Page 1 of Hold Me Closer

Nadia

S ix Years Ago

"Oh, sweetheart. You look so beautiful," my mom whispers, blinking rapidly to keep from tearing up as I twirl in my prom dress so the short A-line bottom flares around my thighs.

I look like a princess in it. Rhinestones scattered throughout the scalloped lace top sparkle beneath the lights, and the deep red fabric makes my hazel eyes pop. With my hair and makeup mostly done, I feel grown up for once.

"Mateo isn't going to know what to think when he sees you."

"Mom," I groan, pink creeping into my cheeks as I stop spinning to fidget restlessly at the mention of Mateo "Teo" Kirby.

Teo has been my best friend my entire life.

We've always done everything together. But now that we're in high school, things are different.

Or maybe they've always been different. I don't know.

All I know for sure is that I don't look at him the way I look at my other friends.

And he doesn't look at me the same way, either.

We hold hands all the time. We talk on the phone nonstop. He takes me to dinner and the movies, shopping, or wherever I want to go. And when the night ends, he hugs me like he never wants to let me go.

I've never even considered dating anyone else because it's always been Teo for me.

And he's never dated anyone else, either.

I'm pretty sure he's in love with me. I know I'm in love with him.

I have been for a long time. But I'm not ready to admit that to my mom.

I think he should be the first person who hears it from me, right? Right.

"We're just friends," I insist.

A knowing smile curves my mom's lips upward. She doesn't believe me for a minute. Not that I'm really surprised. She knows everything.

"Yes," my dad growls before she can call me out, his Russian accent thick.

He leans against the wall just inside my bedroom, his arms crossed over his chest as if he's standing guard over my mom and me, as overprotective as ever.

"They are just friends. And they will remain just friends.

My Nadia does not need boyfriend. She needs longer dress.

" He motions toward me. "You look beautiful, zaika , but this is not good for you. It's too short."

"Daddy," I groan. "It's a perfectly reasonable length."

His brows furrow, his lips pursing in a look that's far too familiar. I swear, the older me and my sisters get, the more overprotective he gets. I love him so much for loving us the way he does. He's the best dad. But he is not handling the fact that we're growing up very well. I think he hates it.

He'll always be our hero, though. Unfortunately, not even heroes can stop time. If he could, he'd do it in a heartbeat.

Our mom is more rational about us growing up. She used to be a teenage girl, so she understands what it's like. Thank God because she's the only one who can talk sense into him most days.

I thought he was going to lose his mind when he found out that I could graduate a year early. Most parents would be thrilled. He moped for days. I know he's proud of me. He just doesn't want to let me go.

Lucky for him, I'm not ready to go yet. There are so many things I still want to experience before I go to college. I've spent all my time trying to get into college, so now I can relax a bit and have fun.

Besides, Teo wants to play football in college, and he won't get to do that next year. We've always planned on going together. Leaving early would mean leaving him and a big part of my dreams behind. I'm not ready to do that. I don't think I'll ever be ready to do that.

I don't need a music degree right this minute. But I do need him.

"The dance is in two hours, He-Man ," Mom says, crossing the room to my dad. She loops her arm through his and presses up against his side, trying to distract him. "This is the dress she's wearing. You're just going to have to come to terms with it."

He turns that fierce scowl on her. Somehow, even in my pink and purple bedroom, he looks like a cranky warrior.

But even scowling, the way he looks at my mom is exactly the way I want Teo to look at me in twenty years.

My dad idolizes her and makes no secret of it.

We pretend it annoys us, but honestly…I love it.

"She's wearing the dress, Knox," Mom says. "It's not too short. She looks beautiful. Behave."

"Little girls are easier than teenage girls, kisa ," he rumbles, his brows furrowed. "I do not like when they are not so little anymore. Make them stop growing."

She laughs, pressing her face against his arm. "I don't think it works that way, He-Man ."

"It should."

"I'll always be your little girl," I promise, flinging my arms around my dad in a fierce hug, trying to soothe him.

He grumbles and then squeezes me tight, but he gives up complaining about my dress. Thank God. Because this is definitely the dress that's going to make Teo crack, and I need him to crack.

I've been waiting my whole dang life for him to kiss me—really kiss me.

If he doesn't do it tonight, I may cry. I want this thing between us to finally be official.

I'm tired of telling everyone we're just friends when I'm not sure if we've ever been just friends .

Can you be just friends with someone who feels like they're part of you? I kind of doubt it.

"Oh, Nadia," my little sister, Innessa, says, popping her head into the room. "You look so pretty. Maxim! Come and see Nadia's dress!"

Exactly two and a half seconds later, our seven-year-old brother comes racing down the hall, bumping into walls the whole way. He skids to a stop at the door, tripping over his own feet. His dark eyes settle on me, his expression somber.

"I don't like it," he says after a minute, crossing his arms just like Dad. "It's short."

"Mom!" I cry, throwing my arms out in protest. What is wrong with him and my dad? The dress isn't too short!

"It is short," my dad mumbles to his little mini-me. "But it is her body and her choice, Maxim. We do not decide what women wear."

"Then what do we do?" Maxim demands, clearly not liking this answer.

Dad gives him a smile that's pure wickedness. "We go downstairs and have stern talk with Mateo about where his hands do and do not go at this dance."

"Oh my God," I groan, flopping down on my bed as Innessa giggles.

Maxim practically launches himself down the hall, more than willing to help terrorize Teo even though he has no idea what my dad is even talking about. He's seven!

Innessa follows him out, with my dad trailing behind.

"Do you need help finishing your hair, sweetheart?" Mom asks, lingering in the doorway.

"Zoya is going to help me finish it," I say, referring to my almost sixteen-year-old sister.

"Then I'll go make sure your father behaves when Mateo gets here." She presses the back of her hand to my cheek, giving me a reassuring smile. "You look beautiful, sweetheart. Your daddy thinks so, too." A soft laugh escapes. "He wouldn't be so upset if he didn't."

"I know," I agree, my lips twitching, and then I hesitate. "Um, Mom? Can I ask you something?"

"Anything. You know that."

A blush steals across my cheeks, staining them as I fidget, not sure how to ask this. "Um…how did you convince Dad to kiss you for the first time?"

"Oh," she whispers softly. "You want Mateo to kiss you?"

I bite my lip, staring at her with wide eyes. "I think so? I mean…maybe?" I squeeze my eyes closed as my cheeks burn. "So bad," I finally admit in a whisper. "But he never does!"

I've done everything but outright ask, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I know he wants to kiss me. He looks at me sometimes like he's going to snap if he doesn't kiss me. But then he just…doesn't do it.

It's driving me crazy!

"Well," Mom says slowly, "your father is a crazy man. He didn't take any convincing."

I giggle because she's not wrong. My dad is crazy about her. And crazy in general. He chases her around like they're newlyweds.

"But Mateo is a little bit more reserved than your father. He loves just as fiercely, but you two have been friends for a long time. And he's always looked out for you. I think maybe he's trying to look out for you now."

"How so?"

Mom settles beside me on the bed. "How do you think he'd feel if he kissed you and it ruined your friendship? He'd be pretty upset with himself."

"Yeah, I guess that's true." I didn't really think about that. "He'd probably think he did something to hurt me."

"Exactly. So if you want him to kiss you, I think you're going to have to be direct and tell him that, sweetheart," she murmurs, sliding her arm around my shoulders to hug me. "That way, he knows he has permission."

"Ugh," I groan. "Relationships are so complicated."

She laughs quietly. "They aren't so complicated.

Be honest, be patient, and be kind to one another.

" She hesitates. "And don't rush things, Nadia.

You two have plenty of time to grow up and explore other facets of your relationship.

Don't force things too soon just because you're in the heat of the moment or because it's what everyone else is doing, okay? "

"Are you talking about sex?" I ask, my eyes narrowed on her.

She blinks wide eyes at me, prompting me to roll mine.

"Daddy has been giving us the no-sex talk for, like, four years now," I say. "Yours is way nicer than his, by the way. His is all, 'No touching my daughter in wrong ways, Mateo. It is bad.' with lots of scowling thrown in."

My dad grew up in Russia before moving here with his parents when he was sixteen.

His father was a vocal opponent to the government, and they tried to poison him for it.

Even though it's been decades, my dad still has this way of phrasing things that's almost painfully direct at times, especially when paired with his accent.

"Well, then, I suppose I don't need to remind you that your father's head will literally explode if you end up pregnant, now do I?" she says drily.