Page 24 of Hot Four Teacher (The Lawson’s #4)
Chapter twenty-three
Snuggles with a Side of Anxiety
Michelle
I ’m in bed with a boy. I’m in a bed that’s not mine with a boy.
After Dane and I had sex again, we snuggled up in his bed and were having some pleasant conversation. But eventually, he fell asleep, and I’m lying here, not sure exactly what to do with myself.
I just feel weird.
It’s not that Dane has done anything to make me feel uncomfortable. He’s been super sweet and accommodating. But in my entire life, I’ve only slept at either my house or my parents’--and maybe a friend’s here or there when I was a kid.
That’s it.
I went straight from living at home when Eve was little to moving into the house I’m in now.
I’ve always slept in my bed.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Dane’s bed. It’s comfortable enough and rather spacious. But it’s not mine.
Ugh, what is wrong with me?
Time to put on your big girl pants and just deal with it. You weren’t complaining earlier when you were fucking in here.
Thoughts of the sex flash through my mind. The second time around was just as good as the first. After I sucked his dick, he made sure to get me off three times. I’ve never had a man care if I came once, let alone three times.
If I knew what I was missing out on all of these years, maybe I would’ve put myself out there more. Oh, who am I kidding? Most guys probably wouldn’t hold a candle to Dane.
As I lie here, I finally have to pull myself out of my sexy thoughts. If I keep fantasizing, I’m going to want to do it again.
Not a bad idea.
No. That would probably be rude of me to wake him up just to fuck me.
Instead, I proceed to toss and turn, mindlessly hoping that sleep will finally overtake me. I have no idea how long I try before I hear a deep, “Michelle, honey, are you okay?”
“Uh, yeah. I’m fine.”
Without moving, he says, “You know, you’re still not a very good liar.”
Knowing I may as well just come clean, I sigh. “I can’t sleep.”
That gets him to sit up and look at me. “Is there something wrong?”
“It’s just…nothing…it’s stupid.”
“I’m sure it’s not. Talk to me.”
I’m lying on my back, and Dane drapes his arm over my stomach and gives me a few soft kisses on my shoulder.
“I’ve just never slept at a guy’s house…or really anywhere that wasn’t my own bed.”
“Oh.”
“I told you I’m kind of stuck in my ways. Change is hard for me. I’m sorry. I sound ridiculous.”
“You don’t sound ridiculous. I get it.” He props his head up with his hand. “Do you want to go back and stay at your place?”
“No!” I cry. “I mean I want to keep spending time with you.”
He smiles. “I think you misunderstood. I mean I’d come with you if sleeping in your own bed makes you feel better.”
“You would really do that for me? It’s the middle of the night.”
“Of course, I would do that for you. Michelle, I don’t give a fuck where we sleep. I’m just happy I’m doing it next to you. If you feel more comfortable at home, we will go there.”
I silently consider his words, but ultimately, I decide that it would be insane of me to do that. But it’s super sweet of him to offer.
“Thank you,” I begin. “But we can stay here. I’m fine. Just need to relax a little.”
“Are you sure? I really don’t mind.”
“I know.” I lean forward to give him a quick kiss. “But I’m sure.”
“Okay, then, let’s try something else.” He rolls onto his back, positioning another thick pillow under his head. “Come here.”
I get comfortable in the crook of his arm with my head on his chest.
“How about I stay awake with you until you fall asleep?” He asks.
“What if I can’t fall asleep all night?”
“Then, we will stay up all night.”
“There is no way you can be this perfect,” I tell him.
“Sweetheart, I haven’t done anything that any other decent person wouldn’t have. I’m not some sort of saint.”
Could’ve fooled me.
As he starts running his fingers lightly through my hair, he says, “Sorry. I used to have a TV in the bedroom at my old place, but it broke during the move. I just haven’t had time to get a new one yet.”
“That’s okay. I don’t mind.” After a moment, I add, “Why don’t you tell me a story or something?”
It was just a joke, but he asks, “What kind of story?”
“Hmm. I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me something about your time in the military? You said you were a Marine, right?”
He sits quietly for what feels like an eternity before saying, “Baby, if I were to tell you those stories, you for sure wouldn’t sleep tonight.”
Dane has never shied away from telling me anything so far, so I figure his time in the service must be a sore spot.
I won’t press on it anymore.
“How about your family?” I ask. “You said you had a sister?”
“Yep. Her name is Jenny, and she’s a few years younger than me…but still a huge pain in my ass.”
I laugh. “Trust me, I know the feeling. One of my sisters cares more about my sex life than I do.”
He chuckles. “Although mine wouldn’t go that far, she’s still a pain. But the fact that she mothered my niece, who is the cutest almost four-year-old in the world, makes up for all her bullshit.”
“Do you have any other family?”
“Just my dad.”
In his deep, yet somehow soft voice, he tells me about his dad and sister…and his mom that he lost when he was a teenager. The sound of his voice along with his fingers running through my hair has me calm and completely limp. Any anxiety I was feeling ten minutes ago has completely evaporated.
I try to hang on Dane’s words and take in everything that he’s saying, but I find that becomes increasingly difficult. His voice is sounding further and further away.
The last thing I hear before finally succumbing to sleep is, “Goodnight, beautiful.”