Page 48 of It’s Always Been You (Always #1)

“Why do you have to see him?”

“Porter said he had more—”

“I’m going to kick Porter in his balls when I see him,” Caitlin muttered. “Wait. Why do you have to see more?”

“I have to know, Cat.” His voice was hoarse.

Her heart squeezed tight. It was for the agony in his voice, the desolation. But also because what they’d shared this past few weeks wasn’t enough. She realized that now. She dreaded what he had to know. She asked anyway, “What more do you have to know?”

“If you cheated on me while we were married.”

Just like that, all the oxygen seemed to have been sucked out of the room, and her heart shattered into a million pieces.

A wounded cry echoed in the room. It was hers.

Her face must have crumpled in despair for panic flashed across Travis’s face as he moved to her and tried to gather her in his arms.

Fury and extreme hurt made her reject him.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” Caitlin screamed at him. “Don’t you dare!”

“Babe, I’ll love you no matter what,” Travis said raggedly. “I just need closure. I find out, I’ll deal with it. Then move forward. I promise.”

Caitlin emitted a short scornful laugh. “Don’t you see, Trav? There’s no moving forward. You’ll never get over Jase Locke. He’ll always come between us. I was just too stupid to see that.”

“That’s not true,” Travis stated resolutely. “I love you too much. Just give me this.”

“Travis, if I did cheat on you while we were married, are you really saying that you can get over it? Trust the person I am now, Travis. I will never do that to you. ”

“You never told me you worked for the CIA either. We were married for two years, Cat. When did you think you were going to tell me?”

“I don’t know.” They said an injury to the brain like hers could change one’s personality. Was she a cheating, lying bitch before? Oh, God.

“I hate you,” Caitlin whispered.

“Cat, babe. No.” Travis’s voice sounded so broken. He took another step toward her, the sheer anguish on his face almost causing her to regret her words. Almost.

“I hate you for making me fall in love with you, for making me trust you. Then you turn around and break my heart and make me doubt the person I had been before all this. So, yes, before I could even say I love you,” she drew in a ragged breath.

“I hate you, Travis. I wish you never found me. I wish I remained dead to you. Because this hurt I’m feeling right now?

It’s not worth it. You made me hope and have dreams, only to yank it from under me and slap me for my sins in a past that I don’t even remember. ”

Travis finally got a hold of her shoulders, gripping her tightly, he shook her. “You’re not listening, babe. I don’t care. I just need to know. Then we move forward. I’m in love with you. That will never change.”

“You can’t say that,” Caitlin said tonelessly. “Betrayal of a marriage is hard to get over. I know I won’t. The trust will never be the same.”

“It will, babe,” Travis said gently. “We’ll make it so.”

Caitlin crossed her arms and twisted to get out of his grip. “You’re flying to Virginia Beach?”

“Yes.”

“You get on that plane, Travis. We’re done.”

“Cat.”

“I’m gone.”

“Not letting you leave,” he growled.

“I’m not talking about physically, Travis.” Caitlin felt dead inside. “In my heart. I’ll be done and gone. I’m not letting you back in.”

She walked out and slowly closed the door behind her.

And only then did she allow the tears to fall.

In my heart. I’ll be done and gone.

Caitlin’s words haunted every stretch and every mile of road that brought him closer to Reagan Airport.

Was he doing the right thing? Did he really need to see this guy? To know if Caitlin/Sarah cheated on him while they were married. He would make it up to her. He could win her back again. He didn’t care if it took him an eternity to make her fall in love with him.

He just had to know.

Right?

Travis stewed for a couple of more miles until he saw the signs for the airport.

He’d been confident enough that he could manage the relationship, that he had enough love for both of them.

However, the tone in her voice haunted him.

The light in her eyes died when she looked at him one last time and left the room.

I hate you for making me fall in love with you, for making me trust you.

She loved him.

You get on that plane, Travis. We’re done.

Why did he have to know?

What good would it do?

He was such a fucking idiot.

There was no point in dredging up a past she couldn’t even remember, that she couldn’t defend against. The only thing going to Virginia Beach would accomplish was to torture himself.

But the end result was the same. He loved her .

He was so far gone in love with her that Jase Locke didn’t factor in except to hurt his pride.

And Travis knew that with Caitlin, he didn’t give a fuck about his pride.

He shook his head and laughed at his stupidity.

Porter could screw himself with his “know all the facts” bullshit.

Travis knew what was in his heart, and with sudden clarity he even felt more idiotic.

Sarah never cheated on him. All he had to remember was how she had looked at him; the same way Caitlin was finally looking at him in a way he had craved—before he fucked up big time.

He checked his side and rearview mirrors and quickly changed lanes so he could take the next exit. She was pissed at him and needed to calm down. Besides, he needed time to find the right words to say to her and plan an epic grovel.

Travis decided to head to the BSI offices.

He pulled into his designated spot and noticed a car pull up next to him.

It wasn’t the vehicle he was used to seeing parked beside his in the reserved spaces.

In fact, it was a car he thought had been tailing him earlier, but he’d been too caught up in his emotional turmoil to be alarmed.

Shit. He recognized the driver.

It was Porter’s man Crowe. Before Travis could react, he heard the plinking of glass and a sharp object pierced the side of his neck.

Fuck, tranq dart. He yanked it off, but it had already done its job. He was fading and slumped on the steering wheel, blasting its horn. Glass shattered and he was pulled back into his seat. He heard Crowe talking to him, but it sounded like words spoken in a vacuum. Finally, darkness claimed him.