Page 71 of Jain

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.” Evan sighed.

“Um, I’m sorry. Maybe this was a bad idea.” I turned to walk away when Evan called my name, the authoritative tone stopping me in my tracks.

“Jain. You coming into this room was never a bad idea.Ever.”

I hung my head, my emotions battling within me for the top spot. I allowed the battle to continue within me, and before I knew it, he was standing close to me. Close enough so I could smell the soap on his skin, the deodorant under his arms. The aftershave he wore on his neck, the mint on his breath.

“My mum knew about us,” I confessed as his eyes widened. My shoulders sagged with relief at finally telling him the reason why I’d ended everything all those years ago.

Evan fell back, leaning onto a table behind him. “What?”

I nodded as tears filled my eyes. “I didn’t have much choice. If I stayed with you and did the whole ‘Romeo and Juliet’ scene, she would’ve ruined you. I couldn’t let that happen to you. So, I made the best decision I could.”

Evan stared at me, clenching his jaw before turning away from me. I reached out for him, but he flinched, moving away from me again.

“The whole ‘Romeo and Juliet’ thing? They loved eachother, Jain. They’d rather die than be apart. Maybe I misunderstood your feelings for me. Losing my job to be with you would’ve been nothing compared to seeing you marry another man,” he muttered, walking away from me and towards his desk.

“I just did what I thought was right. I was eighteen, Evan—”

“So? You weren’t the only one in the relationship, Jain. We were in love! I fucking loved you,” he said, pushing his head into his hands. “But you love Julian, and you’re going to marry him, right?”

He looked up at me then, and I knew it was now or never.

I can’t.

“Right,” I said hollowly, my voice cracking as I spoke.

Evan’s eyes darkened before his shoulders visibly deflated.

“Ok then. There’s nothing more I can say, is there?”

“I guess not. I just wanted you to know, that’s all,” I whispered, wringing my hands together. I made my way to the door, fighting back tears.

“Thanks for that.” Evan snapped, and I left, letting the door close softly behind me.

I tried to compose myself as I continued walking, but something wouldn’t allow the tears to stop. I flung myself into the nearest toilets, grateful they were empty. I sat on the toilet and sobbed, for everything that was, for everything that might’ve been, and for having the grace to accept that I couldn’t change the situation.

I had a lovely man who wanted to marry me, build a home with me. He loved me, and I loved him. Not everything was fireworks and insanity. Sometimes it was just...normality.

Anyway, what was the alternative?

A whirlwind romance with my old teacher?I shook my head, refusing to entertain the idea any longer.

I was getting married in less than two weeks.

I needed to remember that.

I’d already deceived Julian once, and I wasn’t going to let it happen again.

Evan

Ipulled up outside, double-checking the address against the one I’d read on Jain’s file all those years ago.

Yes, I was that guy.

But it was necessary.

My phone rang, and I saw it was Billy, an old friend of mine from university.