Page 12 of Julian Shared (Secret Lives of Hot Twinks #2)

Julian

When Joel brought the first dildo for me, he said it was so I could keep myself satisfied until he was back to do it himself. It didn’t keep away the loneliness while Joel was gone overseas, but it did keep me company in other ways.

With bated breath, I tear into the packaging of the new toy and find some batteries for it…and give it a quick wash. Once that’s sorted, I take both the old and the new with me into bed, crawling deep under the sheets and duvet and blankets.

I reach into my bedside drawer and pull out a bottle of lube. Ignoring the sudden spike of guilt in my stomach, I coat my fingers generously and then return to the comfortable darkness beneath all the bedding.

I’ve never played with myself like this. Not when Joel’s not deployed. I’ve only ever fucked myself with a toy when he’s thousands of miles away.

Yet I ignore the churn of guilt in my belly and the rush of shame across my face as I hook a lubed-up finger into myself. Joel said he wanted me to use the new toy whenever I wanted…so obviously, he won’t mind me getting off by myself.

I don’t know why Joel decided to buy us this second one…other than maybe, just maybe, he’s also been thinking about it too.

As I prep myself, I keep my eyes screwed shut tightly but my inner walls relaxed as I push the lube deep into my ass. The air underneath the covers grows stale as my breathing becomes shallow.

It feels like I’m making trouble. Doing something naughty.

And that just makes me want to do it even more.

I think about Joel sharing me. What it would be like. How it would feel. I finger myself until the need to get properly filled grows too great. With a frustrated huff, I finally push the bedding away and move the pillows.

With shaking hands, I pick up the new dildo and use the suction cup to plant it onto the headboard of the bed. It sucks itself into position like a charm.

It hangs there perfectly in place, looming before me. It’s very…large. And thick. And realistic too.

The flesh color is a dark tan. The tip even has a slight rosiness to it. There are even balls at the base.

I squirt more lube onto my fingers and wrap them around the fake cock, but treat it like it’s real. I rub my thumb over the tip and fondle the balls. I use both hands to get it nice and slick. As if I’m servicing a real person who’s about to enter me.

My nipples are still hard from the cold shower and my flesh is covered with goosebumps. Here it goes. There’s no going back now. Time to test the new toy out.

The second I turn it on, the peace and quiet of the bedroom is shattered. The vibrations are powerful and the thrusts are brutal. I flinch with surprise. I'm almost intimidated to use it, but that intimidation hasn't flagged my erection. Not in the slightest.

If anything, it's even made me harder.

I swallow as I squirm along on my knees, turning myself around.

I put myself into a submissive position for the toy.

Down on my hands and knees, my backside jutting out into the air as I slowly work back toward the headboard.

I reach behind me and grip the base, my palm over the rounded mound, as I use that contact to guide it into myself.

The tip catches the rim of my asshole. I let out a gasp and reposition myself for the next thrust. As it juts forward once more, it finally sheathes itself fully inside of me.

A perfect aim.

I swear it’s like a firework is set off. I cry out as it begins to thrust in and out of my hole with ruthless intent. My thighs widen and I drop my head, clutching the bed for purchase.

I pretend it's Joel's cock…but I also pretend it's not.

I suppose it doesn't really matter, in the end, because it's not anyone's cock. I'm alone and it's just a toy, but it doesn’t feel like I’m in control anymore. As it rams in and out of me, I really do feel like someone is fucking me.

And yet it’s still not enough.

Lost in my lust, I grab hold of the old dildo with both hands and hold it up. This one isn’t fancy. There’s no suction cup or vibrations. No bells or whistles. But it’s the exact same size as Joel is.

I start to kiss it and suck on the tip, playing with both of the toys at the same time. One in my ass and the other occupying my mouth. But I can’t get over how silly I must look like that. I should have turned off the lights before I got this started.

And locked the bedroom door.

With a groan of frustration, I drop the dildo in my hand and let the one in my ass slip out. It continues to fuck the air as I stand up and grab my sleep mask. There. That will be better. I’m so unbelievably horny that I don’t even have the patience to turn off the lights or lock the door.

I pull the sleep mask over my face and let the darkness take me.

◆◆◆

I don’t know how long I stay in bed like that. Time melts away as I’m getting fucked from both ends, pleasuring myself by pretending I’m servicing Joel and some other man.

A stranger. Someone Joel picked out of a crowd.

I fantasize that Joel is in my mouth and an anonymous man is in my hole. I haven’t even been touching myself. My neglected cock bobs uselessly in the air as I focus only on submissively taking it.

The sounds the vibrating dildo makes alongside my greedy moans are obscene. I didn’t turn on the television or music to drown out the noises of my exploration. It occurs to me the mechanical buzzing and my slutty cries of pleasure must be echoing throughout the house.

What if…what if Joel came home early and found me like this?

Playing with myself? Being a greedy thing and taking two toys at once?

My cheeks burn. My thighs tremble.

I'm so hard it hurts.

My hole clenches down around the ruthless ramming of the dildo.

I feel…taken. And used. I rock back and forth on it, still down on my knees as I struggle to maintain that position.

Fantasy and memories mix together. Is this really what I wanted all along when I used to hook up with strangers at the club?

I used to blow one or two or even three different guys in one night. Yet it still left me hungry. Joel was the only man who’d ever been able to tame me. But before I found the one and only man for me, maybe I was…maybe I was just waiting for more to happen to me.

In the safety of my mind, I let my imagination conjure up all sorts of dark and dirty things.

I pretend I don't know who the strange man is behind me. He's nobody. He's nothing. He's just a cock using me like I'm a piece of meat.

Like I'm a hole my husband has laid out as a welcome mat.

Not just with his permission, but under his command.

I'm being fucked because Joel wants it. Wants to see it, watch it. To see me choke on his dick while someone else fucks me. Joel is there, so I'm protected, but other than that…I'm utterly at the mercy of this stranger’s whims.

I’m lost in that dirty-wrong-fantastic fantasy.

I cry out, my cock leaking as I rut backward. Eager. Greedy. Shameless. I desperately try to pleasure something that'll never know satisfaction. Again and again, I’m stuffed full and fucked into submission.

The toy in my mouth finally slips free and drops lifelessly on the bed. I don’t bother chasing after it. My lips part as wave after wave of pleasure rocks through my body. The fake cock in my ass pounds directly against my prostate.

"Ah!" I cry out again. And again.

I'm close. I'm so close. I'm going to come without touching myself. With only the toy ramming in and out of me.

And that's when my phone rings.

My phone has charged itself and turned back on. I try to ignore it, but when it keeps on ringing, I rip off my sleep mask and glance over at the screen. Oh, no. It’s Joel. I reach behind me and turn off the toy.

The sudden silence that engulfs the room is deafening.

"Yes?" I answer my phone. Oh, fuck. I sound…well, I found like I’ve just been fucked. "Hi. Is-is everything all right, dear?"

This is an odd time for Joel to call. It can’t have been that long, right? Though from the way my ass is aching, I’m starting to think I’ve been edging myself and playing far longer than I’ve realized. I must have lost track of time.

"Uh-huh, is everything all right with you?" he counters easily. "You don't sound right. You trying to take up jogging again? Stick with your yoga, that's what you like best."

"What? No, it's not that. I'm not exercising. I'm..."

I can’t bear to admit it. I swallow hard and glance down at myself. My brain is so scrambled and somehow I'm still turned on. I glance down at myself. A bead of pearly white eases out of the tip of my throbbing dick, dripping past the bulging veins of my shaft.

I don't want to lie to Joel.

But I can't tell him the truth.

I say nothing and continue panting. I’m too horny to control myself. I nudge my ass back against the lifeless dildo. I let the head tease my rim before it slips inside. Nice and easy. I’m so wet from the lube and stretched out.

A little moan escapes my lips.

"Oh." Joel's put the pieces together. "Well, you wait just as you are. Hold on.”

The line goes silent for a long, tense moment. I let out a little whimper.

"There we go. This is better. I can talk freely now. Tell me more, Julian."

His voice is pure liquid sex.

"Joel, please. You…you're at work."

"I'm taking a break and out in my jeep. Nobody is gonna overhear anything. C’mon and tell me what a dirty boy you’ve been without me."

I struggle to play along. All the shame that I was fucking out of myself before comes rushing back now. "You can't - please, Joel."

I protest, but I don't stop it. I can't. I want it too badly to do anything more than put up a few feeble protests in the spirit of decency.

I put Joel on speaker phone and put it down so I have my hands free. With one reaching behind me and the other fisting the sheets, I slowly begin to ease myself back onto the toy’s intimidating length.

"I ain't doing anything, sweetheart. I'm just gonna talk to you while you finish up. Tell me exactly what you're doing to yourself," Joel cajoles. It's so easy to give into him.

"I-I have the toy out," I admit. “The new one. And the other one.”

"You in the bathroom?" he asks. "I know how much you like keepin' things nice and clean."

"No," I answer with a gulp of air. "I'm in bed…our bed."

I bite my lip as I glance over toward Joel's side. If I pressed my nose into his pillow, I'd be able to smell him. He feels so close. Even if he's not in the room with me right now.

"Not just a dirty boy, but a filthy one. My good, filthy boy."

Joel's voice is warm and sharp. Like a slice of sunshine splitting through the clouds after a storm. My heart practically leaps into my throat and my blood is still rushing south. My balls ache with need while the cock throbs with want.

"I had my sleep mask on while I was…using the toys." My voice is quiet. Practically a whisper. Though that's not quite accurate, is it? I was letting them use me.

"Like you're blindfolded?" Joel chuckles. "Kinky. Put it back on and let’s get you fucked.”

Even if he can't see me, I nod my head. In the face of so much shame and uncertainty, it feels comforting to just do whatever Joel tells me to do.

I slip the sleep mask back over my eyes and flick the on switch. The toy buzzes back to life again, resuming its frantic thrusts.

"Shit, that's loud," Joel comments.

"I know," I moan over it.

“You jerking off while its inside you?” he asks.

I let out a breathy, resistant moan. "I don't want to touch myself."

"Too bad. Do it anyway." Joel's voice is a dark purr. The satisfaction of a cat who not only stole the cream but hunted down the cow who made it.

With the blindfold back on, I go back to fucking myself. On my hands and knees, biting down on my lip while Joel talks dirty to me.

I lose myself in pleasure. Utterly shameless. Wonderfully slutty.

As the toys fucks in and out of me, I reach down and take myself in hand. I tug on my cock, moaning and whimpering.

“Need it real bad, don’t you? So bad you had to double-up. Hot as hell, Julian. One in your ass and one in your mouth. Stuffed full. Were you thinking about me?”

“Yes,” I cry out, rocking back and forth, “I was…I was pretending I was sucking you off while someone else fucked me.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. A stranger…maybe lots of different strangers.”

“I bet. Like all those anonymous hook-ups you used to do. Such a slut,” Joel says. But he says it so warmly and with so much fondness in his voice. “My slut,” he purrs, “and my husband. All mine. There you go, love. Touch yourself while you’re getting fucked. I want to hear you come."

"Please, Joel, please." I'm begging for it.

For him, really.

“Do it, love. Come while you imagine me passing you around the room. Fucked and filled by a bunch of different guys. Soldiers, right? Down to the last. Servicing each and every one with both your sweet, tight holes.”

I'd give anything for Joel to be here and see this. Watch me as I debase myself. As I’m ruined. Dark and wild images run through my mind.

A whole crowd….a whole gang.

Being taken and fucked, one after the other, until I can’t take it anymore. Until Joel orders them to stop. That thought is too much for me to handle. I can't hold out or hold back anymore.

With that mental image burning away the darkness behind my eyelids, I come. That's how I get off. Being used from both ends. Being stuffed and filled and utterly, shameless degraded like the dirty little slut I am - oh.

I cry out, the sound practically strangled out of me. It's too much, far too much.

I fall forward, barely able to catch myself before I face-plant into the sheets. I make a mess on our bed. Thick, milky ropes of come smear across my belly and drip onto the sheets.

"Fuck, Julian."

The lust in Joel's voice is so thick I can hear it on his phone. I smile as I imagine him hard underneath his uniform. Out in his jeep. Unable to take care of himself. Maybe he'll let me take care of it when he gets home tonight.

The dildo is still fucking away at the air. I quickly shut it off and the room falls quiet. Blessed silence.

"You okay?" Joel asks. "Was that too much?"

"No, it was - it was wonderful.”

The only thing missing is that Joel wasn't there in person with me.

"You'll be doing much more than thanking me later."

"Joel?" I say his name sweetly. My husband. My love. My everything. I drop the sleep mask onto the nightstand and stand up from the bed. I turn off the speaker phone and hold my phone back up to my ear. Cradle it close and wait, holding my breath.

"I'm just saying,” Joel intones, his voice edged with a growl, “more than dinner better be ready for me when I get home tonight.”