Page 25

NINE

Suzie

‘And tell me what the ending of that word might look like?’ I ask the class.

‘It’s got another e and an s, Miss,’ the boy answers.

‘Can you tell me why?’ I say, my pen hovering over the smartboard.

‘Because it’s a lady word and there’s more than one of them.’

I laugh under my breath. ‘Feminine noun but yeah, excellent…’

‘Josh, Miss.’

‘I’ll get there with the names eventually.

Très bien, Josh.’ I think he smiled at me and that today is a win after the largest baptism by fire you could imagine.

Because imagine you’re being baptised in all that fire and you also have one hundred and twenty children you have never met before watching, judging and waiting to be entertained at the same time.

But Josh has saved this day, so I will give him an achievement point and hope that means I will be his favourite teacher, forever.

‘And with that, let’s pack up, folks. Dictionaries back where you found them, please tuck those chairs in. ’

The kids do as they’re told. There’s still a silence that descends over the room because I’m new and it’s the first day back, but to be fair, I expected worse with Year 10. I wait by the door and exhale loudly, waiting for the bell.

‘Long day, Miss?’ one girl asks, her hair bound tightly into plaits, the skirt perhaps three inches too short. I think her name is Poppy or maybe it’s Polly. There are too many names to remember, there really are.

I nod. ‘First day too so I’m a bit frazzled.’

‘Time to go home and get the rosé out?’ Josh, next to her, says.

I laugh. ‘Possiblement. How was that by the way? The class? Was it OK?’ I ask, hoping their judgement about my teaching isn’t too harsh.

‘You’re cool,’ the girl says, looking me up and down.

‘Anything was going to be better than Monsieur Flock-It,’ Josh says.

‘Pardon me?’ I ask.

‘It was pronounced Flock-ay,’ he says, waving his hands about, ‘but truth is he was French, thought a lot of himself and he constantly smelt of wine.’

‘I believe that’s stereotyping,’ I tell him.

‘Ain’t a stereotype if it’s the truth.’

The classroom door open, the girl peers her head around to see the class down the way, also waiting to be dismissed.

I daren’t look because as luck would have it, the person teaching in that classroom is the last person I currently want to look at.

I could literally hear him through the walls.

The low rumble of his voice, the gales of laughter from his clearly captivated students.

‘Isn’t there a new teacher in there too, Miss?’ the boy asks me .

Please don’t blush, please don’t blush. ‘I believe there is. I only met him this morning.’

‘Jacinda says he’s quite fit. He looks like that actor from that thing.’

He looks like Aaron Taylor-Johnson if she really wants to know, but I won’t say that out loud. ‘No comment…Poppy, isn’t it?’

‘It is, Miss.’ She glares down the corridor at the person waiting by the door. ‘They think a lot of themselves, that Spanish lot.’

‘Oh, is there beef?’ I say.

‘Oui, beaucoup de boeuf,’ Josh says, laughing.

‘They not like us.’ And then, in an attempt to appear cool and with it, I may rap.

Like Kendrick Lamar. Shit. Please find this funny instead of cringe.

There’s laughter. I can do laughter if it’s at my expense and I win them over. ‘You down with Kendrick, Miss?’

‘Of course.’ Before I can do any more harm, I am literally saved by the bell.

‘à vendredi, au revoir tout le monde. Have a lovely evening,’ I announce to everyone, as they start to file out of the room, at least 70 per cent of the room acknowledging me as they do.

Thank you, Kendrick. Like I say, small wins.

I stand there, close my eyes and exhale softly.

He’s in the next room. Carlos. The man you thought had got away.

But he didn’t. There is literally a wall that separates you.

Yet he’s also not who he says he is and that feels like the biggest of red flags.

I guess I lied as well though. I look down at my phone to see my phone ringing.

‘Holy shit balls, please tell me you’re still in the building. Are you OK? This is mad.’

It’s Beth. I’ve barely looked at my phone all day.

I’ve bounced from classes to line manager meetings to mandatory lunchtime duties and when I did have time to eat my lunch, to my shame, I ate it in the storage cupboard in my classroom because I thought if I went to the staffroom and saw Charlie/Carlos then I would actually die of embarrassment.

‘I’m still here. I’m sorry. It’s been a day,’ I say, trying to keep my voice down in case he can hear.

‘It’s him, isn’t it? Carlos is Charlie.’

‘Yep.’ It’s horrible to even admit that much out loud.

‘You don’t think he’s some weird stalker who followed you here?’ she gasps.

‘Well, I didn’t think that before but thanks, Beth.’

She laughs. ‘I’m sorry, this isn’t supposed to be funny. Also…and don’t hate me…but do you remember when we were in Mallorca and I thought he looked familiar…’

‘Yes…’ I say slowly.

‘Turns out I had met him before. On his interview day, he couldn’t find the toilets,’ she admits sheepishly.

‘BETH!’ I shriek, immediately remembering I’m trying to be quiet.

‘Don’t hate me. I’m so sorry. So many people come in and out of this place. And I forget things. I left my son in a shopping trolley once and nearly drove away.’ I want to laugh but this all feels completely ridiculous. ‘Let me come to you now, I can bring biscuits?’ she tells me.

‘No, I have a department meeting.’

‘With…?’

‘Yes. I’m going to have to sit across from a man whose…’

‘Dick…’

‘Do not finish that sentence,’ I shriek. ‘We are in a school, Miss Callaghan,’ I chastise her. But all I can hear is laughter.

‘I’ve seen him naked, Beth,’ I whisper.

‘And? You’ve not met our PE department. They’re particularly feral. Let me know when that meeting is over. I’ll come and give you a hug. Love you.’

She hangs up. And now all I have at the forefront of my mind is Charlie’s dick, his completely naked body.

In the many, many times I’ve thought of him since Mallorca I used to relish that image, it used to bring me joy but now?

Now it would seem that for the next academic year, I’ll have a constant reminder of someone I was incredibly sexually intimate with.

Like so intimate. The things that man did.

A shiver goes up my spine and I try and regain a sense of normality.

‘We thought we’d come in here, Suzie?’ a voice comes from the door. It’s Lee standing there with a notebook tucked under his arm and behind him, the figure of someone familiar. Hi there, I was just remembering what your dick looked like.

‘Yes, please come in…’ I tell them. ‘Is it just us?’ I ask. ‘I had hoped the rest of the department would be here.’

‘Oh no,’ Lee tells me. ‘I thought as you were both new, I could just run you a few things on the books for the half term. Just us today so you can get to know each other. You both have similar work histories so I think you’ll fit together well.

’ I glance at Charlie, who has a big grin on his face.

Yes, we’ve fit together before. But I drew a line.

I drew a line because I barely knew the man.

I didn’t even know his last name let alone his professional qualifications.

Lee goes up to my computer to bring up the school calendar.

I sit at a desk and Charlie comes to sit next to me.

Seriously? How do I sit at this table so I don’t have to look at him?

Is it too much to ask him to face the wall?

I look up. He puts a few blue biros on the desk.

They go with your eyes. Stop that now, Suzie.

‘So first days for both of you. How did it go? Any feedback?’ Lee asks. I’ll admit to quite liking Lee and his unerring enthusiasm.

‘All good. A bit of a long and hard day,’ Charlie explains.

I look away. Long and hard. Long and hard.

I cross my legs. If he’s done that on purpose then I hate him.

‘And I mostly did refresher lessons and basic stuff today but we’re working from the in-house grammar booklets?

’ Charlie continues. ‘And all the stuff on Teams?’

‘Yes, helps to be on the same page,’ Lee adds. ‘You, Suzie?’

‘Some nice classes. I just need to get off…’ I glance at Charlie and see a smile creep across his face, ‘…early so I can go home, plan, prepare, get up to speed on a few things. I’d like to redecorate my classroom, is that OK?’

‘Marvellous. Yes, please – go to town. Whatever you want. So I’ve made a handout of important dates you need to know. Charlie, can you give her one?’

We both freeze. Oh. Give me a handout. Yes, he can do that. He slips me one. Not like that. God, why is my mind deep in the gutter?

‘Well, some other things on the calendar already. Charlie, mucho gracias for signing on for the Seville trip at half term.’

I look over at Charlie. How come he gets to go on a trip already? Not fair.

‘But before then, speaking mocks, I’m afraid.’

‘So soon?’ I ask.

‘Blame the exam boards. So some oral practice is required all round. Everyone’s skills will be a little rusty,’ Lee continues. I can’t react because if I do then I will look like a child.

‘How do you normally prepare for oral?’ Charlie asks, completely poker-faced.

‘We encourage lots of practise at home, with their peers. Actually, maybe both of you would like to run the club?’

‘There’s an oral club?’ Charlie asks, completely straight-faced.

I can’t talk. I will have to, though, at some point, so I don’t look professionally inept.

‘Mainly for the older ones. That would be a lovely thing for you both to collaborate on. Maybe I will leave that with you? Could you prepare some resources maybe?’

Charlie tries to catch my eye. Collaborate, that’s something he and I have done before. Orally. Don’t think about that at all.

‘I can do that,’ Charlie says. ‘I have some great lessons built around oracy.’