Page 61 of House of Darkness (The Fallen Star #1)

ESTRELLA

The bar room buzzed with conversation, but it was a cacophony that faded into white noise against the whirlwind of thoughts in my mind.

I sat next to Roman at the head of our makeshift table, my fingers tangled with his, the weight of my new ring heavy against my skin.

It was a seat of honor—the tsarina’s seat.

I was fairly certain that cheers and shouts of approval had erupted from the other generals as we entered and Roman pulled me into this position, but honestly, I didn’t hear them.

The tsarina. I had been so consumed by what this ring signified for my relationship with Roman that I hadn’t stopped to consider what it meant for me.

I didn’t deserve this seat, their cheers, or the ring on my finger.

Placing me in the role of tsarina was just giving an acolyte whore prettier jewelry.

I barely knew how to be a person, let alone how to rule.

Roman’s thumb brushed over the back of my hand, grounding me in reality. His expression was laced with concern, brows furrowed and lips pressed tight. Are you alright?

I don’t deserve to be the tsarina just because I’m sleeping with the tsar.

His lips formed a frown. Warm tendrils of darkness spiraled up my arm where our hands met.

I’m only tsar because I killed my father, love.

If anything, you deserve this more than I do.

You’ve helped rebuild this town, you have goals, and you want to fix this world.

Our people will be fortunate to have you.

It took me a moment to digest his words. Regardless of how he came to power, he had been groomed his entire life to rule. He understood the economy and the intricacies of his people. I knew nothing.

Do you regret saying yes? The hurt in his tone sliced through my thoughts like a hot knife through butter.

Absolutely not. I responded without hesitation. No matter what lay ahead, I would not regret accepting his proposal. I wanted to be tied to him in every conceivable way. If we perished in this war, I wanted to do so knowing we belonged to each other.

His shoulders relaxed at my words, but I was pulled from our conversation by Sorin’s raspy voice. “Can you two stop talking like that? It’s rude.”

He smirked and winked at me, causing heat to rise in my cheeks.

Things had shifted between us since the battle.

He spoke to me with respect now, and his gaze no longer wandered.

He was still strange, but I considered it progress.

I looked around the table for the first time, truly taking in my surroundings.

Roman’s makeshift war planning table was hastily set between us, a worn map pinned to its surface.

Everyone was present, including Ylva. We had mostly patched up the walls, but little else had been done to permanently repair the house since Enso wanted it burned to the ground once we departed.

“Estrella was saying she doesn’t think she deserves the title of tsarina,” Roman remarked.

I shot him an incredulous glare, but before I could retort, Isabella’s sweet yet commanding voice rose above the din. “That is the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I’m just an acolyte. I know nothing about ruling, Bells,” I murmured.

She crossed her arms, her beautiful face twisted in a stubborn anger that made me want to cower. “I was just an acolyte too, but when the opportunity to make a difference was presented to me, I took it. Are you honestly going to tell me you don’t want the chance to make a difference?”

“But—”

Her chair scraped loudly against the rough wooden floor as she shot to her feet.

“No buts! What about everyone else? Catina was just a girl who dreamed of love but was left for dead; Razvan was just a sick boy who fantasized about adventure; Sorin and Roman were just children looking for family. Even Enso was the second youngest in his family, thrust into a position of power too early. Are you saying none of us deserve our positions?”

I gaped at her, at a loss for words. There was no rational argument against her point.

She was right. Wasn’t this exactly what I had wanted when I awakened from that darkness, realizing how wretched the world was and how helpless I was in fixing it?

As tsarina, I could incite real change and help both acolytes and humans alike.

After all… I glanced at the vampires around me.

My family, yet also a reminder of humanity’s enslavement.

The entire ruling cabinet consisted of vampires responsible for the well-being of humans.

Predators ruling over their prey. I could be the first step in changing that.

Didn’t humans deserve a chance at freedom?

It didn’t matter if I felt ready; I needed to rise to the challenge.

A gentle warmth brushed against my temple. Roman had pressed a kiss there, a tender touch that sent butterflies fluttering through my stomach. “As I said, our people will be fortunate to have you, and I’ll be the happiest man alive with you ruling by my side. What do you say, Your Highness?”

I smiled, my eyes fluttering shut. “Let’s set the world ablaze, my love.”

“And watch it burn,” he purred.

“Is that ever going to stop?” Enso grumbled, grimacing at our display of affection.

“I doubt it,” Razvan replied with a bemused chuckle.

“The uncomfortable sexual tension before was easier to tolerate,” Catina added.

I blushed, realizing we had quickly become that couple who couldn’t be around others. “Aren’t we supposed to be discussing the new information?”

“That was the plan, if you two ever stop groping each other,” Catina retorted.

I stuck my tongue out at her, and she smirked in return.

Our relationship had improved since my rescue, especially as we collaborated on plans for our acolyte rehabilitation store.

It was a shame Edward had slipped through her grasp.

Knowing what I did now, the ghosts of his touch haunted me, a trauma I doubted I would ever escape.

Though Codran had hurt me, Edward was just as much a monster and deserved a painful end.

“Codran revealed that Mihal has already won over the Pantera House and is currently negotiating with the Azu House. They’ve established a stronghold in Cacera now,” Roman announced.

“We all know what will happen if they gain the support of the Panteras and the Azu. Those are the two largest Houses, controlling roughly half the land and resources in the world. We cannot let him win over the Azu. Have we been in contact with Mami?” Enso asked.

Razvan nodded. “I can send a letter to her immediately.”

“We should mobilize you there with a small squadron of warriors, just in case they aren’t friendly,” Isabella suggested.

“I can send four of my soldiers with him; it would be wise to have a Fj?llr?v presence,” Ylva added, her bare feet resting on the table as she slouched back in her chair—the picture of relaxation, though her eyes and ears remained perked forward.

“After the execution. I want everyone here for that; it will present a united front,” Isabella stated.

Enso rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Then we need to schedule the execution soon. Mihal already has an advantage; we can’t afford delays.”

“The day after tomorrow is the full moon; two days after that, we’ll host the execution. We don’t want it too close to the full moon, or that could complicate things,” Roman said.

“What about the town?” I interjected. We had made considerable progress in the past week, but it would be a long time before it was fully repaired. They still needed us.

“We’d do more harm than good if we kept our armies here during the full moon. We need to disperse for now,” Roman replied gently, his thumb brushing over my hand again, even as I frowned.

“We should send some support after the full moon; that would give them a full month of aid, and they should be mostly rebuilt by then,” I proposed.

Isabella smiled knowingly at me. “You and I can work on the logistics of that. I’m sure we can spare a few soldiers to come help after the full moon.”

I nodded. “And what about the other Houses? If Mihal has already reached out to the Pantera and Azu Houses, shouldn’t we contact the rest?”

Razvan nodded. “Yes, I’ll draft letters for the remaining Houses tonight to be sent out first thing. Sounds like I’m going to be busy for the next few months.”

“We can each take a House and reach out to them. It’ll go faster that way,” Roman suggested.

“And what of the full moon? We have girls at the house, Roman. They won’t feel comfortable with you there,” Catina pointed out.

Roman turned to me, a gentle smile curving his lips. “I’d like the night with my tsarina. We can set you up with them in a hotel in the city. You and Enso have the best control among us, and they’ll feel more at ease with a woman present.”

“Alright,” Catina said, then added, “but can you stop looking at her like that? It makes me want to throw up.”

Roman chuckled. “You’re welcome to leave if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“It makes all of us uncomfortable,” Enso chimed in.

I ignored them all and focused on Roman, that flicker of heat and love in his eyes nearly consuming me, as it always had.

The thought of having one night to revel in my engagement and forget everything else felt heavenly.

For the first time, I was grateful for that pale disk in the sky and how it affected vampires.

It was like a brief respite before the world ignited in flames.