Page 40

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

“ L eave me be,” Margaret groaned, rolling over in bed.

“I will do no such thing,” Catherine said rightly.

“If you think that I am going to let you wallow in misery all day, then I am frankly a little insulted. That you would think I am that type of sister.” Margaret had her back to Catherine, and her eyes closed, so she could not see what her sister was doing.

But she heard her feet walk across the room and toward the window, and then she heard the sound of the curtains being thrown open.

“Argh!” Margaret cried out as bright light flooded the room.

And not the light of early morning either, but that which came when the sun sat high in the sky, for it was well into the day by this point.

“Close the curtains!” Margaret snatched her pillow from under her head and shoved it over her face.

“What on earth makes you think I would do that?”

“I told ye, I dae nae want to get up,” she spoke through her pillow.

“Well, I can see that well enough for myself.”

“Close the curtains!”

“No,” Catherine said. “If you want them closed, you will have to do so yourself. Only that will require you to rise from your bed. Quite the predicament, isn’t it?”

Margaret pulled her pillow from her face and glared daggers at her sister. “Are ye enjoying yourself? I hope that ye are.”

To that, Catherine offered a forlorn expression; truly, she looked as if she might cry. “Enjoying myself? Margaret, how can you say such a thing? I have been beside myself with worry all morning. I hope you know that.”

“There is nae reason to worry.”

She snorted. “Lies. Now…” Across the room she came, heading straight for Margaret.

There, she sat on the bed and rested a hand on Margaret’s shoulder.

“It is time to get up. I know you do not want to. I know it feels as if you might never wish to again. But Margaret…” She sniffed and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

“Wallowing in self-pity will solve nothing. In fact, it will only make it worse. To lie here all day and run over in your head how tragic everything has become will compound on your shoulders and strangle you. And that will do you no good.”

“Ye’re nae going to let this go, are ye?”

“Not on your life.”

Her sister was right, Margaret knew. Although she was in bed, Margaret had not been sleeping.

I dae nae think I will ever sleep again, with how rotten I feel.

She had been lying here wide awake, thoughts of misery and sorrow cascading through her mind and her body both, so that she felt like she might be sick.

Time was the great healer, Margaret had told herself. But how long would that take? It had been three days now since she left Lysander’s home, and she felt no better than she had that first morning. If anything, she felt even worse.

Another day or two at most… perhaps when I leave for Scotland, as surely by then things will start to feel better. They have to! It was tomorrow that she would be leaving, a day which brought her feelings of dread. And that was the least of it.

Her emotions were mixed. A part of her was angry, but Margaret reasoned that it was forced anger.

She wanted to be furious with Lysander. She wanted to hate him for what he had done.

Alas, it was not possible, because despite his being the one who had kicked her out, she knew the fault of this situation to lie at her own feet.

She had been trying to do the right thing. Ironically, it was because of how much she loved Lysander and his daughters that she had acted the way she had. She did wonder still if perhaps she had given in too easily. Had she stood her ground, would things be different?

Nae… I doubt that. Lysander is many things, and stubborn is one of them. It took so much for me to coax his feelings out of him so that he was ready to admit them to me, true. And the second he believed I had spurned him, they died like a fire doused by water.

There would be no going back. That, as much as anything, was what hurt the most. Margaret had been given a chance unlike anything she had dreamed; she had ruined it, and now she was left to deal with the consequences. Such was the way of love…

“Now, come on, the day is too glorious a one to waste in bed.” Catherine threw back the bedsheets. “And if nothing else, perhaps a walk will make you feel better.

Margaret doubted it very much. But her sister was almost as stubborn as she was, and at the very least, Margaret reasoned that she needed to get out of her own head.

“As you say…”

Together, they walked through the house, Catherine with her arm around Margaret’s waist. “I take it you are not hungry?”

“I doubt I will ever be hungry again.”

“Doubtful,” Catherine chuckled.

Margaret had not eaten in… has it been that long?

The last proper meal that she ate was the morning that she had fallen from the horse.

Since then, she had snacked and forced herself to take the occasional bite of whatever food her sister had sent to her.

But it was minimal, as she had no stomach for food right now.

She was far too depressed to think of such things.

She was still dressed in her shift, but she did not care. Her hair, too, was a mess. Her face was pasty and blotched with tear stains. But as they reached the back garden, the sun felt nice on her skin, not enough to cure her of her woes, but it helped a little.

“You should know too,” Catherine began as they started their walk. “The arrangements are almost finished to take you home.”

“Oh…”

“I will be joining you also,” he said. “Sampson has agreed to stay here with the baby. That is not to say that he is happy about it, but I told him he’d best learn to be.”

“Catherine…” Margaret looked at her sister. “Ye dae nae have to do that. Truly, there is nae need.”

“I know there isn’t,” she said, arm still around Margaret, and she gave her a squeeze. “But it will be good to see Father again. And besides, Margaret, you need to know that you are not alone in this. There are still people here who love you. This is not the end, even if it may feel that way.”

She could have cried. Dammit, she nearly did! They walked in silence for a few minutes more, Margaret sniffing and holding back the tears.

This is what having a family is all about. Although that just reminds me of the harsh truth that I will nae have one. I almost did, only now…

Her chin began to tremble, and she forced those thoughts away. She knew they would not be gone forever, but to ponder on them consistently did her no good.

Despite her efforts, her mind then wandered to Aurelia and Lenora.

This saw her chest taken by pain because it was they who she would miss most of all.

The argument that she had done this for them did not help, and she hated to think of how much she had hurt them.

It was still a few days until she had to leave, so perhaps she could visit them again?

But was that a smart idea? Would that only make things harder?

“What on earth?” her sister said suddenly, pulling Margaret back into the garden. “Who is that?”

Margaret looked ahead, past the rows of hedges and lined trees, toward the side of the house where just now a young girl appeared. She was covered in dirt. Her hair was a bird’s nest. She was puffing and panting as if she had run a mile at a hard sprint. But there could be no mistaking who it was.

“Aurelia!” Margaret gasped.

Aurelia saw Margaret, beaming her delight, and hurried through the garden. “Margaret!” she cried out. She was dressed in her shift with a coat pulled over for warmth. “Margaret! You’re still here!”

“Aurelia, what are you–oh!” she cried out as the little girl threw herself into her waist, wrapping her arms around her so tightly that she might never let her go.

“I knew I would not be too late. I knew it!”

“Aurelia…” Margaret peeled the girl off her, holding her by the shoulders so she could look down at her. “What are ye doing here? How are ye here?” She looked past Aurelia, half expecting the duke to appear next.

“I rode here!” She was a ball of energy. “Last night, I left my room, took one of father’s horses, and followed the road!”

Margaret’s stomach sank from the worry. Oh sure, Aurelia was perfectly fine, but the danger of what she had done… Lysander will be beside himself. “You should nae have done that.”

“I had to come,” Aurelia said excitedly. She did not look upset, worried, or afraid. “I had to! Father said… Father said that you are to return to Scotland?” She looked at Margaret for an answer.

“That is right,” Margaret said carefully. “It is my home, and it is time that I return.”

“Me too,” Aurelia cried. “That is why I am here. When you go…” She was shaking with excitement. “When you go, I am coming with you. Please say yes!” she then added quickly. “You must! You must!”

It was a strange sensation that took Margaret in that moment.

As surprising as this was, it was also sad for this confirmed just how much the girls had been affected by her leaving, she also felt her heart swell with pride and a sense of love unlike anything she might have expected.

For all her fears about the influence she had on Aurelia and Lenora, for all she was doing to protect them, they loved her.

All I ever wanted was a family of my own, and it seems that I have found one…

“Aurelia…” She tried to keep the smile from her face, but she failed miserably. “I understand that ye are… that ye are confused –”

“I am not confused,” she cut her off. “I know what I want. And I want to come with you.”

“That is nae possible,” she explained softly. “Yer father would never allow it.”

“He won’t even care.” Her expression hardened, and despite the joy in the girl’s eyes, Margaret could hear the pain in her voice. “He doesn’t care about me. Or Lenora. He hates us.”

“Aurelia…” Margaret leaned back in surprise. “That is nae true.”