Page 66 of Inside Out
Ellie looped her arm around Clara’s shoulders. “I think she was going to say amazing.”
“Or thoughtful,” Curtis added.
“Julius and Curtis will provide feedback on musicality. Ellie and Clara, you’ll give me your thoughts on stage presence. Sound good?” The three teens nodded while Jules smiled his approval. I wished for the hundredth time that day we were at his home or mine so I could lean forward and kiss him without repercussions.
I kept expecting some sort of retaliation from the POS group, but so far, they’d remained quiet. I wasn’t foolish enough to think I’d heard the last of them, but I would take advantage of the peace for as long as I had it. That meant I’d keep my lips to myself and not go borrowing trouble.
We had posted audition signups once we’d worked out a production schedule. I don’t think any of us were expecting a fourth of the student body to sign up. Even then, I figured several would change their minds by the time auditions rolled around. Kids lived in the moment and a month to them was like eighteen months to everyone else. Still, I had to plan auditions based on the number of kids who had signed up, so I allowed for four nights. I sorted the signups by the role they were trying out for and made a firm schedule so Jules and I could see sixty kids a night. I allowed for fifteen auditions per hour and scheduled a dinner break at the midway point. Having three extra sets of eyes and ears was really going to help.
I wasn’t surprised most of the kids wanted to audition for the three lead roles of Alexandra, Diego, and Tiffany. There were also more than a dozen supporting roles for their parents, classmates, and teachers, so I decided to alternate audition slots between the various roles to keep things fresh. I didn’t want three Alexandra auditions in a row followed by four Diegos then five Tiffanys. They would all start to sound and look alike if I did that.
Armed with audition sheets, the five of us kicked off the first night of tryouts. In addition to acting and singing abilities, I was looking for stage presence and passion for the role. Which meant, I had one very important question to ask each person about the role they were auditioning for. The first person to take center stage was Mark Vaughn, a freshman.
“Hello, Mark. First, we’d all like to thank you for auditioning tonight. I see you’ve chosen to audition for the role of Diego Sandoval. In a few words, can you tell me why you think you’re a good fit to play him?”
“The name assigned to me at birth was Marissa. I know what it feels like to look in the mirror and not recognize the person I see. It never matched who I was on the inside. I understand Diego’s struggles even if they weren’t the same as my own. I think that’s the point of this play.”
Mark’s words were like a fist to my gut, knocking the breath from me. It took a few seconds before I could acknowledge his answer. “Very true. Thank you for sharing. You can begin reading the script when you’re ready.”
Mark closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly exhaled the air from his lungs. When he reopened his eyes, I could see he was completely in character. Mark looked distraught and somehow disheveled without doing anything to his clothes or hair. It was the power of presence I was looking for, a command of expression that conveyed everything he felt without uttering a single word. Then he opened his mouth and blew me away.
“Who is this face in the mirror that the world truly doesn’t know?”His voice quavered with emotion.“They say they love me, but how can this be true when they don’t know who I am? Will they still want me if they know the truth? Will I still be the son they adore? Will they continue to brag about the things I do that make them proud, or will Diego Sandoval cease to exist? If Diego is no more, then who will I be? The queer kid? The outcast? The one without a family? Without a home? I want to have faith, but I’m afraid. I would pray for God’s help, but he supposedly hates me. I’m not ready to show the real me, so I’ll keep on being the one everyone loves until I find the courage to be the one they might all hate.”
I was ready to applaud, but that would’ve been unprofessional. I didn’t want the kid leaving here thinking he would get the part. Hell, we had two hundred and thirty-nine kids left to audition. “Thank you, Mark. Are you ready to sing a portion of Diego’s solo?”
“Yes, sir.”
Julius hit play on the remote that turned on the sound system hidden backstage. It was very high tech which was why no one entrusted it to my care after word spread like wildfire about my incident with the copier. Once Julius’s music began to play, I forgot the world existed until Mark began to sing with so much emotion. I felt tears welling in my eyes and glanced over to catch Curtis’s reaction. This role was so personal to him, and I wanted to see how he felt about someone else singing his song. Curtis didn’t bother to hide the tears sliding down his face. Clara wrapped her arms around his shoulders and leaned into him as she cried too. Ellie just looked like she was completely gobsmacked. Julius reached beneath the table and squeezed my knee, pulling my attention to him. He was enchanted, and it was okay that I wasn’t the one who put the look of unbridled joy on his face. That moment right there with the four of them was the reason I loved theater so damn much.
“Thank you for such an inspiring performance, Mark,” I said after he finished.
“Thank you for the opportunity.”
We sat at a table below the stage in the cafetorium as more students made their way to the center of the stage and performed for us. I could tell when one of the kids was especially moved by something they saw on stage because they would gasp, sit eerily still, or feverishly write notes on the sheets in front of them. As for the adults on the panel, I reached for Jules’s hand beneath the table a few times, and he bumped his knee into mine while we calmly made notes.
I’d placed an order to have pizza delivered during our break before I knew dinner for two needed to be dinner for five. Luckily, I’d ordered an extra-large, and there were plenty of slices to go around. The delivery guy had brought enough paper plates and napkins, so we were all set.
“We couldn’t,” Clara said when I offered her a slice.
“We shouldn’t,” Ellie said.
“I’ll eat their share,” Curtis said, diving in for a slice.
“What’s everyone drinking?” Jules asked on his way to the vending machine.
“We couldn’t,” Clara said again, sounding like a broken record.
Curtis snorted and said, “Ellie wants a Mountain Dew, Clara wants a Dr. Pepper, and I’ll take a Sierra Mist. Thanks, Mr. S.” He turned to his friends. “It’s rude to reject a kind offer.”
“It is,” I agreed. “Eat up. We don’t have a lot of time before the next round of auditions start.”
“Yes, sir,” Clara said.
“I think Mark Vaughn is the perfect guy to play the role of Diego,” Curtis said after he consumed two slices and looked longingly at the remaining pizza. Julius nudged the box in his direction and Curtis helped himself.
I agreed with him but said, “We still have three days and dozens of potential Diegos left to audition. We need to give the other kids a fair shot.”
Curtis nodded. “I agree with you, Dr. B. I’m going to keep an open mind and give the other kids a fair shot, but my gut tells me Mark is the one.”