Page 15 of Inside Out
“Thoughts are but dreams till their effects be tried.”
~William Shakespeare
“Wishing and hoping will only take you so far. Sometimes you gotta take life by the balls.”
~Romeo Bradley
“One salted caramel coffee and a cranberry orange muffin,” said Maegan Miracle, co-owner of Books and Brew, as she removed my items from her tray and set them on the table I’d chosen in front of the bookstore and coffee shop. She and her twin brother had added the outdoor seating in the spring which made it nice on the mornings I brought Dolly with me. “And a biscuit for milady.” Maegan did a cute curtsy before holding out the dog biscuit shaped like a fire hydrant for Dolly to assess.
“She prefers the biscuits shaped like stilettos or handbags,” I teased. “High-dollar diva.”
“A dog after my own heart,” Maegan replied then scratched Dolly’s ears once she gingerly accepted the biscuit. “You know, I probably should’ve waited for you to order rather than assume you’d want—”
“The same thing I get every time?” I waved away the thought then took a sip of my favorite coffee. “Although, I am hoping to meet someone here.”
“Oh, is Howie coming too?”
It was a natural assumption since I’d formed an unlikely but meaningful relationship with the older man after our first chat at the ice cream parlor. He’d adopted a beagle named Bess and we started walking our dogs together every night. Sometimes we even met for coffee, so it made sense she drew that conclusion.
“Good morning,” Howie boomed from behind me as if Maegan conjured him out of thin air. “Look, Bess, there’s your best girl Dolly.” It was true the dogs were best friends. I’d never seen two dogs take to each other as quickly as they did. “Maegan, can I have a black coffee and a piña colada muffin?”
“Of course,” she said cheerfully then retreated inside.
“I’m glad to see you this morning since we didn’t get our walk last night. How was the game?”
“I didn’t see much of it because I worked in the concession stand.” To be honest, the only thing I remembered about the previous evening was Julius—the sound of his voice, the crisp scent of his cologne or body wash, and the way my skin tingled anytime we bumped into each other while assembling food. He consumed my thoughts and made it nearly impossible for me to focus on anything or anyone else. That’s why I made my subtle move. Julius was obviously hesitant to get involved with me even though he returned my attraction. All the wishing and hoping was making me crazy as I tried to patiently give him time to warm up to the idea of us. I needed to know if there was hope or if I should move on.
“You look wound tight this morning, Rome,” Howie said, breaking into my thoughts. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed distracted on our walks. I’m not boring you, am I?”
My heart broke right then. “Howie, I’m sorry if I’ve given you that impression because it’s the furthest thing from the truth. Our friendship means the world to me, and our walks keep me sane.”
“Man trouble then?” He’d leaned forward and lowered his voice. He didn’t do it because he found the subject awkward nor was he ashamed. We’d spent hours talking about the different experiences we’d had as gay and straight men. What he knew about gay people were stereotypes perpetuated in television and movies, and he was eager to hear what I had to say. I listened to him talk about the way he was raised and understood how prejudices and ignorance were spread from generation to generation. Howie was proud he and his wife raised their kids to be more open-minded. His lowered voice was his way of protecting my privacy.
I chuckled and tilted my head as I rolled his question around. “Something like that. I invited him to meet me here for coffee, but I doubt he shows up.”
“Is it someone I know?”
“He lives locally, but we haven’t talked about him,” I replied.
“Is it the new pediatrician? You should hear the single ladies crying because Dr. Love is gay. You’d make a handsome couple.”
“No, it’s not him, but thank you.”
Howie narrowed his eyes, and I could tell he was rolling it around in his mind to determine which eligible bachelor caught my eye. “That hunky fireman?”
“We have a hunky gay fireman living here?”
Howie laughed and nodded. “He’s a big bruiser though.” My friend’s face turned bright red when he realized how I could interpret his comment. “I meant height and breadth of shoulders. I, uh, didn’t mean…”
“I knew what you meant,” I assured him. I saw a charcoal gray Honda Accord park by the curb down the block. Could it be? That was a common car and a popular color… My heart accelerated when the driver’s door opened and Julius stepped out. I had a moment to study him before he saw me, and the turmoil etched on his handsome face tugged at my heartstrings.
Sensing my distraction, Howie turned to look down the sidewalk. “That him?”
Yes, my heart shouted. I was too dumbstruck to speak and could only nod my head.
Howie turned back to me just in time to see my confirmation. He scooted back his chair and started to rise until I stopped him by placing my hand on his arm. “Let me introduce you.” I waved to get Jules’s attention and was happy to see a warm smile replace his troubled expression.
“Hello,” Jules warmly said when he reached our table.