Page 34 of Irreverent (The Marked Saga #7)

Tessa, Gabriel and my mother were all waiting for me in the kitchen when I immerged from the basement, properly pissed off and at an all-time low in the hope department.

“Let me guess, it didn’t go well,”

said Tessa with an irritating know-it-all look on her face.

“Shut the hell up, Tessa.”

Her eyes bugged out of her head as she watched me open and shut the cabinet doors as I mindlessly searched for something to fill the void inside me. “Jesus, relax. I was kidding.”

Spinning around to glare at her, I barked out, “Do I look like I’m in the mood for your stupid jokes?”

“What happened?”

asked Gabriel before Tessa could answer my rhetorical question. His dark brows were knitted into a frenzy as he tried to decipher my thoughts and emotions from across the room.

“Nothing. That’s the point. He’s just playing games with me.”

I pushed my hands through my hair and then leaned back against the counter. “This is never going to work and I’m running out of time,” I said, dejected, and mostly to myself.

“What do you mean you’re running out of time?”

asked Jaqueline, catching that last bit like a true thorn in my ass.

My head snapped up as I met each of their probing stares. I hadn’t meant to say that last part out loud and needed to back pedal—quickly. “I just mean that with everything going on…I don’t have time to sit down there and play these mind games with him.”

“This was your idea,”

reminded Tessa, appearing to accept my answer as she picked up her cup of coffee and sipped it, though Gabriel and Jaqueline’s inquisitive expressions never faded.

I needed to be more careful of the things I said going forward. I couldn’t have either of them getting suspicious on me and probing into something that was none of their business.

“Thank you once again for the moral support, Tessa.”

“Don’t you have school today?”

she asked in response, as though it had just occurred to her that I was home.

“I’m taking a mental health day.”

“If you keep this up, you’re going to flunk out of your senior year.”

“Like that matters anymore,”

I mumbled huffily.

“What is up with you?”

she asked, examining me a little more closely. “Five minutes ago, graduating high school was one of your top priorities. What changed all of a sudden?”

“Does Nikki and her Son of Doom ring any bells?”

“That isn’t anything new,”

she said, still not understanding where my sudden doomsday attitude was coming from. “Besides, we’re handling that,” she added confidently, as though we already had the victory in the bag. “There’s no need to throw your entire senior year down the drain.”

Little did she know, I probably wouldn’t even make it to graduation. “Save your lectures, Tessa. I don’t need a mother,”

I said, my gaze unintentionally bouncing to Jaqueline who remained cold and expressionless at my words.

Tessa threw her hands up. “Suit yourself,”

she said as she collected her coffee mug and stood up from the table.

“Where are you going?”

asked Gabriel.

“Anywhere Miss Sunshine isn’t,”

she said and then walked out of the kitchen.

Biting down on a nasty retort, I let out an irritated breath of air instead, hoping it would release the ever-mounting tension inside me. It didn’t work.

“If you aren’t attending classes today, we should continue your training,”

suggested my mother, because obviously, she was a sadist and loved to see me writhe in pain.

“Not today, Jackie. Like I said, I’m taking a mental health day.”

Honestly, I didn’t see the point of training anymore anyway. Once I was anointed as the Fourth Horseman, I’d probably lose all my own abilities anyway and instead take on theirs as we activated the Power of Four. Whatever the hell that meant.

She nodded, though it was obvious she didn’t approve of my decision. “I’ll be in upstairs if you change your mind,”

she said unceremoniously and then rose from the table and left the room, leaving me and Gabriel alone.

My gaze fell on him as I let out another uneasy breath. “I really know how to clear a room, huh?”

He moved to the edge of the kitchen island and stopped, as though he could feel the volcano building inside me and was afraid it might explode if he got too close. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Talk about what? My stellar personality?”

“About whatever is clearly upsetting you.”

There was no getting anything by Gabriel. He was always quietly watching me, always on the lookout for my next meltdown, ready to bottle me up when I liquified.

I shook my head. “It’s just…one of those days.”

He studied me, his gaze lingering for longer than needed. “You do know you can trust me, don’t you?”

I snorted without meaning to.

“Is that funny?”

He lifted a questioning brow to me.

“I mean, no offense but I’ve heard that before.”

He thought about it for a moment and then nodded sullenly, as though he agreed that he had that one coming. After another reflective pause, he asked, “Have I ever let anything bad happen to you?”

His question caught me off guard. It wasn’t pushy or prying. It was quite soft and genuine, like he wanted to know how I truly felt on the matter.

“I mean…no,”

I answered honestly because he hadn’t.

His green eyes searched mine. “I know you may not always agree with my approach or the way I do things, but I have always done everything in my power to protect you,”

he said, his voice low and gentle as though giving confession. “I will never stop looking out for you, Jemma. Irrespective of what happens. You understand that, right?”

It was suddenly hard to swallow past the emotion he had elicited in me. “You’re not getting ready to run off and abandon me, are you?”

I teased, trying to break up the tension in the only way I knew how to. “Because it kind of sounds like you might be.”

“No.”

His mouth curved into the faintest of smiles. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Jemma. I couldn’t do that. I only wanted you to know that I’m on your side. Always”

My heart jumped at his heartfelt words. At the end of the day, Gabriel had always been there for me in one way or another—looking out for me and watching my back, and despite the many times he had gone behind my back and dragged my sister into the mix when she was just about the last person I wanted involved, it had always been done with the intention of protecting me. Of keeping me out of harm’s way.

Deep down, I always knew that, but it still felt nice to hear him say it. Especially since he wasn’t big on the whole feelings thing…or the words thing for that matter.

“You’ve already proven that, Gabriel. A hundred times over. I mean, you’ve literally bonded yourself to me because I asked you to,”

I said as I moved across the kitchen to where he stood. “One of these days, I’m going to find a way to thank you for that, and for all the other thousands of things you’ve done for me,” I vowed and then pushed up on my toes to wrap him in a hug.

Gabriel, being the awkward dope that he was, just stood there as I did all the work.

I laughed against the side of his neck. “You can hug me back, you know? I won’t bite you.”

I felt his uncertainty and hesitation as he raised and then dropped his arms several times, as though he didn’t know what to do with them, before finally deciding on circling them around my waist.

The bloodbond buzzed to life as a stream of emotions zipped back and forth between us, making it hard to distinguish his from mine. Love, friendship, concern, loyalty. They all flowed freely between us, comforting me with their presence as his heartbeat thumped against my own. But there was more there. Fear, loneliness, yearning…

Marveling at what I was feeling, and maybe even at the momentary distraction, I dug deeper into the channel, curious to see what else might be hiding there in the private abyss that was Gabriel’s heart.

Unfortunately, I didn’t make it very far.

As if sensing me there, Gabriel gripped my waist with both hands and then drew me away from him, breaking off my little exploratory mission as quickly as it had begun. “Don’t do that,”

he growled lowly.

“I didn’t do anything,”

I breathed out, slightly taken back by the veracity of his order.

He made a face like he knew I was lying and then said, “I could feel you probing.”

My eyebrows shot up into my forehead. “Wow. Really?”

You’d think I just learned a new magic trick with how much that delighted me.

“Yes, really,”

he said and then let go of my waist completely before taking a step back and then crossing him arms. It was almost as though he were afraid to make contact with me now that he knew I was a busy little body.

My wonder abruptly morphed into suspicion.

What the heck was so wrong with me leaning into the bloodbond anyway? He was constantly poking around inside of me and feeling my feelings and never seemed to have a problem with that. Why was it such a big deal when I tried to do the same to him? That is, unless he was trying to hide something from me on purpose.

But what? What could Gabriel possibly be trying to hide from me, and more importantly, why would he feel the need? I quickly made a mental note to come back to this. Operation Excavate Gabriel was now on the agenda. Well, once his defenses came back down, that is.

“My bad,”

I said, plastering an apologetic look on my face. “It won’t happen again.” Not today anyway, I added silently as I turned on my heel and then left the room.