Page 12 of If the Stars Align

All I can muster is a sheepish smile.

Three weeks into dating, I told Chris I was ready to have sex. I surprised myself—I always thought I’d wait until I was in love. But I was curious. Plus I never dated in high school and felt like I had some catching up to do. Maybe I wanted to catch up to Dex, I’m not sure. We’ve never talked about it, but I assume he’snota virgin.

I doubt it was Chris’s first time, either. As soon as I gave him the green light, he grabbed a condom from the back pocket of his jeans, like he’d been waiting expectantly the whole time.

“Sunny, that’s so exciting!” Mia says, turning toward me at a stop sign. “How’s the sex? Is he good in bed? Oh my god, I shouldn’t even be asking you that, I’m sorry—you don’t have to tell me. Only if you want to!” She attempts to suppress a squeal.

“It’s great,” I say with a bashful grin.

But I’m lying.

It’s not what I imagined at all. It hurt a bit at first—I was prepared for that—but I thought that, with time, it would start to feel good.

It didn’t. It still hasn’t.

Although he’s a great kisser, sex with Chris is quick and anticlimactic, for me at least. I keeptryingto enjoy it. But the pleasure never comes…

And neither do I.

So I fake it. Because Chris is a nice guy. And he’s into me, and—the sexhasto get better at some point, right?

“Well, I’m extremely happy for you,” Mia says as she pullsinto my mom’s driveway. The lights are on, which is strange because my mom told me she’d be at work.

“You deserve a great boyfriend, Sunny. I know you’ve wanted one for a long time,” Mia continues softly with a tilt of her head.

I smile and look down at my lap, then back up at her again. “How are things with you and Evan? Still good?”

Mia’s been dating Evan Chen (whose house was the setting of the infamous spin-the-bottle party) since freshman year of high school. They’re madly in love and adorable together.

She smiles. “Better than ever. Thank god we’re both at OSU. He’s in Hong Kong right now visiting family, but he’ll be back soon.”

“You two are the cutest,” I tell her.

“Well, let me know if you change your mind about the party tonight,” Mia says, giving me one of her extra-tight squeezes.

“Will do. Thanks again.” I get out of her car, grab my things, and head to the front porch while Mia drives away. As I’m searching my purse for my keys, my mom opens the door.

“Hey, Mom! Weren’t you supposed to be working today?” I give her a hug. “I thought that’s why you couldn’t pick me up at the airport.”

“I just got home, maybe ten minutes before you,” she explains as she grabs my suitcase and we make our way inside. “You know how unpredictable my schedule is.”

I let out a small grunt of acknowledgment as I lock the door behind us and let my heavy backpack fall from my shoulders onto the tiled floor.

“Ice cream?” my mom asks as she makes a beeline for the freezer.

“Rocky road, please—thanks,” I yell from the foyer as I kickoff my shoes.

“So how do you think you did on your exams?” she asks when I join her in the kitchen a minute later. “Did poli sci go okay?”

She’s busy scooping and doesn’t see me shake my head. I’m not surprised she’s interrogating me about my finals within minutes of my arrival, but that doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed. I’d bet good money that the Dexters aren’t grilling their son about his grades right now. They’re probably grilling a delicious chicken dinner in their backyard.

I sigh before I answer. “I think I did well. I studied hard and felt prepared.” I take a seat and, when she sets our bowls on the table, I immediately dig into a mound of gooey marshmallow.

“Oh, good,” my mom says with a relieved smile. “When will you have your grades back?”

“In the next few days. Don’t worry, I’ll let you know as soon as I get them,” I say before swallowing a huge spoonful of ice cream. I squeeze my eyes shut. Brain freeze.

“I know you will, sweetie,” she replies, but I can tell she’s already onto her next thought. And unlike me, she’s barely touched her ice cream. “It’s just that Northwestern Law is so competitive, so we need to make sure your application stands out. Shouldn’t you be doing something besides babysitting this summer? It’s probably too late to get an internship, but maybe you can volunteer somewhere…”