Page 20

"So, is this how it's going to be the whole ride?"

I caught Felix's gaze.

"You're so far away," he said.

There was no mistaking his meaning.

He was seated a few—okay, definitely more than a few—rows up, turned around in his chair, staring back at me. Besides the pilot and stewardess, we were the only two people on the jet . Felix took a seat in the front on one side, and I ended up near the back on the other. Was this on purpose? Absolutely yes.

The problem wasn't that I didn't want to be near him.

I wanted it too much.

With each breath, I fought against the impulse to move closer. I wanted to throw myself at Felix and beg him to love me back. My heart was all for this plan. But my head knew it w as a risk. I had to protect myself, and I didn't want to appear lovesick or needy—even if I was. I didn't want to put pressure on him either and thought he'd appreciate the distance.

Apparently not.

Shrugging, I said, "I don't know what you're talking about," then went back to my book.

I kept my eyes glued to the page.

Felix, however, wouldn't let it go that easy. I felt more than saw him stand and come closer, not stopping until he was right next to me, but I didn't look up.

"Need something?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said and plopped down into the seat directly beside mine. "For you to stop ignoring me."

I sighed.

So much for self-preservation.

"What was that?" Felix asked.

"Had a tickle in my throat," I lied.

"Really?"

"Hmm m. A nd I'm not ignoring you. I'm reading."

I restarted the same paragraph I'd been on for the last five minutes, finally gave up, and turned the page.

"Having fun?" he asked.

"Yep," I said, "tons."

"Pretending to read must take a lot of concentration."

I didn't respond to his teasing.

"Who reads books anymore anyway?"

"I do along with millions of other people . It's fun. You should try it sometime."

"Thanks, I think I will."

Felix plucked the paperback out of my hands.

"What…what are you doing?" I said, gaping at him, caught somewhere between surprised, annoyed, and amused.

"Taking you up on your suggestion."

He skimmed the page, and a grin slowly formed on his face.

"Hey, this is pretty good," he said.

"I know, that's why I bought it," I said with a shrug. "And I didn't mean you should steal my book."

Felix laughed.

I wasn't sure if it was at me or the story.

"What'?" I asked.

"I just can't believe you read this."

"Meaning?"

"It's so..."

"Awesome, entertaining?"

"I was going to say romantic."

Rolling my eyes, I took the book back. " Romance is a widely accepted and respected genre. My cousin Lottie could give you some good recommendations if you want . She works at a library."

"I don't think I've ever been inside a library by choice," he said.

"Trust me," I said. "It shows."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know."

Felix smiled as I stared at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"Because I missed you, princess."

My heart crashed against my ribs, and without thought, I suddenly stood. "Restroom," I said quickly, and Felix's brow furrowed as I hurried past him. When I got inside the bathroom, I closed the door and rested my forehead against it.

"This has to stop," I said quietly. "Just be normal. He's only a guy."

My inner-voice scoffed.

Yeah, the guy you're in love with, it said.

I banged my head a few times against the door, hoping to knock some sense into myself.

Let it go, Aurora.

Even if you're his…

He'll never be yours.

"He'll never be mine," I said aloud.

That seemed to bring my heartrate back to normal, and as I left the restroom, my mind was clearer. Less confused. Felix stood as I approached, stepping into the aisle so I could get back to my seat. I still had to get close to pass him.

Of course, the plane chose that exact moment to jerk sideways . We'd hit a rough patch—one I definitely wasn't expecting . My eyes went wide as I lost my footing, but before I could even begin to fall, Felix was there. Of course, he was. His strong arms came around me, feeling far too good . I breathed him in for a moment then pulled back.

"Thanks," I said, but when I looked up at Felix, his eyes were closed.

"No problem," he bit out.

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

The pilot's voice sounded from the overhead speakers . "Sorry about that," he said. "We 're going through a storm system . Nothing to worry about, but there will be turbulence for the remainder of the flight. Please make yourselves comfortable and fasten your seatbelts."

After doing just that, I glanced at Felix again . His eyes were shut tight . His skin looked ghostly pale, and there was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"You're not okay," I said.

"Worried about me, princess?" Felix said.

I considered lying again, but what was the point?

"Yeah, I am."

"Don't be."

"It's not that easy, Felix . If I could control my feelings around you, I would."

His lips tipped up. "Glad to hear it."

"What do you—"

"I can't control myself around you either."

I had no response to that, and when he opened his eyes, my jaw was still slack.

"Thought you were going to kill me when I stole your book," he said.

"I considered it."

Felix's mouth remained pinched, but his eyes brightened.

"Your cousin was right," he said.

"About what?"

"I like your kind of awkward."

Again, I had nothing.

I remembered Lottie saying something along those lines, but I didn't think Felix would, let alone agree with her.

I like you period , my heart responded.

But it didn't seem like a smart thing to admit since I was actively trying to get over the guy.

The plane jostled again, and this time the lights flickered.

Felix cursed, grabbing onto the armrests so hard his knuckles went white.

"Hey, it's okay," I said, keeping my voice soft.

His breathing seemed faster, shorter, abnormal . Felix looked like he was seconds away from a full-blown panic attack, but he nodded.

"We'll get through this."

I tried to think of something to take his mind off the storm.

"It looks like Gigi spared no expense on the plane or the pilot," I said. "Plus, like you said, she loves you, so there's really nothing to worry about."

Felix didn't release his death grip.

"You know what has me kind of worried?" I rambled. " Senior year. I know it sounds stupid, but the tour changed me. It showed me how much I really love music, being around it, immersed in it, a part of something bigger than myself. I'm scared of going back to school and feeling like my old life is less somehow."

Going on instinct, I took his hand and placed it against the center of my chest.

"Breathe, Felix."

His eyes met mine.

"Try and relax while I talk you down off the cliff." I took a deep breath and continued, " I'm also scared I'll miss everyone, London, Ryker, Santino, Elliot, Hayden, Izzy, Essie, Taylor and her awful snoring. And you," I said. "I'll miss you terribly —even if you can be annoying sometimes."

Felix was quiet, but then he said, "I'm not annoying."

"Only when you steal books."

"Princess?"

"Yeah?" I said.

"I'm afraid of flying."

I tried not to smile.

"I see you laughing at me."

"I'm not," I said to which he scoffed. "It was just so obvious."

Something occurred to me then, and I felt my lips turn down.

"Were you like this on the flight up?"

"Worse," he said . " You weren't here. The weather was just as bad, and t he stewardess threatened to tell the pilot to turn around if I didn't get it together."

"Oh," I breathed. "I'm sorry, Felix."

"I got to see you, so it was worth it."

Felix's eyes warmed as he continued to stare at my face, and I tried not to let my guard down. It was hard around him, though. Always had been . And that was before he came to get me, facing his fear of flying, just to bring me back.

"I hope you'll believe me when I finally tell you the truth," he said.

"About what?" I asked.

"How I feel for you."

I gulped then looked away. "We should try to sleep. Get some rest before the show tonight."

The storm raged outside, winds jostling the cabin, rain pelting the windows. We breathed together for a long time , and eventually, Felix fell asleep. I should have nodded off too, but I was restless, thinking about what he'd said, how even recovering from a near-panic attack Felix was still the loveliest person I'd ever met. And the most devastating.

Case in point…

Softly, slowly, as if drawn by gravity, his head came to rest on my shoulder. His arm went around my waist, his breaths landing against my neck, causing goosebumps . Felix was seducing me in his sleep, and he didn't even know it.

When the jet landed, I hadn't slept a wink.

Felix's head was still on my shoulder.

And I really didn't want to wake him.

The stewardess took one look at us, smiled brightly , and said, "Mr. Cordova, it's time to get up. We landed."

Felix stirred, murmured something against my skin.

"Felix, we're here," I said.

"Five more minutes," he mumbled.

"We might be late for the show."

"Don't care."

"Felix…"

He sighed then sat upright. "Okay, princess, we'll go."

I breathed a sigh of relief mixed with disappointment, and as we walked off the plane onto the tarmac, I could feel Felix's eyes on my back. A familiar figure stood beside a sleek black car. The windows were tinted, and it looked expensive. She looked happy to see us.

"Glad you're back," Essie said.

"Glad to be back," I said.

"You going to stay till the end this time?"

"That's the plan."

As I was getting into the car, she added quietly, "He missed you. We all did."

I swallowed then settled into the back seat . Felix opened the opposite door and slid inside. For a brief moment, we were alone, and Felix looked like he was going to say something. Then Essie got in, started the car, and began driving us to the venue. I kept my gaze fixed on the scenery passing by outside. Mentally, I ran through the concert song list, both to prepare and keep my thoughts occupied. That was why I didn't expect it when Felix's hand covered mine.

A spark raced through me at his touch.

Looking down then back up at him, I gently extricated my hand.

"Pulling away again?" Felix said.

"You're the one who asked for space," I said softly.

"Not this much."

"Felix, I don't know what you want."

His gaze was piercing as he looked at me. "I think that's obvious."

Out of my peripheral vision, I noticed Essie and shook my head. She was very discreet. I knew as HERS's driver, she probably kept several secrets—including the one about Felix and me and our fake relationship. Still…

"Essie can see us," I whispered.

"So?" Felix said.

"I don't want to argue in front of her."

"We're not arguing."

"No, but I also think we should avoid any more misunderstandings."

He studied me. "Do you mean with Essie or between you and me?"

"Both."

"I'm just trying to clear things up."

I shook my head. " Then we shouldn't touch."

"Why not?"

"Because every time you touch me, I want to curl up in your lap and never leave," I blurted.

"Then do it," he said.

"Don't tease me."

"Who's teasing?" Felix gave me an exasperated look as he ran a hand through his hair. "Princess, from the moment I saw you, I've been trying not to kiss you."

"You have?"

"Yeah, it's basically all I can think about."

He reached for me, placing a palm against my cheek.

"Please, Felix," I said.

"Please what?"

I wasn't sure what I meant either.

Please don't kiss me.

Please do.

Please, please, please don't get my hopes up just to break my heart again.

He searched my eyes, but at that moment, the car glided to a stop.

"We're here," Essie said, breaking the moment and saving me from having to answer. "Good luck tonight, you two."

I leaned back, and Felix released me.

"Later , Essie," he said. Shaking his head, he got out of the car, and I felt like I could breathe again.

"Want a piece of advice?" Essie said.

"If it'll help me figure out what to do with all these feelings, then sure," I said.

She turned around to face me.

"Don't let fear put you in a cage," she said. "Do what feels right. Deal with the consequences later."

I waited, but that was all apparently. It was more than enough.

"Thanks, Essie," I said. My world felt rocked by her words. "I'll try."

She nodded, and when I got out of the car, Felix was there waiting. We walked into the venue together. Not touching or talking. I was too in my head for that. Members of the crew were onstage, getting everything ready , while the band warmed up. Izzy was there too, and she was the first to spot us.

"Oh thank goodness," she said, sounding relieved . "Aurora, this wasn't exactly what I meant when we talked about a Ferora breakup. A little too literal."

"Sorry," I said.

She patted my shoulder. " It's fine. Just glad you and Felix are back."

I stepped onstage, and since he'd gone ahead of me, Felix was already there, talking with the band . His eyes were on me even as he spoke to them. S omehow we ended up on opposite sides. Several feet separated us; it seemed like a great distance.

And yet, something in my chest ached for me to cross the divide, pulling me toward him . Maybe I'd read Jane Eyre one too many times, or possibly, probably I'd been listening to Taylor Swift on repeat too much. But as I stared at him, it felt like a string linked us together, heart-to-heart, and I wondered if mine would ever beat the same again after meeting Felix.

Elliot ran onto the stage, breaking our connection . All eyes swung to him.

"I can't find her," he said, sounding out of breath. "I looked everywhere."

"Can't find who?" Hayden asked.

"My sister."

Elliot shook his head.

"London's gone."

Hayden glanced around then said, "Looks like Ryker's MIA too. Maybe they're together. "

"I hope not. They hate each other."

No one corrected him, but I couldn't believe he didn't see the sparks between London and Ryker. When they were in the same room, it was impossible to miss.

"Maybe we should send out a BOLO," Santino said.

Elliot blinked at his friend. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Yeah, Be On the Lookout. You'd know too if you were a true crime expert like me. Focus. We have to find your sister and our drummer. "

"I think only law enforcement can issue a BOLO," Hayden said.

"Ah, okay." Santino shrugged. "I've just always wanted to say that."

Elliot's hands went to his hair. "Can you please be serious for once? My sister is missing."

I raised a hand. "Um, have you tried calling her?"

Their heads turned toward me, and Elliot nodded . "She's not answering."

"Okay, then what about Ryker?"

"Straight to voicemail," Felix said, put away his phone and turned to Elliot. "Why are you so worried? She probably stepped out to get some air."

"Or she might be somewhere she can't hear her phone," I added.

Elliot released a heavy exhale . "Ever since the stalker incident, I worry about her. Constantly. London knows this, which is why w e always text our location and answer each other's calls. " His voice quieted as he said, "This isn't like her. "

"Don't worry," I said. "I'm sure she's okay."

But worry ate at me too.

Izzy walked back inside then. She'd gone out to take a call. Taking in the grave mood, she said, "What's going on?"

"London and Ryker are missing," Hayden said.

"No, they're not."

Elliot stepped forward. "What do you mean?"

"About 30 minutes ago, I saw London walk into the party at the building across the street," she said. "Ryker was behind her, but I don't think she noticed. She seemed upset."

Santino grinned. "Who's up for a party?"

As the others voiced their agreement, we headed to the doors.

It was time to go find London.

And as Essie's words played on a loop in my mind— Don't let fear put you in a cage —I hoped to find my courage and tell Felix my truth. The whole truth.

Even if it was scary.