Page 6 of Julian Shared (Secret Lives of Hot Twinks #2)

Julian

In the daylight hours, the view from our bedroom boasts a picturesque look at the cacti-spotted desert and looming red rock formations cradling Fort Cactus.

It's almost easy to ignore the high cement walls and chain link fence crowned by barbed wire.

To focus only on the beauty of the natural landscape and forget about the military-grade fortifications.

Nightfall paints a different picture.

In the darkness of the desert, the security floodlights switch on. It shines a spotlight directly on the pools and patios of every house on the lane. They turn every late-night activity into a public show…and tonight I’m an avid watcher.

I don’t want to go to bed. Not yet. I’m still too jazzed up from the sweet taste of success from the day’s bake sale and this evening’s party.

It wasn’t perfect, of course, but it almost was. I’m wide awake and buzzing with energy, my mind still racing with thoughts and ideas.

And some worries.

"Mi amor, come to bed,” Joel calls to me.

“Not yet,” I tell him. “Something is going on next door…something weird.”

I hold the curtain open as I watch Cameron’s house.

They’re home. The lights are all on and there’s an extra car in the driveway. Trevor’s out in the backyard…at the grill. Wearing nothing but swim trunks.

And there’s way too much food being cooked for just two people.

That sweet taste in my mouth is quickly replaced with bitterness. Instead of trying to swallow it away, I puff out my cheeks. I can’t believe Cameron and Trevor are having their own party after skipping out on Joel and I’s anniversary barbecue.

"What's weird about it?" Joel’s honey-rich voice rises above the din of the television. "You're the weirdo peeping at folks."

"I'm not peeping, " I protest with a huff as I turn away from the window to shoot Joel a glare, “I’m observing.”

I smooth out the collar of my paisley-print silk robe and glance at the clock. It’s a quarter to midnight.

“This isn’t the first time they’ve done this,” I tell Joel. “Their lights are on at all sorts of hours and there are guests over all the time.”

“You jealous?” Joel wags his eyebrows at me like it’s a question, but I hear the edge of an accusation in his voice. “As reigning champ of neighborhood party planning and premier host with the most, are you worried he's gonna come for your crown?"

"That twink?" I scoff. Cameron was burning cheese when we first met. I won’t ever need to worry about him upstaging me in culinary pursuits. "Please. He could never."

"Of course,” Joel chuckles, his arms stretching behind his head as he lounges along our mattress, “there's no other twink like you."

"Oh, stop. I’m too old to be a twink.” I play with the collar of my robe again, distracted by the handsome sight of Joel. He didn't shave after getting out of the shower. His five o'clock shadow has become so dark I can almost feel it tickling my skin across the room.

I’m still not ready to sleep, but maybe I’m ready for bed after all.

"That’s a bunch of nonsense. You’ll always be my sweet little twink.”

With a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, I turn back toward the window to close the curtains…though I end up throwing them open even wider as I catch movement from the pool next door. There are a bunch of guys swimming.

"I knew it," I hiss. The bitterness in my voice turns into venom. "He's having a party .”

Ever since they moved in, Cameron’s never properly invited me over to his place. Sure, he’ll open his door to me for our cooking lessons, and he’ll come over for morning coffee or afternoon tea, but he’s never welcomed me over to his house for a get-together.

He and Trevor didn’t even have a housewarming party.

And now he’s hosting a party on the same day I had one.

Granted, it’s a small party. Only three other guys are swimming as Cameron dips into the water and joins them. I’d recognize his head of sunshine-yellow hair from any distance or any time of day. They’re army boys, no doubt. Their muscles bulging and mouths running with hoots of laughter.

I recognize one of the soldiers specifically. Buddy is one of Cameron’s party guests. No wonder they were both acting weird earlier.

I watch as Buddy and the others…they’re…Cameron is…with all of them.

"Joel!" I whisper-shout as I’m waving my hand desperately in the air. "Come here, right now, and look at this."

Joel finally joins me at the window, his arm snaking around my waist. He props his chin on the top of my head and looks at the debauchery happening next door.

“Oh, you’re definitely peeping now,” he laughs.

“This isn’t funny,” I snap. Cameron’s in his pool having sex with not one, but two men.

Neither of which are his husband. He’s trapped between Buddy and one of the other soldiers.

Buddy sits on the edge of the pool while Cameron’s head is shoved into his lap, bobbing up and down.

The nameless soldier behind Cameron in the water is doing, well, it’s obvious what’s going on there.

Cameron’s being…taken from both ends while the third soldier waits for his turn.

Trevor’s not even swimming with them. Or watching his husband being used. He’s eating a hot dog.

“I can’t believe he’d do something like this.” Cameron had seemed like such a nice, good boy.

“How in the hell are you being so judgmental right now?” I can’t see the grin on Joel’s face, but I hear it in his voice. “You blew me in public within five minutes of us meeting.”

I bristle at the implication and refuse to acknowledge it. Instead, I focus on what’s happening in the present rather than remembering my own past.

“They’re going to get Trevor slammed with a 314. It’s irresponsible. They’re married.”

Though, does it still count as adultery if they’re both present during it?

It doesn’t matter. I’ve seen enough and learned more than I ever wanted to know about my neighbor. A mixture of emotions brew inside of me. Heat flushes across my face and rushes downward.

Shame. Anger. Disgust. And most damning of all is curiosity.

It all swells within me. Leaves me hot and bothered and confused.

“Eh, the honeymoon bliss is probably starting to wear off. Probably spicing it up with a little threesome.”

“It’s not a threesome,” I scoff.

Not technically.

There’s more than three men down there.

“A little gangbang,” Joel corrects himself with a chuckle as he presses a kiss onto my silk-clad shoulder. “Seriously, what about this has gotten your panties in a twist?”

Before I can protest, or peel myself away from the window so I no longer have to witness our neighbor’s orgy, Joel’s hand steals past the front of my robe and slips inside.

“Joel,” I gasp, but it’s too late. He finds out what I have under my robe…or more like what I’m missing.

“Shit.” Joel marvels at his discovery. His palm rubs slowly, teasingly against my groin before his fingers wrap around my half-hard cock. “You ain’t wearing panties tonight. Was that an anniversary present for you or me?”

For both of us.

With indulgent strokes, he pumps my erection into full hardness.

I’m embarrassed, but Joel is amused. I can feel the sharpness of his grin against the back of my neck as he holds me close.

I swallow hard, my eyes almost fluttering shut as the arousal I’ve been trying to keep at bay is finally unleashed by Joel’s demanding tugs.

And he’s responding in kind too.

I feel the hardness of his manhood press against my backside.

“Joel,” I say again, but it’s not a gasp this time.

It’s a whimper. A desperate, needy little sound.

I can’t even explain why I’ve reacted this way.

What about spotting the group sex next door has turned me on.

It’s not like I’m attracted to Cameron or his husband or Buddy or any of those other strangers out there.

No, not like that.

Yet I am picturing myself in Cameron’s place in a similar scenario. With Joel and with other men. Strangers. Like all the anonymous men I used to hook up with at clubs and bars before I met Joel.

“You like the show going on down there?” Joel teases me. “Wishing maybe I’d arranged a special after party like that for you tonight?”

I can’t answer him. I can’t say anything but pant and buck my hips against the pleasure he’s wringing out of me.

“You’re such a dirty boy,” Joel chuckles, his voice dark and deep. “Wanting your anniversary gift to be making you into a present for other men. I didn’t know you were feeling slutty again, love.”

I can’t help it. The…the idea. It’s making me hot all over and aching for something I can’t even really name.

Being shared. Getting used.

Having my husband and love of my life expose me to other men like that.

I can’t hold back. I need Joel so badly.

“Please,” I beg again, but I’m not begging him to stop. I beg him to keep going. To keep touching me. To get inside me. To fuck me. I didn’t just forget to put on underwear tonight, I skipped it entirely, and already prepped myself with lube.

I scramble to get the curtains closed before our neighbors and their guests notice us.

Joel doesn’t take me to bed.

He has me right there up against the window. I bury my cries of pleasure into the curtain’s damask as Joel buries his cock deep into my ass.

◆◆◆

“How come you never told me that’s a turn-on for you?” Joel asks once we’re finally cleaned up and in bed together. The lights in our bedroom are off, and there’s no rowdy noise from outside. Either the party is over with or they moved it inside.

Not that it matters.

I’m not thinking about our neighbors. I’m only thinking about Joel. How warm and big he feels as I cuddle against him, my ear pressed against his chest to listen to the steady beat of his heart and slow draw of his breathing.

“I didn’t know it was,” I answer.

And that’s the honest truth.

When I was young and rebellious and still struggling to accept myself, one-night stands and shady hook-ups were the only way I could accept my desire for other men. I could only take another a cock in my mouth or ass if I knew I wouldn’t have to see the other guy’s face the next morning.

The anonymity of strangers in the dark wasn’t just a thrill for me. Back then, it’d felt like safety. Nobody knowing me. Not knowing anybody else.

But that all changed after Joel. After him, everything became so bright. I did everything I could to leave the dark of my past behind so I wouldn’t sully our future together.

“Do you miss it?”

Joel’s voice turns so soft in the dark. There’s a thread of fragility in it. Joel’s the strongest man I’ve ever known and that’s because he has real strength, true strength. It’s what allows him these vulnerable moments with me. When he can be weak and unsure.

I know what his question means. I don’t try to feign ignorance or plead innocence. I know Joel’s talking about the other men. I was…well, I was a slut before I got together with Joel. Being a slut was how I met him in the first place.

“It’s not the sex I miss,” I admit and that’s the honest truth too. Since we got married, I haven’t lusted after or crushed on anyone else. I’ve been as loyal to Joel in heart and mind as I’ve been in body. “But I guess I miss the attention, sometimes.”

When Joel used to deploy, I never struggled with the lack of sex, but I did get lonely. And I’m still lonely, some days, when he’s away at work.

“Mostly I miss the dancing.”

I sigh as he rubs gentle circles on my back.

In the comfort of the dark, we talk and talk. We share our fears and worries, but also our pleasures and wonders. Joel and I talk about the past, but we talk about the future too.

What else we miss. What else we want.

How hot it was for Joel to whisper all that filth into my ear while he was fucking me.

We talk until it’s barely dark anymore. I don’t know when it happens, but night turns to twilight.

“You know it wasn’t about…them, right?” It’s important to me that Joel understands that. After everything that’s happened. I don’t want him to think I’m crushing on Cameron or attracted to another man’s husband. “I don’t want anyone but you, Joel.”

“I know, mi amor,” he yawns.

Last night hasn’t really changed the way I feel about our neighbors.

It’s changed how I feel about myself.