Page 3 of Hot Four Teacher (The Lawson’s #4)

Chapter three

The Universe Can be a Real Dick

Michelle

“ M om, are you sure you’re going to be okay this weekend?” Eve asks me for the tenth time.

“I’ll be just fine.”

“But–”

I cut her off. “Eve, I’ve been taking care of myself just fine for many, many years. One weekend without you is not going to kill me.”

In fact, I’m looking forward to it. Of course, I’m not going to say that to my lovely daughter because she will go from lovely to demonic in the blink of an eye. I’m not in the mood to deal with any of that right now.

She frantically runs around, trying to make sure she’s not forgetting anything. Heaven forbid she doesn’t have her phone charger with her at all times.

“So, what are you going to do while I’m gone?” She asks. “More hobbies?”

“No plans,” I tell her.

“Come on, Mom. You need to get out and go do something.”

She may think it sounds boring, but having a weekend with nothing to do sounds heavenly. Usually, my weekends are full of shuttling Eve around or watching her soccer games. While I don’t necessarily mind either of those things, it’ll be nice to only have to worry about myself for a couple of days.

“Maybe I’ll go see what your aunts or your grandma are up to,” I say, trying to please her.

She lets out an obnoxious sigh. “No, Mom. That’s not what I meant. You need to actually go out and do something fun. Maybe find someone to spend some time with.”

I stand up off the couch and follow her into the kitchen. As she opens the fridge to grab something to drink, I say, “Hey. Do you want to tell me where you’re going with all of this? You know that you go hang out with your friends quite a bit, right? It’s not like I am never left alone.”

Why am I defending myself against someone who doesn’t even have a license yet?

“I know. But I’m never really gone for an entire weekend. Plus, we will be out of town.”

“So what? Eve, if you want to stay home and hang out with your mommy, you can just say that,” I joke.

She rolls her eyes. “Don’t flatter yourself.”

“Clearly, that can be the only reason why you’re worrying about my wellbeing so much when you’re gone.”

“I don’t want you to die alone,” she blurts.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry if that sounded blunt, but I worry about you.”

“Why?” I ask, still stunned.

“Because I’m getting older, and I’m getting busier. And in a couple of years, I’ll be out of the house. You’ll be here all alone. I don’t want that for you. I want you to find someone who makes you happy.”

“Eve, I am happy. I like my life.”

“You don’t miss getting laid?”

My mouth hangs open. “I don’t want to discuss any part of me getting laid with you.”

Another eye roll. “Fine. But think about it. Right now, you are as hot as you’re ever going to be. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

I take my daughter’s hand and lead her over to the couch, so we can both sit down.

“Do you want to tell me what’s going on with you?” I ask. “Why the sudden fascination with my love life?”

“Because you don’t have one,” she says. “You can't just sit in this house and rot away. You’ll never meet someone if you never put yourself out there.”

“I don’t just sit around and do nothing all day, you know? I do have a job, and I’ve been trying new hobbies.”

“Wouldn’t it be more fun to do those things with someone else?”

I don’t know about that. I haven’t had much luck with men. Eventually, I just kind of gave up. It never seemed like that big of a deal for me, but I guess Eve has put more stock in it than I ever have.

“How about you worry about having fun with your friends, and I’ll worry about everything else?” I run my thumb over her cheek. “You’re far too young to be so damn serious.”

“Fine.” She nods. “Just promise me that you’ll at least think about going out and having some fun.”

“Okay, okay. I’ll think about it.”

Eve’s phone chimes next to her. She grabs it and says, “Jill’s mom is about five minutes away.”

“Alright. You need to finish packing. Come on, I’ll help.”

***

It ends up taking longer than five minutes to get Eve out the door. Not surprising. That girl would forget her head if it wasn’t attached to the rest of her body.

When she’s finally gone, I take a moment to listen to the silence.

It’s lovely. Living with Eve isn’t exactly quiet.

She’s either attached to me, talking my ear off.

Or she’s mad at me and bitching or slamming doors.

While I know I’ll be miserable when she moves out, I still enjoy the quiet every once in a while.

Now, I just need to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my evening.

I walk over to my espresso machine and contemplate if I want one.

Drinking caffeine this late wouldn’t keep me awake, but it would give me some fucked up dreams. Still not making a decision, I grab my phone.

Pulling up my email, I scroll through and look for anything important.

Something out of the ordinary catches my eye.

I click on it to get a better look.

Are you tired of being alone? Sick of being single? Maybe it’s time to try online dating.

“Or not,” I mutter out loud.

The email under that says:

Need someone to give your love to? Adopt a pet at this week’s adoption fair!

Okay, what’s going on?

Enough of that.

I set my phone back down on the counter and start going through the stack of mail.

Bills. Bills. More bills. Fast food coupons. And…son of a bitch.

The last thing in the pile is a flyer…for speed dating.

“You have got to be kidding me,” I mumble, picking up my phone once more. I punch in my older sister Liz’s number.

“Hey sis, what’s up?” She answers.

“Do I seem old to you?” I ask.

“I should hope not since I have a few years on you.”

“Do I come off like an old spinster? Should I be buying a bunch of cats?”

“Hold on,” she says. Moments later, my phone vibrates with a notification that she wants to switch to a video call.

I hit accept, and Liz pops up on the screen. She’s handing her toddler daughter off to her husband.

“You okay?” Jack asks her.

“Yes. Michelle is in the middle of some kind of crisis.”

He looks into the camera, prompting me to give a monotone, “Hey, Jack.”

“Hi, Mich. I’ll leave you two alone.” With that, he picks up Beth and walks out of the room.

Liz speaks again. “Okay, what’s wrong?

“I think the universe is trying to tell me something.”

“What do you mean?” She asks.

“Let’s start with Eve who decided all of a sudden that I am nothing but a lonely spinster that needs to find a husband.

She kept begging me to start dating. Then, I see that I’m getting ads for speed and online dating.

Oh, and also there was one trying to get me to adopt a pet because I’m so lonely. ”

Liz asks, “Do you think you’ re lonely?”

“No!” I answer a little too quickly. “Do I sometimes get lonely? Sure. But I mean if I wanted to go out and get some, I could.”

Probably.

“Hell yeah, you could!” She exclaims.

“Normally, I don’t even think about me being single. I’m too busy…and too tired. But today, every reminder popped up all at once. Now, it’s flashing in front of me like a huge neon sign.”

“I’m sorry, Mich. Sometimes the universe can be a total dick.”

I run my hand through my hair. “No joke.” I sit for a moment pondering all of this. The more I think about it, the angrier I get. Why the hell is my love life anybody’s business? I’m still young (sort of) and virile (a little).

I cry, “I can go out and have fun. I bet I could get some interested looks!”

“I’m sure you could get more than that.” Liz has always been a wonderful hype woman.

“Let’s do it!” I practically scream.

“Let’s do what?”

“Go out! I want to have a girls’ night. I want to get all dolled up and get out of the house.”

Half an hour ago, I was looking forward to sitting on the couch and doing my finest impersonation of a potato. But now, I know doing that will just keep me trapped in my own thoughts. That sounds like the exact opposite of relaxing.

Liz says. “Alright. But I think we both know that if we are going out, we can’t do it very well without a certain someone.”

At the exact same time, we both say, “Ronnie.”

Out of the five Lawson siblings, Ronnie has the most experience with going out and partying. She may finally be in a committed relationship, but that doesn’t mean she has given up her love for having fun. I don’t know that she will ever give up that.

“Hold on,” Liz says again, adding Ronnie to our video chat.

Her face pops up on the screen as she answers. “What’s up, bitches?”

She shovels in a bite of what appears to be sweet and sour chicken.

Liz says, “Michelle has something she wants to ask you.”

“Oh, yeah? Well, lay it on me, sister Susan.”

I say, “Liz and I are going out on the town tonight.”

Ronnie rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

"I'm serious, Ronnie,” I tell her. “I want to go out, drink, and have fun.”

Liz adds, “Our dear sister wants to make sure she’s still got it going on.”

My face scrunches up. “Maybe you are the old one. Anyway, we thought maybe you’d like to have girls’ night with us.”

Ronnie drops her fork so hard that the fried rice on it goes flying everywhere. “Yes! I’ve been waiting so long to hear you say that!”

Liz asks, “Should we invite Leah?”

Ronnie snaps her fingers. “Yes! ”

Leah is dating our only brother, Dylan. She may not have been a Lawson, but ever since she got pregnant with our niece, she’s fit in with us perfectly.

I ask, “Anyone heard from Jo?”

Liz answers, “Our baby sister is still living it up in Vegas.”

Ronnie jumps back in. “Okay, so just the four of us. One of you call Leah. Michelle, I’ll be over in ten minutes.”

“Why?” I ask.

“To help you get ready. I’m going to make sure you look hot.”

“Are you saying I can’t get hot on my own?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’ll see you in ten.”

She hangs up, and Liz asks, “Regretting this yet?”

“Oh, yeah.”