Page 11 of Julian Shared (Secret Lives of Hot Twinks #2)

Julian

I wake up softly the next morning. No alarm drags me away from dreamland and into the waking world. I drift slowly and simply. I’m wrapped up in blankets, the hum of the air conditioner already on, but beneath my cocoon, I’m protected from the blast of cold air.

When I blink open my eyes, all that comfort turns to panic. There’s far too much daylight in our room…and Joel is missing from the bed.

In fact, his side has been perfectly tucked and tidied. Oh no. Somehow, I’ve overslept. I pull myself into a sitting position, wildly searching for my phone. It’s lost somewhere in all the downy pillows and fluffy blankets.

I eventually find it and discover it won’t turn on. The screen is black. I must have forgotten to charge it before going to bed last night. After we got home, Joel and I were very, well, busy. He took very good care of me, returning the favor of the blowjob I gave him in the car.

Joel might enjoy coming first, but he’s never been a selfish lover. He always makes sure I get mine too.

I’ve just gotten my phone plugged in when Joel tries to sneak out of the bathroom. He’s already fully dressed for the day. Even has his boots and cap on.

“Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you, but I forgot my vitamins.”

Never mind that. I’m more concerned with why he didn’t wake me up when he did. “What time is it?” I ask, shoving off the blankets and swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “I’ll get your coffee.”

Joel’s at my side, ushering me back into bed before I can stand up. “Julian, it’s fine. I already took care of all that. Lay back down. Hell, sleep in for a change.”

He sits on the edge and tugs up the various blankets and sheets until they’re draped up around my waist.

“Joel, is something wrong?” I may relent to being put back into bed, but I stay sitting upright as I fluff a pillow behind me.

“Nothing,” Joel reassures me and pecks a kiss against my mouth. “But I won’t be home until late tonight, so don’t wait around for me. Take today to treat yourself and properly relax, all right?”

I nod my head, but I can’t help prodding for more information. “What’s going on?”

Joel sighs. “Some disciplinary action is going down. Manuel got himself into a real shit storm. He slept with another soldier’s wife. I think you know her…Minh?”

It takes my brain a long moment to put the pieces together. “Minh and Manuel cheated together?”

“Yep, that they did. Not sure how it’ll hash out in the end, to be honest.”

I’m stunned. Things between Minh and her husband must have been a lot worse than I thought.

I feel so bad. Like I should have known or done something more to help.

However, I’m not so surprised to hear at all that Joel’s friend was involved in all this.

Bless his heart, but that’s the type of man who gives fuck boys their moniker.

“Are you still going to be friends with Manuel?” I ask not to judge, but just to know.

Joel rubs the back of his neck. “Fuck. People’s business is their own, but I gotta admit it’s hard to imagine staying friendly with a cheater. I don’t know. If it were anyone else, no, but it’s Manuel and he’s…”

“He’s Manuel,” I finish for Joel and nod with understanding. Making bad decisions and bouncing from one disaster to the next is just how Manuel lives.

“What about Minh?” he asks in return.

Oh, that’s right. It does take two people to cheat. “I’m not sure it really matters,” I admit, “if things blow up I can’t imagine she’ll stay on post.”

I might not see her again. My stomach twists at the thought. Besides Cameron, Minh’s the only other spouse I’m close enough with to call a friend. Suddenly, I feel like I’ve already lost her.

“I’ll go check in on her later today. Make sure she’s okay.” In my head, I’m already deciding what baked goods to bring as the excuse to pop over uninvited.

“Well, you didn’t hear all this gossip from me, all right?” Joel asks as he stands up and squeezes my toes underneath the covers. “I’m taking off. Remember what I told you to do — relax.”

I’m so off schedule and we’re so far from our routine.

It feels downright wrong to stay in bed while I listen to Joel take off for work.

Still, I do as he’s instructed. I lay back down and curl against my pillow, but I can’t go back to sleep.

Each time I close my eyes, my head fills with all sorts of wicked imagery and thoughts.

I think about Cameron and Trevor and their happily arranged agreement to let other men use Cameron.

And then I compare it to Minh’s situation, unhappy and pregnant and cheating on her husband because…well, it’s not my place to say why she did what she did.

But it still makes me worry about my own marriage.

What if I cheated on Joel? Or he cheated on me?

It’s a worry so ridiculous it’s not even based in reality.

But when I think about the fantasies we’ve been playing around with…and then last night’s dancing…well, fear might drain the color from my face but it still sends all that blood rushing into my dick.

What in the world is wrong with me?

I tell myself to stop thinking about it, but once I’m thinking it, well, I can’t stop. I take a cold shower and try to will away the erection, but it doesn’t help. In fact, with my nipples gone as hard as my cock, it just makes it worse.

I’m more horny than I’ve been in years.

Cheating isn’t the fear nipping at me anymore. It’s that insistent, wild fantasy about Joel willingly sharing me with other men.

I’m never going to be able to get on with the day until I take care of this, so I decide to just get on with it.

I’ll give in to all the weird and naughty desires that tug and pull at me. Maybe once I’ve indulged in them, they’ll lose the appeal.

With one towel wrapped around my waist and another over my head, I pad into the closet. Finding the new dildo that Joel gifted me is easy. It’s right there, still in the packaging, though I have to dig through shoe boxes to find where I stuck the old one.

It’s in there. Somewhere. It has to be.

I haven’t used it since the last time Joel was deployed. I finally find it shoved in a shoe-box that’s hidden in a plastic tub for winter wear. Joel and I will never need to wear snow pants and woolen vests in the desert of Camp Cactus.

I must have thought I’d never need the dildo again either.

Though right now I need it so bad…I need two of them to satisfy my wicked curiosities.