Page 150 of Incisive

Without Leo, I wouldn’t have Jordan, and I’d be the most miserable sonofabitch in the world. With nuclear codes.

And that would really fucking suck.

CHAPTERFORTY-ONE

The next morningis controlled chaos. Jordan’s scheduled the entire morning so we have time for a shower, my PDB, and light breakfast before heading out. I know Jordan’s also arranged to have staff stow the fixings for a special dinner in our private kitchen while we’re gone because he’s going to cook for us tonight.

He’s also arranged for them to add a bottle of champagne.

This evening will be a private celebration for the three of us. Once we’re tucked into our safe refuge we’re not emerging until sometime tomorrow. The outraged media whirlwind can spin around us while we’re temporarily oblivious to everything else.

I’ll savor the peace while I can because I know Sunday afternoon will be filled with taking calls both congratulatory and angry.

I’m doing my best not to worry about what my parents will say.

Jordan, Leo, and I depart in the Beast for the facility, and I do my best to avoid meeting Jordan’s gaze during the ride. There’s a knowing twinkle in his eyes I’m honestly shocked Leo hasn’t picked up on yet. I worry if I stare at Jordan for too long I’m going to start grinning.

Then Leo will absolutely know something’s up and at that point I’m not certain I could keep the secret.

With the big day finally here I’m downrighteagerto do this. To make it official.

To makeusofficial.

The ride to the facility takes nearly forty minutes and when we arrive I do my best to pull on my President Woodley face and go through the motions. I make it through the tour of the facility and giving my speech somehow without trying to rush things along.

The next hurdle for me is personally meeting and chatting with the staff, clients, and their families who are currently in attendance. It’s a hurdle because I don’t want my anxiety over what’s coming next to make it seem like I’m not genuinely engaged in talking with them or not giving them my full attention.

The whole time, Jordan closely shadows me as he always does, apparently already knowing everyone’s names and introducing them to me in turn as we work our way through the crowd. Leo drifts on the periphery, near me and the detail fully aware he’s part of my inner circle, but blending in with the detail and looking more like he’s one of them than actually withme.

As the time for the hike draws closer my nerves are barely hanging on by a thread. Anxious doesn’t even come close to describing my emotions. It feels like the stress will burn a hole right through the center of my gut as we approach the starting point for the hike. I’m well aware of the press covering this and I know I need to stick to the plan.

Jordan’s done a fantastic job making sure everything is set up for me to propose to Leo at the end of the hike, which for me will come at a scenic overlook very close to where the Beast and the rest of my motorcade will be staged for a quick getaway. The rest of the participants will then continue on and circle back to the facility. The group accompanying me were, obviously, carefully screened and vetted. Once I leave, more people will be allowed to arrive and they can then continue the rest of their day’s activities without the impediment of my presence hampering activities.

Forcing myself to stay focused and present I chat with as many participants and their families as I can during the pre-hike festivities and take pictures and selfies with everyone who wants to. Because I legitdocare about them and the work this charity does. I can only hope the good they do here isn’t eclipsed by the lede that POTUS proposed to his secret partner and,whoa, turns out he’s gay, too.

Yeah. I guess that is too much to hope for, isn’t it?

That I’m feeling my survivor’s guilt even more strongly today than usual is a footnote and doesn’t deserve any of my energy. I can beat myself up about that later since I always seem to find time to do that. If they handed out medals for emotional self-flagellation I’d easily sweep the gold in all categories presented.

At least it’s a gorgeous day, sunny and comfortably warm enough for shorts but not so hot I’m sweating like crazy. Many of the trees are bare, or what few leaves still cling to their branches are brown. There’s no breeze and in the still air the scent of pine trees and approaching winter drift around and coat everything in a fine patina of nostalgia and impending winter holidays around the corner.

The promise of settling in for winter ahead of a rebirth next spring.

It’s a beautiful, perfect day for a proposal.

Then I pull up short as I catch sight of one very familiar face among the hike participants. “Tommy?” Despite his greying beard and scruffy hair, I’d recognize that man anywhere. “TommyConner?”

He grins and I sweep over to him for a bear hug that nearly knocks him off his feet. Apparently not too difficult to do, since he’s leaning on a cane.

“How you doing, Cap?” he asks.

“No one told me you were going to be here! It’s great to see you!” I finally step back. I haven’t seen him since Landstuhl, in Germany, the hospital we were shipped to after we were injured. He was discharged and sent home sooner than I was and we lost touch years ago.

Maybe I lost touch more than he did. Admittedly, I was pretty horrible about that because of my guilt over the circumstances that led up to it.

And the fact that I survived at all.

Jordan wears a pleased smile where he flanks me on my left. “Lt. Conner and his husband are joining you on the hike today, Mister President,” he tells me. “He’s on the charity’s board of directors.”