Page 51 of It’s Always Been You (Always #1)

It had been three hours.

Nate was leaning against the wall, looking at everyone waiting anxiously for news.

Caitlin coded twice. The first time, Travis kept it together to immediately administer CPR and he was able to get her back just when the paramedics arrived.

The second time was when they unloaded the gurney from the ambulance.

That was when Travis lost his shit because it was beyond his control.

Nate and Ed had to hold him back and talk him down so the nurses and doctors could do their jobs without Travis screaming at them to save her.

The flurry of activity, the rush of people in scrubs, and the urgency of the situation when the doctor climbed on top of the gurney to execute CPR as it was wheeled into the operating theatre, simply broke his friend.

Travis was now quietly simmering in a corner alone.

Nate couldn’t bear to look at him, for his ravaged face was the picture of a man on the brink of losing everything.

The anger, agony, and despair emanating from every inch of Travis reminded him of the man three years ago following Sarah’s death.

Except this time, Travis would endure through every second of his wife fighting to stay alive .

Lillian and Daniel were sitting solemnly beside Beatrice.

Travis’s parents showed up within the hour of receiving the news.

When they hugged their son he was rigid; his arms were limp at his sides.

God knows what limbo Travis had retreated to.

He was unreachable, as though trapped in his own private hell. He had tuned everyone out.

Beatrice caught Nate’s eye and jerked her head toward Travis. She wanted him to go to their friend. No right words came to mind at the moment. But he could stand by his friend and offer his silent support.

He walked over and leaned against the wall beside Travis. He squeezed his friend’s shoulder briefly, not saying anything. It surprised him when Travis did.

“He did it out of spite.”

Nate stilled. “Who?”

“Crowe,” Travis bit off. “Porter was the one with the gun, but Caitlin was the one who messed up Crowe’s plans in taking her with him.

He was fucked. If Caitlin died, he knew I would hate Porter forever.

” Travis shifted on his feet and then continued, “I’m glad he’s not here.

He straight out lied about the pictures, Nate.

He led me to believe that Caitlin betrayed me.

I can’t look at him and not think that he’d played with our lives, thinking he was God.

That over two years of friendship was nothing to him except one big fucking agenda.

And now Caitlin is paying the ultimate price. ”

“Travis—” Nate squeezed his shoulder again, this time reminding him that Beatrice was just a couple of feet away. The redhead had grown pale and started fidgeting with her fingers.

“I’ve been going over this in my mind,” Travis said hoarsely. “What if she wakes up and doesn’t remember who I am?”

Shit . Nate didn’t think about that.

“I’d do it all over again, Nate,” he continued.

“Make her fall in love with me. I don’t care if it takes weeks or months.

As long as I have her. I’ll love her enough for both of us until she’ll learn to love me again.

” His lips pressed into a bitter smile and he shook his head.

“It kills me that we had a fight because of my stupidity. I hurt her. And then before I could make it right, this happened.”

Travis cocked his head sideways to look at Nate, shaking his head in regret. “What if she dies not knowing I realized I fucked up.”

“Don’t you dare lose hope, Trav,” Nate whispered fiercely. The fight was leaving his friend, judging by the slump in his shoulders.

“I can’t live without her.”

“You won’t live without her. She has survived before; she’ll survive this time.”

“She told me she loved me.” This time Travis’s lips lifted in a faint smile.

“I was there, buddy.”

“It’s always been her.”

“I know, Trav.”

Nate looked up to see every pair of eyes in the waiting room on them. Lillian had been crying on and off, and Beatrice’s eyes were puffy. Everyone knew if Travis lost Caitlin today, he would never recover. Ever.

An hour later, the OR doors finally swooshed open and a man in dark blue scrubs walked through.

“Caitlin Kincaid?”

“You’re so beautiful, sunshine girl.”

“Keep that thing away from me.”

“Sex hair. You look thoroughly fucked.”

Laughter .

“I love you, Caitlin.”

Her eyes opened. Antiseptic. Hospital.

She didn’t feel a damn thing. And her limbs felt like rubber. Otherwise, everything was just cool.

“Cat—”

That low, raspy voice. She turned her head and stared straight into bloodshot, sapphire blue eyes.

“Travis,” she whispered back.

His eyes grew glassy. He bent his dark head and stared at his hand, which was joined with hers as though he was struggling to control an overwhelming emotion; then he looked back at her.

“You remember me,” he choked. Then taking a long drawn out breath, he repeated. “You remember me.” He kissed their entwined fingers and then bent over to press a gentle kiss on her lips.

She smiled in contentment. She was floating back into a haze again. Probably morphine-induced, but she didn’t care.

It would be a few days before she was cognizant about the comings and goings in her hospital room. Gunshot to the back by that dickwad Crowe. The last time she was laid up for so long in a hospital she had a broken arm and leg, plus amnesia. This time was markedly different.

Starting with the love of her life.

Travis walked in, freshly showered, and he had finally shaved.

He’d had three days’ worth of stubble, which Caitlin thought was über sexy, so she lamented the fact it was gone.

He was also no longer gaunt like that first day she woke up.

That time, it hurt to look at him; so much pain reflected not only in his eyes but all over his face.

Today, a light danced in his eyes. He bent down to kiss her.

“What?” he asked, his lips quirked in a half-grin .

“You’re so handsome.”

“Caitlin, did you trick the nurse into giving you extra morphine?” her husband mocked.

“I did like your stubble. Why did you shave?”

“Getting too long, babe, it was itchy as hell.” He leaned a hip against the bed, his tone turning serious. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Starting to feel the sting on my back,” Caitlin said.

“They’ve been cutting down on your pain meds. How’s your appetite? Anything particular you want to eat for lunch? I think you’ve had enough of this hospital gruel. I can get you something light and tasty if you want.”

That was about the sum of their conversation for the past three days.

Small talk. For one thing, she had been out of it for a while, but Caitlin felt they had skirted around the topic enough.

She knew Travis wanted to talk about the one thing that felt unsettled between them, but was worried she couldn’t handle it, so she said, “Porter said you changed your mind about Virginia Beach.”

Travis was caught off guard. “Uh . . . yeah.” He looked at her, his eyes pleading. “I didn’t even make it to the airport. I was so stupid, Cat. Forgive me? I nearly ruined us.”

“The pictures. Jase and I were undercover.”

“I know. Porter clarified everything,” Travis said, his eyes darkening slightly. “I don’t know how he managed to make me listen to him while the paramedics worked on you. He probably knew I would never talk to him again.”

“A part of me hates him, especially for what he put you through,” Caitlin whispered. “Yet another part of me gets him.”

Travis scowled at her. “I’ll never trust him again.”

“Oh, Travis.” Caitlin could see how he was hurting. Travis had looked up to Porter for the longest time, only to discover that the man he idolized had clay feet.

“He also told me when we got married, you ceased working undercover with Jase in that capacity. You never cheated on me, Cat.”

“You didn’t know this when you left for the airport,” she said gently. “What made you change your mind?”

“I realized all this was pride.” He took her hands in his.

“And it didn’t matter what happened before.

You were right. It wasn’t fair to you. You can’t defend your actions in the past if you can’t remember.

” He was shaking his head in remorse. “Then it hit me that if I’d only stopped and thought about it, you would never cheat on me.

Just not in you, babe.” Travis’s face looked pained.

“You getting hurt is my fault . . . I shouldn’t have left you—”

“I’m the one who got us in this mess—”

“Cat, no—”

“You got hurt too; all I could think about was Porter’s threat to torture you.”

“Ah . . . babe,” Travis whispered. “I’d walk through hell for you, as long as you’ll be waiting for me on the other side.

I’ll go through anything for you. I’ll bear all your pain, sunshine.

I wish I took that bullet for you. I don’t care if you drive me nuts trying to protect you.

” Travis ran his fingers through her hair before cupping her face and tilting it up.

“All I hope and pray is that you never leave me. Never, Cat.”

“I won’t.”

“I do stupid shit.”

“I know.”

“I’ve got a bad temper.”

“I know that, too. And you need to rein in that jealous streak of yours. I’ve been meaning to lay in on you about nearly strangling Nate.”

Travis scowled. “I squared that away with him.”

“Oh, is that why he’s so tentative when he hugs me?”

Her husband looked away.

“Travis?”

“What? ”

“Shut it down.”

His jaw clenched stubbornly. “I can’t, Cat. That’s me.”

“You can’t barricade me from every male relative, friend, and acquaintance.”

“Watch me.”

“You don’t want to be known as the psycho husband, do you?”

Travis smirked.

Caitlin sighed. She would have to condition him slowly. A little voice inside her wished her luck.

“Caitlin?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s something else I need to know.”