Page 14

I couldn't sleep.

After the events of the night, it was understandable. But I was tired. My body was exhausted . The hotel bed was comfortable. The room was nice. I had it all to myself, and as I glanced at the clock, it was well past midnight.

But my eyes refused to close.

I just couldn't stop thinking about the fight.

About Felix.

The way he punched that guy…

His hand must be killing him. Maybe I should bring him some ice?

With a nod, I got up, grabbed the bucket, and walked into the hall. I'd just check on him then go back to bed. No big deal. But as I got to his room and lifted my hand to knock, I hesitated.

Maybe he was already asleep.

Felix would be tired too.

I didn't want to wake him and mess up his REM cycle.

Just because I needed to see that he was okay?

Shaking my head, I was about to walk away when the door swung open.

Felix stood there staring at me as I gaped in surprise.

"Thought I heard a noise," he said.

I nodded.

"Everything alright?"

I held out my hands. "Yeah, I just…wanted to bring you this."

He arched a brow. "An empty ice bucket?"

Looking down, I realized he was right. "Oh sorry," I mumbled. "I forgot the ice."

"Princess."

"I'll just go—"

"Aurora ." H e put a hand on my wrist , and I paused. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah," I said and blinked. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're shaking," he pointed out.

Was I?

Looking down, I saw that yes. Yes, I was. My whole body was filled with little quakes.

I shook my head.

When did that start?

"Why don't you come in and sit for a second?"

"I don't want to disturb you," I protested weakly.

He scoffed and ushered me inside. His room was an exact replica of my own.

"Something funny?"

"Depends on your definition ." Felix and I sat on the small sofa. He still held my hand, weaving his fingers slowly with mine . "When you got here, I was about to come check on you."

My breath caught. "Really?"

"Yeah, couldn't sleep."

"Me neither," I said.

Turning our hands, my eyes moved over his bruised knuckles, and I winced.

"Are you okay?"

Felix shrugged like it was nothing . "Yeah."

"But your hand…"

"Will be fine."

I gently touched his reddened skin, careful not to injure him further.

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"Nah," he said, "I've had worse."

Though he delivered the words convincingly, I couldn't stop staring. It hurt me to see him like this, to know I was the cause. I knew he had to be in pain. That man who wouldn't take no for an answer was really to blame. I knew that deep down. But I still felt guilty.

"Hey."

I looked up to meet Felix's concerned gaze.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

Reaching up, I felt the tears on my face and shook my head. "Sorry, I didn't know I was."

He sighed then pulled me to him in a hug. "Don't apologize, princess. You're probably still processing what happened."

The tears fell faster, and I couldn't seem to get them to stop.

"You're okay," he said into my hair.

"I know," I said with a hiccup. "I'm with you."

"Ah, you're killing me."

He held me tighter , and I clung to him. I knew I shouldn't find so much comfort in his embrace, but the truth was, I did. After a moment, I pulled back and wiped the wetness from my cheeks.

"Sorry about that," I said. " Don't know what came over me."

Felix shook his head. "I'm pretty sure I broke that guy's nose. If it make s you feel better."

"It does a little."

"I could break it again."

I gave a watery laugh. " I think once was enough."

He sent me a small smile.

"Felix?"

"Yeah?" he said.

"Would it"—God, I couldn't believe I was even asking this—"can I stay here? Just to sleep?"

He didn't say anything, just rose from the couch, still holding my hand in his and led me to the bed. Taking off my shoes, I got under the covers, and after a few seconds, he turned off the light and followed. As Felix curled up behind me, wrapping his arm around my waist, I felt him release a long exhale.

"You sure you don't need that ice?" I asked, resting my hand over his.

"I've got everything I need right here," he murmured.

My stomach tightened.

"Don't worry, princess. You're safe."

"I know."

And I did.

We weren't on the bus, but somehow, we ended up in the same position. Sharing a bed. Me and the rockstar. I tried not to overthink it—but my mind was full, wondering what Felix could possibly be getting out of this . What was he thinking and feeling? And would I ever work up the courage to tell him my truth—once I admitted it to myself anyway?

Several minutes later, Felix's breath evened out, and I knew he was asleep. So I did what I'd wanted to do since I saw those bruises on his skin . Careful not to wake him, I lifted his hand to my lips and laid a soft kiss against each of his knuckles. My eyes closed, and before sleep finally came, I felt myself fall.

Even harder for him.

#

"Best love song of all time?" Hayden asked.

Santino thought about it a second then said, " Trick question. The answer doesn't exist."

"What?"

"It's a four-way tie between Etta Jame's At Last , Unchained Melody , Your Song , and I Will Always Love You ."

Elliot tilted his head. "By Whitney Houston or Dolly Parton?"

"Either."

"Nah, it's gotta be Dolly for me. Hers is the original."

Hayden shrugged. "I like both."

"Well, we all know your answer," Elliot said with a grin.

"Can't beat The Smiths for weepy love songs," Santino put in.

Hayden shook his head, but a smile played around his lips. " There is a Light That Never Goes Out is Maggie and my song. How could I go with anything else?"

The band made gagging noises, but it was obvious they were all happy for him finding his person.

"What do you say, Felix?"

I paused my playing, pretended to tune my violin, while I waited to hear his answer.

Felix stopped strumming his bass long enough to say, "I'm with Santino. There's too many songs to choose from."

I went back to practicing my violin, then he added…

"But Thinking Out Loud will always be a favorite."

My pulse stuttered because I knew that song. The melody and lyrics would forever be imprinted on my brain. We danced to it last night while the rest of the world faded away. But that was my take as a hopeless romantic. There was no way it could mean as much to him. Right ?

"Why that one?" Elliot asked.

"Good memories," was all Felix said, and I could've sworn I felt his gaze linger on me before moving away.

Or maybe it did mean something.

"I get that. Ed Sheeran's a solid choice," Santino said.

Hayden nodded. " E?"

" Conversations in the Dark by John Legend."

"Good one. Ryker?"

The drummer slanted him a look.

"Favorite love song," Hayden repeated.

Ryker shook his head, his lip curling in apparent disgust. " Love sucks."

Silence met that statement.

"But if I had to pick, I'd say Layla by Eric Clapton ." He paused then said, "Or anything by Celine Dion."

The others groaned or laughed, saying something about his crazy obsession with Celine, but Ryker didn't change his response. This naturally led to a discussion of Titanic and a re-enactment of the scene with Jack and Rose on the bow of the ship (Elliot was Jack, and Santino was Rose). It was all pretty hilarious. Practice was going well, so we were taking a break, but I stayed in the corner and continued to play my violin. When I finished with HERS's music, I moved on to the pieces my cousins and I usually performed . They were familiar. They felt good. And playing always helped clear and calm my mind.

Today, I needed the music.

I'd come to a decision this morning.

In the early hours before anyone else was awake, I got out of bed slowly, so as not to disturb Felix. I stared back at him a moment, taking in his features, how beautiful and peaceful he looked in his sleep. I breathed a soft sigh before going back to my room.

It was no use.

No matter how many times I tried to tell myself this isn't real. Anything with him is pretend. That was the deal. Don't let yourself be blinded by fake love. It didn't work.

To take a cue from Mr. Darcy, my feelings wouldn't be repressed.

They couldn't be.

I'd promised my mom I wouldn't fall for a rockstar.

But I was afraid it was too late.

My pulse quickened when Felix was around. Even when he did nothing but say my name—especially when he called me princess—my heart went crazy. All he had to do was look at me, and I felt tingles race down my spine and warmth spread through my veins.

There was no justice in the world.

There really wasn't.

Because I was almost positive, Felix didn't feel the same.

I mean, how could he?

I was just me. Shy. Introverted. Somewhat talented on violin, but mostly just awkward in life and probably in love too.

And he was…everything I never knew I wanted but suddenly craved more than anything.

Man, I was in deep.

Felix hadn't said anything about me slipping away early this morning. Actually, he'd just said 'Princess', gave me a nod, and then practice started. But I was determined to talk to him.

Even if it ruined everything.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I removed it. There was a new text.

Freya: Have you told him yet?

Unfortunately, I made the mistake of calling her, needing to run my feelings by someone before I confessed . My cousin was the first on my contact list—I also knew she wouldn't let me back out. I was kinda regretting that decision now though.

Me: No.

Freya: Why not?

Me: Didn't get a chance.

Freya: ?

Me: We've been practicing.

Freya: ??

Me: It just hasn't been the right time.

Freya: ???

Fed up with her non-responses, I huffed a breath.

Me: What's with all the question marks?

Freya: Just seeing how many I get to before you woman-up and talk to him.

Deciding to give her a taste of her own medicine, I sent my own question mark in reply.

Freya: Very funny, Ror . Just tell him already.

Me: I'm not sure what to say…

Freya: Then don't say anything. Just go over there and kiss the hell out of him 3

I smiled.

Me: Not sure how the guys would react to that.

Freya: Who cares?

Me: Um, I do. I don't want them to think I'm taking advantage. It was supposed to be a fake relationship.

My phone rang a second later, and seeing her name, I answered.

Before I could say a word, Freya said, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah," I said on a sigh.

"Ror, you weren't the one who came up with the idea to fake it, right?"

"No, Izzy did."

"I thought Felix kissed you that first day, asked you to pretend with him."

My brow furrowed. "That's true."

"Then how could you possibly think you're the one taking advantage of him?" I could practically hear Freya shaking her head. "If anyone's being used here, it's you."

I let her words settle over me.

Then said, "But I don't feel used."

"Yeah, because you're in love with Felix."

"I think I am," I admitted.

"Then for goodness sakes, tell him," she said. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"So many bad things could happen, Frey."

He might not love me.

He might love someone else.

He might pretend to love me back to keep the Ferora craze going.

He might laugh.

He might start treating me differently.

He might stop being my friend.

He…

"I can hear you spiraling," Freya said gently. "But there's no need."

The fact that she knew me so well was one of the reasons I reached out to her in the first place.

"We talked about this, Ror . No matter what happens, you'll be okay. If Felix doesn't return your feelings, that's his loss. At least you'll know."

"Yeah," I said. "You're right."

"And if he loves you too, I'll be your maid of honor, obviously—unless you want to keep it chill and just be partners for life, in which case, I'll be known as the one who got you two together," she said.

Shaking my head, I said, "You're crazy, you know that?"

"I do. But the loveable kind of crazy."

"Hmmm."

"So, what will you do?"

"I'll tell him."

"When?"

"Soon," I said.

"Okay, well, good luck." Freya added, "I have to go. The guy who hit me with the basketball is here to beg my forgiveness. Again."

"Will you give it?" I asked.

"Maybe. He's also my maid for the week. If he does everything I say to my satisfaction, there's a possibility. Anyway, I'm pulling for you, AF."

"Thanks, Frey . You're the best ."

"I absolutely am. Love you, Ror."

She hung up, and I shook my head, wondering how we could be related with her being so confident and outgoing while I was…not.

"What do you think?" Santino said as he came to a stop at my side.

"About what?" I asked.

"The best love song."

"That's hard."

"Ah, come on."

Pursing my lips, I shrugged. "One of my all-time favorites is I Wanna Be Yours ."

His smile brightened. "Arctic Monkeys. Interesting."

"I just think it's romantic."

Especially when Felix covers it, I thought but didn't say.

Had I looked up all his covers and played them on repeat?

Possibly.

"There's something about the lyrics, the meaning behind them."

Felix spoke from behind me, and I froze.

"I agree," he said. "Wanting to belong to someone, to be what they need. There's nothing that screams love more."

Turning around slowly, I met his gaze. "Exactly," I said.

Santino looked back and forth between the two of us then smiled . "Well, I'll just leave you two alone to make heart-eyes at each other."

My cheeks heated at his words, but Felix simply shook his head then turned back to me.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "There's something I need to tell you."

"I'm listening," he said.

"I—"

Felix's eyes were watching me curiously.

I tried again and let the words tumble out.

"I think I like you," I said quietly.

"I like you too," he said.

"No, I…like you like you."

Felix stared.

"I know this was supposed to be pretend, but it just happened. I couldn't help it, and yeah. The truth is I like you more than I should."

That was so not the way I'd wanted to tell him. Everything about it felt juvenile and wrong and—oh God, was he smiling?

"Are you laughing?" I asked.

"No," he said, but the smile grew. Even his eyes looked happier.

"Well, it sure looks like it."

"I'm just taking it in."

"Taking what in?"

"The fact that you like me." Felix grinned. "I mean, like me like me."

Nodding, I said, "Okay, I'm going to go find a cliff to jump off now. If you'll excuse me."

Before I could go anywhere, Felix took my hand in his.

"Hey," he said, and I reluctantly looked up. "I came over to ask you something."

"You could've stopped me at any time," I mumbled.

"Why would I? I like what you were saying."

"Glad to hear it."

"Plus, you're beautiful when you're nervous."

"Yeah, right."

"So, do you want to go out with me?" he said.

Time seemed to stand still. Then everything sped back up, and m y brow furrowed.

"Taylor said we're on our own for lunch." He ran a hand through his hair. Looking up at me from beneath his lashes, he said, "I want ed to take you on a date. If you're up for it."

I opened my mouth, but no sound came out.

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes, but I don't understand," I said finally.

"I want you," Felix said, causing my heart to slam into my ribcage, "to come out with me."

"On a date?"

He nodded.

"Why?"

"Thought it would be nice to get away, spend some time alone."

"Again…why?"

Instead of answering, he just smiled. "I heard there's this Japanese place not far from here. It's supposed to be good. "

Hayden joined us then and said, "Yes to that, I'm starving."

Felix frowned, but Elliot threw an arm around his shoulders. "I'm in," he said and pushed up his glasses, "so long as there's sushi."

Santino gave a nod. "I'm not picky. I just need food. Ry, you coming?"

Ryker shook his head, but then London sauntered through the doors and grinned.

"Did someone say sushi?" she said, locking her arm with mine. "I'm so there."

Ryker stood from his drum kit, tucked his sticks into his pocket, and stepped forward.

Santino lifted a brow. "Thought you were a no."

"C hanged my mind," Ryker said. He glanced at his brother. "So, are we going?"

Felix looked at me then shook his head.

"Guess so," he said.

"Hell yeah," Santino said, "group date."

As Felix took the lead and everyone else followed, London leaned into me and said, "Why does it feel like I interrupted something?"

I shook my head. " You didn't."

" Really? Because Fe looks upset that it's not just the two of you."

At my silence, she threw me a big smile.

"Aurora," she said, "be honest. Are we crashing your date?"

"He asked," I said, "but I don't think he was serious."

Or at least, he hadn't been talking about a real date.

Right?

As Felix looked back over his shoulder and caught my gaze, I couldn't be sure.

What I knew was, three little words would be replaying in my dreams tonight.

I want you .

I just wish he meant it.