Page 17 of Inside Out
“Mostly,” he agreed. “I’m new to this school, and I want the conversation about me to reflect on my skills as an educator, not my sexual orientation or who I’m dating.”
“Fair enough.”
“There’s also the issue of race,” Julius said. “It shouldn’t matter in this day and age, but then again, it shouldn’t have mattered when I was growing up and getting bullied left and right either. The crap my parents went through just for loving each other was ridiculous,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m not afraid to battle hard for the things I want, but I need to make sure the person is worth the fight.” I wanted to be worthy.
“I’m sorry to hear you were bullied as a kid, Julius.” I decided to throw caution to the wind and cover his hand where it rested on the table. I didn’t trace his soft skin with my thumb; I just let him feel the weight of my hand and learn my touch. “I’m not afraid of what people will think or say,” I said earnestly. “Something inside you clicks as you get older and living for what others think no longer is important. As much as I love to please others, I care most about pleasing myself. God, that must sound selfish.”
“It sounds smart and like something we should all do at an earlier age.”
Howie came out of the coffee shop, approached our table, and took Bess’s leash from my other hand. “I hope you guys have a great day. It was nice meeting you, Julius. Rome, give me a call or shoot me a text if you want to walk the girls tonight.”
“Sounds good. I’ll see you later,” I told the older man.
“It was nice meeting you too, Howie,” Julius said warmly.
Howie whistled as he walked away, making me smile.
“Have you been friends with Howie for long?”
“No, and we didn’t get off to a very good start, either.” Then I told Julius about overhearing his conversation with Irv. He threw his head back and laughed at the Dr. Fancy Pants remark. “Don’t think you can start calling me that now,” I warned.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Julius replied, but his wry smile said otherwise.
“His friend, Irv, explained to me that Howie hadn’t been himself since his wife died, and grief is something I know well. Howie apologized to me the next time he saw me, and we struck up a conversation about life after losing someone special. From there, a beautiful friendship developed.”
Julius searched my eyes, and I could tell he was curious about the special person I’d lost. He might’ve asked me, but Maegan approached the table with his chai latte and muffin. Julius pulled his hand free of mine to accept his breakfast.
Had he asked, I would’ve answered, even though it might not have been the best topic to discuss on our getting-to-know-you-over-coffee-and-pastries date. I knew in my heart Peter was looking down and smiling on me. He would’ve been the first person to give me a verbal kick in the ass and demand I didn’t grieve my life away. He would’ve wanted me to live well enough for both of us.
Because I wanted to keep the tone light, I shifted gears away from heavier topics to focus on the one thing we certainly had in common. “How’s the music coming along for the play?”
“I’m finished,” he said after taking a sip of his latte. “These kids are crazy talented, aren’t they?”
“Absolutely,” I agreed. “Does the play director get to hear the music early?” I was dying to hear what he came up with.
Julius blushed and took a deep breath. “That’s always the hardest part.”
“Letting others hear the music you create?”
“Yes. It’s so personal.”
“I didn’t mean to put pressure on you,” I assured him.
“I have to let someone hear it sooner or later. That’s the purpose of creating music, right?” Julius looked at his latte like it was the most interesting thing he’d ever seen.
“Yes, but it doesn’t have to be me. I’m sure Clara, Ellie, and Curtis would love to be the ones who hear it first. It would only be fair.”
He slowly lifted his head and met my gaze. The morning sun made his hazel eyes look gold. “I would like for it to be you.” Excited energy pulsed through my blood because I knew what a big moment this was for us. He was trusting me with something precious. Julius pulled his phone out of his pocket and his AirPods out of another. He handed the AirPods to me, and I slid them into my ears while he worked on his phone. When he finished, he laid it in front of me. All I had to do was tap the play button on his phone and I would hear pieces of his soul.
I kept my eyes locked on his while I tapped the phone to begin. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t the soulful sound of a cello and piano creating the most beautiful melody I’d ever heard. I closed my eyes and let it wash over me. I knew exactly which scenes the music went with and thought about the lyrics I had read. I heard the struggles the characters faced and the love and acceptance they found. It was pure perfection. I felt tears well in my eyes and opened them so Julius could see the way his music impacted me. He swallowed hard then smiled in relief.
Each song was more beautiful than the one before. “How?” I asked in a thick voice once the last note faded.
“I recorded the cello parts first and then the piano. Then I used software to put them together,” Julius replied.
“I meant how can any one person create anything this beautiful? This is just…stunning, Julius. Can I please have a copy of the recording?”
“I will make a copy for each of us once the kids approve it. They might want to make changes.” I shook my head.