Page 35 of House of Darkness (The Fallen Star #1)

My stomach twisted, and I fought the urge to recoil.

His words cut deeper than the metal pressing into my rapidly healing skin.

A freak with the power of evil, doomed to push everyone away.

A scream tore from me, incoherent and violent, and I slammed into him again.

This time, I landed a punch to his lower gut and threw him to the sand. I threw myself on top of him.

“Been sober three fucking years,” he sneered, “and I guess now’s as good a time as any to fall off the wagon. I’m sure your mother would be proud.”

My teeth ground together so hard I thought they might crack. I hurled a punch directly at his face, but he evaded it. “Fucking stop!”

“I’ll stop the second you do. Every time you fuck up, I’ll be here to remind you exactly what you’re doing,” he hissed.

Sorin threw me off and scrambled to his feet, his cold gaze piercing through me. My vision swirled and the edges of him blurred. I struggled to my feet, but the sudden movement made the room spin. I doubled over and vomited.

Sorin crossed his arms, a scornful look on his face. “Real fucking impressive. You know what’s really sad? The girl loves you. It’s plain as day. For someone who reads minds, you’re remarkably fucking oblivious.”

I gripped the barbed wire fence to steady myself.

My hand tightened on the wire, tearing into my flesh.

She couldn’t possibly love me; she would’ve responded…

Sorin continued, “But you don’t deserve it.

Not if you’re going to keep pulling this shit.

No girl deserves a man who gets blackout drunk and runs off whenever there’s a problem—a man that’s weak. ”

His words hit home. I was too weak, regardless of how strong my power was.

Too weak to stop Leonidas, too weak to save my mother or any of the acolytes hurt because of me.

I didn’t deserve any of it—any of her love or light.

Not after everything I had done. I had been kidding myself in imagining a future of love and softness.

Monsters didn’t get a happily ever after.

My power built like a toxin ready to be spewed.

Blackness began sloughing off in sheets and Sorin’s eyes widened.

“Don’t you fucking do it,” he warned, glancing around the room.

He wasn’t afraid for his own safety; he was worried I’d reveal my identity to everyone in this bar. Unfortunately for him, I didn’t care. He’d hit on the truth I was trying to drink away, and now we’d both have to deal with the fallout.

My power shot out like a sound wave, hitting Sorin in the chest with enough force to send him flying backward.

He crashed into the fence with a deafening noise.

The impact wrenched the wooden posts from the floor, tearing them like a whip across the arena.

The barbs struck me before slamming him into the far wall.

“Fucking hell,” Sorin barked. He peeled himself off the barbs, blood trickling from where they had impaled him. I groaned, pinned to the floor by barbed wire and overwhelmed by too much wyne.

A rough hand grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me out of the debris violently. “You two are done. Don’t come back.”

The bouncer’s breath smelled foul, like wyne and expired fish. I flinched as a wave of nausea hit me, and I barely noticed as I was dragged out of the bar and thrown into the street. Sorin quickly followed, hands raised.

I crawled to my knees and rocked back. Tears fell before I could stop them. “I couldn’t save her. She loved me and endured him for me, and I couldn’t fucking save her. Everyone I love gets hurt or leaves.”

I buried my head in my knees and begged for the spinning to stop. “I don’t deserve any of it. I’m just as fucked up as he said I was. Just a weapon. But I fucking want it, Sorin. I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

“Come on, we’ll stay in my hotel room for tonight,” he murmured, his arms wrapping under my armpits and hauling me off the ground with a grunt.

The world spun, and the tears didn’t help. I stumbled over the cobblestones as he pushed me onward. “I don’t deserve this. You should leave me here.”

“I’m not fucking leaving you,” Sorin snapped.

We made our way through the streets until we reached the inn where Sorin had been staying.

I stumbled, and he shoved me along. The entry was quiet, and I got into the room with little incident.

The booze settled over me like a toxic fog, making it hard to see the bed, but I stumbled toward it.

Sorin growled and yanked me into the bathing chamber instead.

He pointed to the tub. “Get in.”

I obliged, practically rolling in. Without bothering to strip me, he turned on the faucet and doused me with ice-cold water.

“Fucking hell—” I moaned, but he cut me off.

“Only sober vampires get warm baths.”

I groaned but leaned back in the tub, staring blankly at the spinning ceiling. “I got drunk at the Fj?llr?v estate too,” I whispered, unsure why.

“I know. I have correspondents everywhere. We should’ve had a conversation then. I just hoped you wouldn’t do it again.” Sorin grabbed my hair mercilessly and shoved my face under the faucet, not letting go until I was dripping with icy water. I yelped at the shock to my senses.

Blood and dirt swirled into the drain. God, I was disgusting. I groaned, fighting to hold back the nausea climbing up my throat. My tears returned with renewed tenacity. “I’m fucking pathetic.”

“No, you’re not. We’re going to get through this just like we did last time.”

I flinched at the reminder of the last time he had to pull my drunk ass out of a bar. Three years ago—just before my coronation. He dumped a cup of ice water over my head, and I hissed.

“I don’t know why you put up with me,” I sputtered.

“You’re my life brother. Not in blood but in soul. You’re stuck with me until the devil himself pulls us under.”

The water ran clear, and Sorin turned off the faucet. He flopped into the tub opposite me. “Your mother’s death wasn’t your fault, nor were any of those acolytes.”

“I could’ve stopped him.” I lifted a shaky hand to my face, blocking out the torchlight.

“The only person to blame for their deaths is Leonidas. You’ve got to let that guilt go, or it’s going to eat you alive.”

“People leave, and if they stick around, they get hurt. My mom, Bella, Razvan, you, the—”

“—don’t go there, Roman. None of that was your fault. My life got better with you in it, and I’m sure Raz and Bella agree. And your mom would be fucking heartbroken if she knew you were still blaming yourself for her death.” Sorin sighed and got to his feet. “Come on, let's get you to bed.”

I nodded through the tears and let him help me out of the tub.

He tossed me a pair of sweatpants. Arms crossed, he spoke again.

“You can’t let this guilt ruin your chances of happiness, brother.

I won’t let you. You’re going to prove that we both deserve it.

That regardless of the past, we aren’t too far gone. ”

I tried to process his words through the pounding in my head. Once I was clothed, I crawled to the bed’s edge and climbed in. “I’m scared, brother.”

Sorin snuffed the lights and flopped down next to me. “Aren’t we all?”