Page 20

I escaped about forty minutes ago and managed to hide in the laundry room downstairs in Nico’s building.

I’ve been crouched and hidden, peeking through a window that looks out onto the street, to make sure Luka didn’t follow me and that Nico wasn’t right there lurking in the shadows.

I can only just make out what is going on at street level because the laundry room is beneath the building.

The windows are small, but it’s okay; it's helping me feel safer.

But the longer I wait, the more anxious I get, because the only thought spinning in my head is that I have no idea where to go.

I can’t sit here, hiding in the laundry room, forever.

When I see Nico’s car pulling into the underground parking lot, I feel ill.

He’s home now. Does he know I’m gone yet? Is Luka awake?

Guilt pushes through me, thinking about how I stole the keys from Luka and how angry Nico will be with him. It’s not Luka’s fault, though; it’s Nico’s for trapping me in there. Even his sisters could see how wrong it was.

My anxiety thickens.

It’s now or never, Serafina. You have to make a choice. And once it’s made, you have to stick to it. I’ve already been hiding for too long. I should have run straight out of the building and just kept going. Somewhere, anywhere—just move.

I’ve never done this before, though. I’ve never had to escape from anything or anyone before. I’ve never been kidnapped and held prisoner before.

This is crazy and wild, and I have no idea what I’m doing.

I climb out from behind the machines and run up the stairs to the foyer, my eyes darting in all directions, waiting for someone to leap out at me.

I jog through the wide glass doors and out into bright daylight, squinting against it.

My mind is racing a million miles an hour as I stand on the street outside Nico’s apartment block.

Left? Right? Straight?

Where the hell am I going?

I have nowhere to go except home. That’s the first place he will think to look for me, but I have things that I need there if I’m going on the run.

Should I go back inside and hide? Should I call the police? Should I try and find Jade? Would she help me?

Tears spring to my eyes and I turn left, change my mind and turn right again.

My throat tightens and I can’t breathe.

The air is too thick. The sunlight is too bright. It’s too cold. My head is spinning.

I turn back towards the building, wanting to shout for help, but there isn’t anyone to call.

Panic surges again and I clutch at my chest, which is spiking with pain.

Dropping to my knees, I hit the pavement, and agony shoots through my legs.

A dark figure comes running towards me, but I don’t know if it’s good or bad. I don’t know if I’m going to be okay. I don’t know if this person is with me or against me.

I try to fight the black weight of fear and pain, but the world spins around me and pulls me down, down into darkness. My thoughts fade and I fall to the ground, unconscious.

***

I blink, trying to stop the bright lights from stabbing at my eyes. Am I still outside? No. I’m in a bed. I’m warm. I’m comfortable. My body aches, though. It’s like my muscles are bruised and my limbs are heavy.

I blink again and groan, lifting my hand to shield my face from that piercing light.

“Serafina, hi there, welcome back. How are you feeling, young lady?”

A man is talking to me. I don’t recognize his voice or the smells around me. Chemicals. Detergent.

“Where am I?” My throat is dry, and my words crackle when I speak.

“You’re at St. Mary’s Hospital. You’re doing great, though. Everything is going to be fine. And don’t worry, they are fine, too. You’re healthy, everyone is healthy—I think you just had a moment of stress? Do you remember what happened? Have you eaten anything today?”

The doctor leans over me, holding a stethoscope against my chest and tilting his head as he listens to my heartbeat.

Everyone is fine? Who? What are you talking about?

“Your heart is nice and healthy. Your blood pressure has returned to normal. Feeling faint in the first trimester is actually really common, but you were gasping like you couldn’t breathe.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Do you know what those are?

” he chatters on, and what he’s saying slaps into me in a wave of shock. Trimester. What?

“A baby?” I mutter in disbelief.

“Yes,” he says, his brow furrowed. “Did you not know you're pregnant?”

“I didn’t,” I whisper in shock. “Who brought me here?”

“Luka, is he the father…?” The doctor is looking at me with his face comically empathetic. I want to shake him and demand that he just tell me the important stuff and stop talking so much about everything else.

“And—the baby, it’s healthy?” I ask nervously.

“Yes, very healthy. You have nothing to worry about,” he smiles broadly.

“Please don’t tell anyone. I would like to be the one to tell the father.”

“Do you want me to get him?” His brows rise so high he looks like a character from a comedy.

“No, I just need to think for a second. I’m so tired,” I sigh.

“You rest for as long as you need. Ring that bell at your side there if you want to call for a nurse.” The doctor marks something down on my chart and then clips it to the base of my bed before he leaves.

My head is spinning, not like I’m going to pass out again, but from absolute shock. I’m pregnant ? This is unbelievable.

What am I going to do?

Gently, I rest my hand over my stomach. An intense fear washes through me. I realize it's a fear of losing my baby. Of this tiny creature being in danger.

“I’ll never let anyone hurt you,” I whisper, fighting tears.

Someone walks into the room, and I quickly pull my hand away from my stomach as I look up.

Luka smiles tensely at me. His face is taut with stress.

“Hey, Serafina. Are you ok?” he asks.

He shifts nervously from one foot to the other, staring down at me from the side of the bed. His hair is a mess. He looks tired.

I push myself up a little, resting against the back of the hospital bed. “I’m okay. The doctor said that you were the one who brought me in?”

“I was. I came out of the building, and you were right by the doors.

You looked pretty bad. When you passed out, I just picked you up and brought you straight here.

What happened—what did the doctor say? Fuck, I got such a fright, I thought someone had done something to you—like um, poison, or something—“

“No, no one did anything. The doctor said I, um—he said I had a panic attack.” I decide it’s the story I should stick to for now.

“Fuck. That’s horrible. I’m so sorry,” he says quietly.

I press my lips together. I’m angry about everything.

I’m scared and unsure about what to do; I don’t know where to go or what is going to happen after this.

But I know that shouting at Luka isn’t going to solve anything.

I’m too tired to fight, anyway. It’s like the exhaustion is swimming in my bloodstream, and I need to sleep for a week to recover from it.

Luka pulls out his phone and glances at the screen, reading a message.

“Nico will be here in fifteen minutes. He was looking for you at your apartment. Actually, I was on my way to look there, too, but luckily, I parked out front, so I found you there,” he says tightly, waiting for me to be angry or shout or react.

I nod. “Thanks again for helping me. And for letting me know about Nico being on his way.”

Nico can come. This is a public hospital. It’s not like he can drag me out of here without attracting a lot of attention. The only way I’m leaving is of my own free will, going where I want to go. It’s my choice now, and he’s going to have to accept that.

“I’m going to wait outside. Unless you want company?” Luka gestures towards the door and then towards the chair in the back of the room.

“I’m okay alone,” I say without looking at him.

I need to think.

I suddenly have a little life growing inside me—a life that I am responsible for. My choices are no longer just my own.

What happens from now on affects them, too.

Luka disappears through the doors. I hear a chair squeak as he sets the bulk of his weight into it. One of those plastic hospital chairs, no doubt.

I close my eyes, and without realizing it, I fall asleep.

When I wake up, Nico is standing over me, his face etched with worry. Half of his shirt is untucked, and his hair is a mess. Dark shadows under his eyes tell me he hasn’t slept.

“You look like shit,” I remark, letting my tired eyes drift over him.

Sighing, I close them again. Any second now, he’s going to start lecturing me about escaping. He’s going to be furious about how stupid I was for trying to get away, and he’s going to go on and on about how he knows what’s best—I’m too tired. I don’t care.

“Sera, Luka said you had a panic attack. And when I spoke to the doctor, he kept saying you have to rest for a few days. He said you are exhausted—“

I bite my lip, opening my eyes again to look at him.

Where is the angry Nico I was expecting?

When my eyes meet his, though, I don’t see even an ounce of anger.

All I see is fear. What’s going on? Did something else happen? Why is he behaving like this?

“What happened?” I ask, instinctively reaching up to touch his cheek. “Why do you look so bad?” The tiredness in me is momentarily pushed aside as worry for him rushes through me; he looks like he’s been in a war.

“Are you kidding? I couldn’t find you. I thought they took you. I was terrified,” he blurts out, a little angry, but he bites it back, and I realize the fear was over losing me.

My heart aches to be in his arms, but I push it away.

I have to worry about my baby now.

“Sera, I get it—you’re going to keep trying to get out.

I can’t force you to stay with me. But if you stay in your own apartment, it won’t be safe.

Can you come back to the penthouse with me, just for tonight?

I’ll leave you with a set of keys to prove I’m not locking you in there.

By tomorrow, I will have arranged a safe house for you.

You can stay there until this is over, and after that you can go wherever you want.

” The last few words are dry and quiet when he says them, as though it's painful for him to tell me that.

His eyes are locked with mine, waiting, desperate.

I chew the inside of my cheek, watching his expression, searching for any trace of a lie.

All I see is worry.

“Just tonight,“ he pleads again. “In fact, if it makes you feel better, Jade can come and stay with you, and I won’t even be there.”

He takes my hand and pushes a set of keys into it. I recognize them. They are the keys to his penthouse. He’s being serious. He wouldn’t give me the thing I need to escape if he wanted me to stay a prisoner—surely?

“I’ll come and stay tonight. You don’t have to arrange for Jade to be there. I don’t mind you being there, Nico.”

I close my hands around the keys. I want to trust him, but I’ll feel safer if he leaves me with these.

I’m so tired right now, and I’m fully aware that my apartment is not the right place for me to be, especially after what the doctor told me.

I’ll take tonight, get some decent rest, and tomorrow my mind will be clearer.

I can decide what I want to do in the morning.

Nico is smiling, his entire face lifting with the relief of my words.

“Thank you,” He says, leaning down to kiss my cheek.

I should turn away from his kiss, but the moment his lips touch my skin I want him. I want him to hold me and make me feel safe again. I want to be wrapped up in him, laughing and joking and talking about the future. I want to go back to the moments before I knew everything I don’t want to know.

I need to tell him what the doctor told me.

It wouldn’t be fair to keep it a secret from him. He has a right to know, because this is his as much as it is mine.

But now isn’t the right time.

Maybe later, when we get home. Maybe tomorrow.

Nico helps me check out of the hospital and wraps his arm around my waist as we walk to the car.

I lean against him because it comforts me and because I’m too tired to do anything else. In brief moments of connection and intimacy, it’s easy to forget what he’s done. And who he is.

On the drive home, though, I’m lost in thought.

I’m so scared about the future and the new responsibilities I have.

Looking over at his face, my body is filled with tension.

How will he take the news?

Will he be happy?

Does he even want children?

I look forward again.

I’ll figure it out.

No matter what he says, I know I will love my little baby with all my heart. I’ll keep them safe.