Page 74 of Inside Out
“Hell is empty and the devils are here.”
~William Shakespeare
“Bill said it best.”
~Romeo Bradley
One hand went to cup Julius’s head while the other went to his waist. Energy pulsed through Julius’s body making him tremble. I wanted to think it was lust, but the desperation I tasted on his lips was mixed with something else. Fear?
I broke our kiss after several minutes and leaned my forehead against his while I sucked air into my lungs. “Maybe you should run off at parties more often if you’re going to kiss me like that when we reunite.”
“Run off?” Julius asked, pulling away from me. His hazel eyes turned a darker shade of brown as his temper rose. “I’m not the one who hid away with my buddy while leaving me withthosepeople.”
“I’m sorry, love. Were they terrible?”
I shrugged. “Not when Heather was with me.”
“She’s good people,” I said softly.
“Except when she’s trying to fix you up with other men,” Julius said. I loved the flash of possessiveness I saw in his eyes and his fingers flexing against the small of my back.
“That was all Frank. Heather gave up on trying to find someone for me to love a long time ago.” Jules took a shaky breath, and I hated being the reason he was so unhappy. “I’ll fix this,” I said, pulling out my phone from my jacket pocket.
“Who are you calling? The Party Etiquette Police? The Douchebag Collector? If so, they’re going to need a bus to haul all of them away.”
“I’m hiring a Lyft to pick us up. These people have clearly made you uncomfortable, and I—”
Jules took the phone out of my hand and slid it back inside my pocket. “Huh-uh. They’re not running me off. You’ve chosen me. I’m the one you love, and they’ll need to get used to it. Especially, Ted. He’s not going to find himself between your sheets by Thanksgiving or sooner.”
“Jules, what the hell are you talking about?”
“Just a little conversation I overheard between Cybil and Ted while I was looking for the bathroom,” he said. “I’ve caught many snippets of conversation tonight, and the consensus between them is that you’re going through a midlife crisis.” Jules had kept his voice light, but the humor didn’t reach his eyes and his gorgeous smile didn’t greet me.
“Fuck them and the horse they rode here on.”
“Horse?” Jules asked. This time his hazel brown eyes sparkled with mirth.
“Fine. They would’ve arrived in luxury sedans to flaunt their wealth and make up for other things that aren’t as impressive. You’ve heard of little dick syndrome.”
“I’ve heard of short man syndrome,” Jules countered.
“Same logic applies. Overcompensating.” We shared a quick chuckle, but I knew the situation called for more than laughter, and we weren’t leaving the bathroom until I set the record straight. “The only two people here I consider my friends are Frank and Heather. At times, Frank is a little disconnected from reality because of his wealth, but he’s a good man. You don’t find a more warm-hearted woman than Heather. I was excited for them to meet the man I love, but I realize now this isn’t the right setting. The demands of hosting a party aren’t allowing them to really get to know you. I don’t give a damn about what the rest of those people think. This isn’t my scene. You know the real me, Jules. I’m the guy who likes to listen to scratchy records and read literature written more than a hundred years ago. I’m the man who is crazy about you. Let’s just say our goodbyes to Frank and Heather and head back to our hotel. Did you see the size of that bathtub? It’s big enough for two.”
“Backing down from a challenge isn’t my thing, Rome. I’m not saying I want to go out there and pick a fight or flaunt that I’m the man sharing your bed in front of Ted, but… Okay, I might want to rub our love in Cybil’s and Ted’s faces a little bit, but I’m better than that. I’m better than them.”
“You are,” I agreed wholeheartedly. “What is the point of staying when neither of us want to be here? It’s not like our livelihoods depend on our attendance. We both know how precious time truly is, and we won’t get these hours back, baby. I could be drinking wine with you in a tub, touching you, loving you. This isn’t retreating or backing down from a challenge. This is us thumbing our noses at their pompous bullshit to do what we really want. That’s the ultimate freedom.”
I saw the moment when my words sank in because the tension melted from his body, and his eyes softened. “I want to hear more about your life before we met. I want to hear about your life with Peter.”
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know. I just thought talking about Peter might be uncomfortable for you.”
“Not talking about him makes me feel like you’re not as ready to move on as you say. Like maybe it hurts too much. That’s how it was with my dad for a long time. I couldn’t look at his picture or talk about the memories without feeling like someone fed me through a paper shredder. Now, I find comfort in reliving those memories with my mom and Marc.”
I nodded because he was right. I’d gone through those same phases of grief after losing Peter. “Frank took me to his study to show me a new piece of artwork. I thought that was code for wanting to grill me about the new man in my life, but he really did have a new piece of artwork. He’s going on and on about the painter’s genius technique and the raw power in every stroke. I saw an ordinary sailboat riding the waves, so I tuned him out. That’s when I noticed the crude metal sculpture Peter had made for him in shop class during their senior year of high school. I was drawn to it like a magnet and forgot I was in the same room with Frank. I left him yammering about his painting and hoisted the heavy piece off the shelf. None of us come from wealthy backgrounds, but Frank had lofty dreams. Peter bent and shaped a piece of metal to look like a horseshoe and welded it to a base. It’s crude as hell, but it’s Frank’s prized possession. Peter told him horseshoes were a symbol of wealth and prosperity. Frank wanted those things, and Peter wanted him to have them.
“A few years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to look at that statue let alone pick it up. Tonight, I held it in my hands and smiled as memories of conversations about the statue replayed in my mind. Peter wanted him to get rid of it or at least let him make a nicer piece, but Frank only wanted the original one. It was his lucky charm. Anyway, Frank left the room at some point during my trip down memory lane. I don’t know how long I was alone before Cybil and Ted found me.”
“Cybil thinks she saw a spark between you and Ted.”