Page 7 of Julian Shared (Secret Lives of Hot Twinks #2)

Joel

Julian and I barely got any shut-eye last night. I have to drag myself out of bed to chase after the day instead of rising to meet it head-on. As I hurry through my shower, I leave my hair dry, only soaping up my face, armpits, and groin before rinsing off.

I do take the time to give myself a good shave, though. I’m thinking about that possible promotion as I slather up the shaving cream and pick up the razor. Nothing is for sure until I have my new rank pinned on my chest. I got to make sure I don’t lose it before I even get it.

That means not only doing my best, but looking my best as well.

I leave my beloved and barely there goatee alone, but do away with any stubble. When I’m done, my cheeks are smooth as Julian’s precious silk robes. I slap on some aftershave too. The good-smelling shit Julian picks out for me: sandalwood and lemon.

I eyeball our empty bed as I leave the bathroom and pull on my uniform. He’s already made up the bed, the linens tucked in with military-grade precision and all those tiny decorative pillows added on.

Julian better not be down in the kitchen. I don’t have time for breakfast.

As I hurry down the stairs, I find Julian waiting at the bottom. He’s already dressed and has my favorite thermos in hand. The smell of freshly-brewed coffee fills our home.

Bless his heart.

“Thank you.” I accept the thermos and take a long gulp.

A dark roast and served black. I’m going to need a lot of it to get through today.

I might look good, but I feel rough. I’ve never been much of an early bird.

Always been more of a night owl. A bad trait for the army life and one I’ve had to carefully manage throughout my career.

But Julian?

He’s an early bird all the way. And he’s already chirping.

“I packed a quick lunch for you,” Julian announces with a smile as he holds up a lunch box like it’s the holy grail. “Some of the leftovers from the barbecue, but with a fresh sandwich.”

I thank Julian again in between swallows of coffee as he follows me to the front door.

“Wait, Joel. Your cap.”

He grabs my garrison cap off the coat rack and sets it atop my head. Funny how everything seems so normal despite last night’s big kinky revelation. Almost suspiciously normal, really. I try not to dwell on that, but the thought begins to burrow into my brain.

I peck a kiss onto Julian’s cheek. He stops me when I’m one foot out the door. “Joel?”

“Yeah?”

“About last night,” Julian starts to say. And then doesn’t say anything more. I glance over Julian’s shoulder to check the time on the wall.

“What about it? It was great, Julian. Your parties always are.”

Julian frowns. “Our parties.”

Yeah, sure. I nod my head.

“Anyway,” Julian continues, but while the frown on his mouth flattens, there’s still displeasure in his eyes. “I was thinking we should…we need a hobby. We could join a wine club.”

“You like wine.” I hate it. I’m more of a whiskey guy.

“Well, it doesn’t specifically have to be wine,” Julian’s cheeks puff up a bit, “but something like that.”

Now it’s my turn to frown. “Julian, what the fuck are you getting at?”

I don’t have time to pry it out of him. Really we shouldn’t even be having this conversation right now. If I’m not early at headquarters, I’ll be late, and that’ll dash all the goodwill Julian bought me from hosting the barbecue.

“It’s just…we don’t get to spend a lot of time together, and that’s why I think last night was so…”

Hot, I want to finish the sentence for him. But Julian’s not cutely blushing or looking delightfully ashamed of himself like he was last night. In the sneaky light of the morning, he just looks pale.

And a little sick.

Fuck. Maybe he really did drink more than I thought.

“Weird,” Julian finishes. “It was weird, and I think I only reacted like that because I get lonely when you’re not here.”

I’ve gone from mildly agitated about Julian holding me up from leaving to pretty pissed he’s trying to pull this shit when he knows I don’t have time to properly discuss it with him.

“You pushed me into climbing the ranks.” I can’t dig into the deeper problem right now, but I can point out the surface issue. “This is what you wanted, Julian. For me and for us. Don’t get salty about getting the life you wanted.”

Julian’s face falls. His lower lip trembles for a moment before he licks it, and then it’s like he’s slipped on a mask. Straightens his spine and lifts his chin. Stiff upper lip. Face forward.

I know that look. The look of quick and utter repression.

Shit.

Regret washes over me. What are we even fighting about?

There’s still no time for breakfast, but I make the time to apologize.

“Hey, c’mere.” I set my briefcase down so I can wrap up Julian in a quick embrace and plant another kiss on his face.

“I’m sorry, okay?” I whisper and smooth his bangs off his forehead.

“You were right. We drank too much and we didn’t sleep much at all.

Let’s have a redo on this conversation when I get home.

But go ahead and start looking for some clubs for us to join. ”

“Okay,” Julian nods and rocks up onto his tiptoes to kiss me back.

I squeeze his side. “But not fucking wine, because I really do hate it, and not bridge because I ain’t that old yet. All right?”

“Right, of course,” Julian echoes me with a smile. A faint smile, but a real one. And maybe it’s not really all right at the moment, but it will be. I’ll make sure of that.

I hit the button to open the garage door and get in my jeep. As I reverse onto the street, I find Julian still on the front porch. Waiting to see me off.

That thought is still lodged in my brain, and regret is still fresh in my throat.

And love is heavy in my heart.

“Hey, look for a dance club!” I call out the window with a wave before I drive off to work.