Page 20 of Hush

Online Nowblinked at him.

He hesitated.

What was he doing? What on earth was he going to say to this guy? Maybe if he was younger and they met in person somewhere, he’d offer to buy him a drink.

Yeah, right. He’d never go up to a strange man in public. He was beginning to see the allure of apps like this. That ever-present fear—is he or isn’t he? Interested in men, friendly, nonviolent, homophobic, offended by his very existence?

But he still didn’t know what to say.

Start small. What would he say if he saw him at the coffee shop?

Tom clicked on the chat button and typedHi.

He waited.

[No]came back.

No? What did that mean? He frowned.

I’m sorry?

[NO. No to you. No face pic. A dog, really? Nice metaphor, bitch. Just no.]

Tom sat back, stunned.

A new chat popped up. He clicked over to it.

[Are you so ugly that you have to put a dog pic up for your profile?]

He couldn’t breathe.

She’s my Basset Hound.

[You could at least post a picture of your body. Something that would make it worthwhile. I mean, I can close my eyes if your face is ugly, but if you got nothing else going for you, then…]

He clicked out of that chat.

He scrolled back through the main screen, looking at the tiles of men. He found a guy about his age, smiling into the camera, looking friendly. He wore a sweater that Tom knew he had hanging in his own closet. He clicked on his profile, and then on the chat button.

I’m new to this. Is everyone on here so… forward? Rude?

[Sorry]

He smiled. Finally. He could just talk to someone. Take an ice pick to his wall and chip out a small hole. He just wanted to talk to someone, anyone, and not feel so lonely for a half hour.

[I’m only into twinks. Not into old guys.]

Tom closed his eyes. He bowed his head, his chin touching his chest.

A new message notification sounded, a short drumbeat. He almost didn’t want to click it.

[Looking for men for PnP orgy. BB, breeding, and lots of ]

He frowned. What was an eggplant emoji—

Oh.

[Daddies wanted for hot, eager twinks.]