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K age

“Did you give her water?” Juliette asked, following way too closely behind me.

“Yes.”

“And food?”

“That’s what the hay is for.” I headed into the kitchen, immediately jerking a beer from the fridge and popping the top.

“She needs supplements. You heard Tom. She’s still healing from a horrible ordeal.” She stood by the kitchen island, glaring at me. When she folded her arms, I half expected her to tap her foot on the floor.

“I’ll take care of that later.”

“Did you brush her? Did you make certain she had everything she needed? Did you spend any time with her?”

I took three pulls on the beer while staring at her. She was even feistier now that her strength had returned. “She’s fine.”

“She’s not fine. You saw that poor baby. She was abused by some horrible fucking person who set her on fire. On purpose. She’s frightened and you certainly didn’t give her the warm and fuzzies.”

Her obvious love of all furry creatures was admirable and I would be remiss if I didn’t admit she’d won over Tank with that saucy smile of hers. But I wasn’t so easily impressed.

“What are you, a horse whisperer now?”

Juliette narrowed her eyes. “What are you, an insufferable asshole now? Oh, that’s right,” she added, snapping the envelope onto the end of the island with enough force Tank whimpered. “You’ve always been an asshole.”

She stormed out of the room and I stared after her. Tank switched positions, peering up at me with soulful eyes. “I don’t get it either, buddy.”

Only I did.

As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Juliette was right.

I was an insufferable ass. At least around her.

Maybe around everyone. Seeing Sadie had allowed too many difficult thoughts to rise from the shadowed whispers of my mind.

Touching her had brought back too many memories, images I had no business being reminded of.

Because I didn’t deserve them.

What in the hell had Henry been thinking?

I allowed my gaze to drift to the envelope.

After finishing off the bottle and tossing it into the trash, I grabbed another.

The envelope remained where it was. I snorted from the thought.

What was I afraid of? And why was it that Juliette had a way of pushing every button, forcing self-examination?

I started to walk by, heading for my private retreat when I stopped at the end of the island. Hissing, I swallowed down a mouthful of the cold brew before thudding the bottle on the surface. As if in a frenzy, I ripped it open, yanking out the letter inside.

Kage,

Sadie is a special horse and I thought you two would be good for each other.

I remembered how much you loved horses when you were a kid.

Your daddy sent me a few pictures of you when you used to ride.

Maybe you don’t remember, but you told me once that you wanted to be a horse trainer.

Your daddy had no idea where you’d gotten that from.

You have an innate love of animals, something I always remembered.

I pulled the letter away, staring off into space. Hell, I’d forgotten when I was small, maybe five or six, my dad had taken me to a horse farm near us. They’d offered pony rides. I’d fallen in love with one of them.

Shit. The colt had been in a fire. She’d been scarred and I was the only boy she’d allowed to ride her. What the fuck? How the hell did Henry know that? From what my father had told me, their hatred of each other had started long before I was born. Exhaling, I felt more anger than I had before.

What else had my father lied about?

Please take care of Sadie. She’ll do you some good and I know you’ll fall in love with her. Just remember, she’s broken inside. I hope you’ll find a special place in your heart for her.

He didn’t sign off. He just ended the note.

But with what he’d said, he’d not only pulled good memories in front of the bad, but he’d also reminded me that I wasn’t the only fucked-up creature in the world.

I tossed the piece of paper onto the counter, staring down at the beer. Suddenly, I didn’t want it any longer.

“Stay here, buddy. This is something I need to do alone.” Tank didn’t try to follow me as I headed to the front door, hesitating before heading outside. Juliette was nowhere to be seen. Just as well. She’d have something to say about how I handled the horse.

The late afternoon sun was waning, dipping low in the sky.

As I headed to the corral, I realized my uncle had been planting seeds or as I’d heard someone say, leaving Easter eggs with the notes.

The man had found a way to force me to face the ugliness from my past as well as the uncertainty about my future.

What the hell was I supposed to do now?

I walked slowly toward the gate. Sadie noticed my approach. At first, she was skittish, lifting her head high as she studied me. If I were her, I’d be uncertain of me as well. But as I drew closer, she walked with determined steps toward the fence.

When I was a few feet away, we stared at each other again.

“Sadie, huh?” I asked.

The lift of her head was frank and telling.

She hated me.

Hell, I hated me too.

I walked closer to the fence, placing my foot on the bottom wooden slat. “I’m Kage.”

Sadie wasn’t impressed. I couldn’t blame her.

I’d done nothing but bark since she’d arrived.

When she took two tentative steps closer, I leaned on the top rail.

It had been a long time since I’d ridden, but Henry had been right.

I’d been so happy when my dad had allowed me to ride.

We’d gone to the ranch every weekend for several months.

Then I’d heard the colt who’d grown several inches by that point had died. When I’d asked why, I’d been told from a broken heart. It had been much later I’d learned she’d died from heart failure because of what she’d been through.

How the fuck had my uncle known that?

I hadn’t spoken to my father since the argument after I’d told him about Henry’s will.

Jesus.

“I don’t know, Sadie, if I’m the best guy to take care of you. I’ve got issues.”

I’d be damned if the horse didn’t snort. She understood every word.

“Don’t rub it in. But my uncle thought we’d make a good team.” I had one arm dangled over the fence. Just staring at the baby and the injuries she’d received.

Sadie stood right where she was for another minute before walking toward me, nuzzling my hand.

The simple act brought another flood of emotions that I usually couldn’t tolerate. At least today, they reminded me other people and animals were suffering more than I’d ever experienced.

I stroked her mane. The art of feeling sorry for myself while remaining angry with the world wasn’t working any longer. But I also didn’t need some chick trying to tell me how to live my life.

A horse.

What in the hell was I going to do with a horse?

The bigger question loomed in the back of my mind.

What about my life?

Since deciding to join the Navy, that’s the only thing I’d concentrated on. Maybe at some point, I’d thought about becoming a career Navy man, retiring with some glorious title to my name. That had been a lifetime ago when I’d believed in mankind.

Fuck that.

Before I realized what I was doing, I headed for the gate, still as tentative as the horse. But when I opened the door, she didn’t run off like I thought she would.

Good sign.

Right now, I needed something good in my life.

I chuckled as I closed the gate behind me.

What I remembered most of all about Uncle Henry was his wicked sense of humor.

Dark as molasses. He’d used his dry sense of humor to hide what my father had called being a part of the worst atrocities known to God and man.

He’d never expounded because that’s not what Rollins men did. We kept our pain inside.

I could see how that was working out for me. Dad’s heart attack had landed him in the hospital with a quadruple bypass.

Uncle Henry hadn’t been so lucky.

Sadie turned toward me, forcing me to come to her. Just like a lady. Just like Juliette. When I was closer, I took the reins into one hand, lifting my arm slowly so she could see what I was doing. There was a hint of fear in her eyes. I’d always been able to tell when the colt had been afraid.

“You’re okay. I won’t hurt you.” As I started stroking her, she whinnied. Just once but it was enough to bring a smile to my face.

I took my time, studying the burns that had left her with nasty scars. “Who did that to you, baby? Whoever it was should be castrated or worse.”

Another whinny and the haunted sound was as if she knew what I was saying. Dogs and horses were intuitive. Much more so than many humans.

Especially yours truly.

“Why don’t we get you some of that special food? Huh? Would you like that?”

Sadie had already managed the art of giving me a side eye just like Tank and definitely like Juliette could do.

I led the horse toward the barn, still thinking about Henry’s note.

When I walked into the oversized structure, I really looked at it for the first time.

Maybe I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge that it existed, the forced retreat into my childhood nothing I wanted or believed I could tolerate.

I opened one of the stalls. There was a feeder already built in.

I’d already filled the trough with water, selecting one of two dozen stalls for my latest guest. Why in the hell had Henry built something so large?

There were three other rooms, the one in the loft reminding me of an office setup complete with internet.

The man had spared no expense in having the barn built.

After adding some feed, I glanced at the duffle bag that Tom had brought. Inside I found several grooming items including several brushes. While Sadie looked well groomed, I retreated into something I’d been allowed to do as the child who’d still believed in magic.