Page 42 of House of Darkness (The Fallen Star #1)

My darkness engulfed the throne room. With no glass or wood to shatter, the very floor began to crack beneath my palms, branching out like roots and splitting the throne in two. Codran was thrown off-balance and stumbled backward, screams from our enemies echoing as darkness overtook them.

I needed to find her and tell her how sorry I was. Nothing else mattered. It wasn’t my hands—it wasn’t, that had hurt her, but I was to blame nonetheless. It was my fault. I crawled forward, my eyes desperately searching the darkness for her.

It was as though my subconscious sensed her because Estrella was bathed in a circle of light that protected her from my darkness.

She thrashed in pain, her screams ringing through my ears as though it was the only sound in the room.

I coughed, blood spraying from my lips, and forced myself forward even as my hands slipped across the blood, sweat, and grime soaking the floor.

A boot landed on my back and a bolt of pain shot through my wing.

Codran had pinned it to the floor with his blade and shredded through it like paper.

I groaned through it and dug my talons into the stone, trying to pull myself forward regardless.

I was losing too much blood to properly heal, my pathetic body unwilling to do what I wanted it to.

The weight on my back lifted. My shaking head turned to see Sorin on top of Codran, the pair devolving into a mass of snapping teeth. Arms tucked under my armpits and heaved me to my feet.

“Roman, you with me?” Catina asked. She smacked my cheek, and I forced my head up. “We need to grab Estrella and fall back. There are too many of them.”

Estrella. I stumbled toward her but coughed again, spraying a mist of blood.

This fucking pathetic body. I snarled and slammed my hand to my chest, pouring my darkness into the wound.

It felt like boiling acid being poured on my insides, but I grit my teeth to stifle the screams. Bit by bit, I used my power to pin the ragged pieces of my wound together so it could heal faster despite the blood loss.

“Let’s get her and get out of here,” Catina demanded.

No, that wasn’t right. There were four girls.

Estrella would never forgive me if we left them behind, and I wouldn’t forgive myself.

As my body began to finally stitch back together, I regained some of my senses.

I stepped out of Catina’s hands, stumbling before catching myself.

“He has acolytes in the basement, Cat. Three of them.”

Horror spread across her face. She scanned the room, gazing over the swarm of Bursuc vampires that filled the room. “Fuck, fine. Get your girl and get out of here.”

I didn’t wait to see what she did before I spun and tore to Estrella.

Catina wouldn’t leave those girls behind, she would rather die trying to get them out, and right now I had only one concern.

I quickly tore her chains apart and scooped her into my arms. The screams and clash of metal around us faded to nothing.

The smell of blood and burning skin was erased by the soft smell of lilies.

There was only her—her pain, my failures.

“I’m here. You’re safe. I’m so sorry,” I sobbed into her ear, rocking her in my arms. She smelled like him, but I could feel her, as if my body would know her anywhere, no matter how he tried to hurt her.

Her beautiful, starlight hair fell through my fingers like silken thread.

Her heart still beat in her chest. She was real. I could feel her. I had found her.

My relief was short-lived as her fingers twisted into my shirt, tearing at the fabric. “It burns. Please, stop the burning. Help me!”

Tears blurred my vision. “We’re going to fix this. We’re going right now.”

“No, no, no! KILL ME!”

“It’s okay, doll.” I struggled to speak as I sank into her mind, cradling it gently even as her pain crashed over me like a tidal wave. I had sworn never to use my powers on her again, but I couldn’t bear to watch her suffer. I choked back my sobs, focusing on calming my mind before I took control.

“Shh. It’s okay. Go to sleep. Forgive me, Estrella. Sleep.” My voice emerged in rough, barely coherent whimpers. A ragged sob escaped me as she went limp in my arms.

Isabella’s gentle aura brushed against my side, shielding my exposed back—always having my back.

“I didn’t want to do it, Bells. I didn’t want to take away her choice like that. I just couldn’t stand to watch her suffer…” My words dissolved into incoherent mumbling.

“It’s okay, love. We need to get out of here. Can you do it?”

Right. I tore my gaze from her and looked across the room.

A battered Sorin and Razvan were shoulder to shoulder with a handful of our remaining soldiers, holding back a sea of Bursuc rebels.

Enso and Catina were nowhere to be found, hopefully having snuck away to find the other girls.

Hopefully they hadn’t been caught. We needed to get out of here, now.

The idea of letting them go free made me want to scream, but my family’s safety had to come first.

I stood with Estrella cradled in my arms. For the first time in my life, I ran from the bloodshed.

The next day passed in a blur. The panic and adrenaline that had driven me faded into a dull ache of anger and worry, and the symptoms of sleep deprivation began to take their toll. Though vampires don’t require as much sleep as humans, my neglect was starting to show.

It didn’t matter—I couldn’t sleep now. Not while Estrella fought for her life. The nurses had set up a chair for me by her side, on the condition that I stayed out of their way. I obliged; I couldn’t bear to slow them down.

Estrella remained mercifully unconscious due to my manipulation.

She wouldn’t want to be awake for this. The nurses rushed in and out, bringing fresh bags of donor blood.

They worked tirelessly to pump out the venom and replace what had been lost to save her from the curse of vampirism.

Hours passed before one of them finally paused to inform me she would survive.

“You’re fortunate you brought her in when you did. Another few hours, and there would’ve been nothing we could do.”

I nodded, the word “fortunate” stinging.

Estrella was fortunate that, despite being tortured for over a week, I had managed to get to her early enough.

I seethed with self-hatred, frustration a bitter taste in my throat.

I had been scurrying around the city while this was happening to her.

Another nurse tended to the chain of bite marks on her limbs and the wretched black mark on her neck.

Everything in me ached to pull her close and never let go. She couldn’t get hurt if she stayed in my arms, though I didn’t deserve her touch. I would understand if she never wanted to see me again, even if I wasn’t sure I could live with that.

At the end of the second day, the lead nurse instructed me to take Estrella home. “It would be best if she woke up somewhere familiar. There’s not much else we can do for her.”

It was early morning when we returned to the castle, and my wings threatened to buckle from exhaustion.

I didn’t bother to wake anyone before heading to her room and settling her in bed.

At least she would wake up surrounded by her plants and things she loved.

I debated whether to change her out of the hospital gown but eventually decided to.

She wouldn’t want to wake up in unfamiliar clothes.

I dressed her in a warm nightgown, my hands catching on every injury—the physical manifestation of my failures to the woman who trusted me. My jaw tightened, and my eyes stung, but I refused to cry. I didn’t deserve to cry.

Leaving her side for only a moment, I grabbed her brush and a damp towel.

I worked through the knots in her starlight hair.

I gently wiped the towel over her face. The hospital had sponged her off, but she was still stained with blood and grime.

She didn’t deserve to wake up like that.

It also gave me an excuse to touch her—to make sure she was actually here and safe.

The door creaked open behind me, and my body tensed with anxiety. I turned with a snarl, ready to spring at the threat. Razvan stood at the door, his expression flat at my aggression. “Shush, I brought gifts.”

Razvan balanced five different plants in his slender arms. I might have chuckled if I wasn’t so exhausted. I took two and helped him find places for them in the already crowded room.

He stopped at Estrella’s bedside, crossing his arms as he looked at her. I took my post beside him, now facing the door in case anyone else entered. “I thought she could use some new greenery for when she wakes up. Do you think five is enough?”

“Any more, and her room will be a jungle.”

He laughed. “True.”

A dense silence fell between us, and Razvan’s jaw tightened. His hair was tied back in a tight bun, his usually neat clothes ruffled, exhaustion lining his eyes. He must have been worried about her.

I finally broke the silence. “How are the other two?”

One of the girls had died when Catina and Enso fought their way out.

Another innocent girl lost to this monster, and because of our failures, he was free to do it again.

The predator in me wanted to hunt him down, but the hand I now held chained me in place.

I would never leave her undefended again.

“They’re as good as they can be. Traumatized, of course,” Razvan responded.

I nodded past the stone in my throat. Of course they were. Their system had failed them—I failed them—and because of that they would never be the same.

“How are you holding up?” Razvan asked.

I grit my teeth and gestured roughly to where Estrella lay. “I’m not the one you should be asking.”

“And yet, I am asking you,” Razvan replied gently.

“It doesn’t matter. I messed up, and she paid for it.”

“One’s hindsight is always clearer than foresight. You cannot blame yourself for what happened.”

Razvan was usually my voice of reason, the calm in a house full of hotheads. It was one of the many reasons I brought him in, but right now, his rationality made me want to scream.

“I should have known. I’m the tsar, yet a traitor infiltrated my house because I was busy sulking over a girl who didn’t like me back. Maybe I’m too immature for this, and Estrella clearly isn’t safe with me.”

He hummed thoughtfully. “I wouldn’t agree with any of that. You are a good leader, Roman. I’m eager to see what you do in power, and I’m glad to stand by you while you do it.”

His eyes trailed back to Estrella, and I followed his gaze.

“And I don’t think Estrella would agree with you either.

She’s going to wake up surrounded by a family that loves her and a man who has proven he would kill and die for her.

If I know her as well as I think I do, she’ll bounce back from this and be even fiercer than before. ”

I said nothing. I wasn’t sure what I’d say if I spoke. Though she would never admit it, I was sure a part of Estrella would always blame me, and she had every right to.

Razvan sighed. “You should at least shower and sleep for a few hours. I can keep an eye on her until you come back.”

I shook my head. “I’m not leaving her, especially with Codran still out there. Now she’s a target.”

“Roman, you look like you’re about to collapse. You won’t be any help to her if you continue like this.”

“No.”

“Fine, but you’ll need to eventually. Just call for me when you’re ready.” He kissed Estrella’s forehead before walking out.

Quiet settled over the room, broken only by Estrella’s weak heartbeat and unsteady breathing. I knelt beside the bed and let my head fall, tears finally breaking free and trailing down her battered skin.

“I’m so sorry.”