Page 23

“Then what is it like?” Julian pressed with a wicked grin.

Lysander felt his body heating up as Margaret looked at him with curiosity.

She knew what this was… doesn’t she? A marriage of convenience, set to end once the Season finishes.

That is still the plan! Yet he could not tell Julian that, and he did not want to say anything else that might further confuse the matter.

Also, he did not want to say something that might turn her away. For how short-term this arrangement was, it was just now taking a serious turn toward the positive that Lysander was determined to explore further. Just as I plan on exploring Margaret further, at that.

“What is the meaning of all these questions?” Lysander attempted to dismiss.

Julian chuckled. “Just deciding if I need to create a diversion,” he said with a wink at Margaret. “Shall I, Your Grace? Give you time to run for the door?”

“Would ye?” she laughed. “That would be so kind.”

“It might not be enough.” Julian joked. “I can see it in my friend’s eyes. See how he holds your hand…” He indicated to Lysander’s hand, wrapped tightly around Margaret’s. “The damn man is obsessed! As you said.”

“It is my fault,” Margaret sighed. “Leadin’ him on, as I have done. I should have known better.”

“He has never been very good with women,” Julian agreed. “No doubt, all you did was smile at him, and he fell head over heels. You never stood a chance.”

Lysander felt himself growing angry.

It was stupid. There was no reason for it.

Julian was always making light of him, as that was just the man’s way, and it was never to be taken seriously.

And Margaret, as quick of wit and sharp of tongue as she was, was clearly just eager to be involved, unable to help herself because she enjoyed a joke as much as anyone else. That’s all it was, a joke.

But it was a joke made with terrible timing.

A joke that only served to highlight how unorthodox this marriage was.

He and Margaret had reached a good place; he did not wish to change that, and the more Julian spoke and joked, the more it looked as if he might be forced to answer questions that he was not quite ready to answer.

This is so unlike me. Since the day I met Margaret, I have not been myself. She undoes me. She frustrates me. I should not care what she thinks about me, or what might happen. Yet I do… so much more than I ever thought possible.

“I am glad for you both,” Julian said with a serious nod, only for a wicked grin to take his visage. “And your daughters, for that matter. They might stand a chance now that they have someone in the house who is not such a stuck-up –”

“That is enough,” Lysander growled warningly at his friend, unable to take the jests any longer.

Julian laughed and leaned back. “Did I touch a nerve? Sorry, Lysander, I was only speaking in jest.”

“I do not care what you were doing. Enough is enough.”

“We were jus’ joking, Lysander.” Margaret squeezed his hand. “Mostly, anyhow…” She winked at Julian, unable to help herself. “Some of what I was sayin’ might have been borne in truth.” Julian laughed and slapped his knees.

Lysander took a deep breath. He did not want to snap at his wife.

He did not want to blame her or judge her or take anything she was saying seriously.

But he was having a hard time marrying the two sides of himself.

That which lusted after this woman like a wolf might a freshly cornered prey, and that which was determined not to admit feelings which went any deeper than that.

“Margaret, if you do not mind, I would like to spend some time alone with my friend,” he said, figuring that perhaps the best option here was to ask her to leave. At least that way he would not risk offending her… or so he thought?

Her face dropped. “R – really? You wish for me to leave?”

“If you do not mind.”

“Lysander, we were only joking around,” Julian said, sitting up. “There is no need to –”

“If you do not mind, Julian, I am speaking to my wife.” He raised an eyebrow at her, a dismissive gesture so that she would know he was not joking. “If you do not mind, Margaret.”

He could see right away that he’d made a mistake. What was done in an effort to save face and avoid awkwardness had contributed to it directly. She looked at him with surprise, quickly turned to anger, snatching her hand back as if he had bitten her, and rising to her feet.

“Well… if I am nae wanted…” She raised both eyebrows at Lysander, giving him a final chance to take it back. But he was stubborn and thus did no such thing. “Your Grace,” she said to Julian. “It was lovely meeting ye.”

“And you,” Julian said awkwardly. “Until we meet again.”

Margaret turned and stormed from the room without looking back, leaving behind cold air and tension which could be cut with a knife.

Lysander’s stomach twisted with guilt, for he knew he had done the wrong thing.

This marriage was always going to be difficult, he had known.

What he hadn’t counted on was how much more so it would be, now that he actually cared about the woman to whom he was wed.

“Well, that could have been handled better,” Julian said the moment that Margaret was gone.

Lysander glared at him. “What do you think you are doing?”

“Me?” Julian cried. “Do not dare try to lay the blame at my feet.”

“Is that why you came here? To make things awkward? If so, congratulations. Mission accomplished.”

Julian blew through his lips. “Do not pretend that I am the one you are angry with. I was only joking – yes, Lysander. Jokes. That is all. Which I would not have done if I did not think that it would be safe to do so. Clearly, a situation misread.”

“What… what do you mean?”

“Oh, come now.” Julian rolled his eyes. “It is obvious that the woman is crazy about you. Just as it is obvious that you are crazy about her. Something I never thought I would see, until it was slapping me across the face as it was just now.”

“That is not… we are not…” Lysander stammered a response that never came.

He frowned and looked toward the closed door.

Was it possible that she was developing feelings for him?

The truth of the matter was that Lysander had not considered it.

In fact, he was still operating under the assumption that he annoyed her as much as she annoyed him.

Obviously, their attraction and lust filled this void and exploded from it, but that was where it was meant to end. It was where he needed it to end.

But to hear his friend tell him another thing entirely...

“She does not feel that way for me, I assure you.”

He scoffed. “Is that what you think?”

He winced. “It is not as simple as that.”

“It almost never is.”

Lysander meant to argue further. To put his foot down and tell his friend to mind his own damn business!

Only before he got the chance, he felt himself begin to break.

This was not him. He did not care – he was never meant to!

But for reasons he had yet to fathom, Margaret was taking hold of him and his emotions so that he was acting in ways that made him almost unrecognizable.

“I don’t know what has become of me.” Lysander’s shoulders slumped, and he slunk down on the couch. “I have never felt this way before, Julian. I have never wanted to. It is as if a… a demon has possessed me, forcing me to act in ways I do not understand.”

“It sounds like love.”

“No,” Lysander said firmly. “It is not that .”

And that was the truth. This was not above love, but lust. Raw attraction that had Lysander acting like a jealous teenager, so that all he could think about was Margaret and how much he wanted her. And just the thought that she might not want him or might want another… it made him ill.

Julian scoffed. “As you say. But only you could turn such a simple thing as this into a point of absolute complexity. You are overthinking it, Lysander. You are letting it get to you.”

“I am aware,” he said dryly.

“Do you want my advice?”

“I don’t,” he said with a sigh. “Although I know that I need it.”

“Ha!” Julian finished his glass of whiskey, rose from the couch, and walked to the liquor cabinet.

“I might not know a lot about women, but I know this. The smallest arguments are like snowballs rolling down the side of a mountain. Left to their own devices, they have a tendency to escalate, and before you know it, you have an avalanche coming for you.”

“Speak clearly, please,” Lysander sighed.

“Go and talk to her,” Julian said as he poured a drink.

“You are confused? You are unsure? Learn why and be done with it. And most of all…” He looked right at Lysander.

“No matter what she says, you are in the wrong, even if you are not.” He laughed.

“Truly, an apology made early will save you a headache in the future. And who knows…” He took a sip and smacked his lips.

“Perhaps you might even come out the other side having learned something.”

Lysander sighed again, his stomach still turning, although now it was with nerves.

He knew his friend was right and that he would need to speak with Margaret.

Not just about what happened today, but about everything.

Confusion still hovered between them and until it was cleared up fully, he would never be comfortable.

“What are you going to do?” Lysander said as he rose from his chair and started across the room, committing himself to seeking out Margaret now, before it was too late.

“Me?” Julian shrugged and then winked. “I will find a way to busy myself, worry not.” He raised his glass. “This whiskey, for example. I might finish the bottle.”

Lysander shook his head but smiled for his friend, glad that at the end of the day, he had someone who cared about him like this in his life.

And then he strode from the room, brimming now with a sense of determination. He and Margaret had come a long way in the past day, further, truly, than he’d thought was possible. But it wasn’t enough, and it wouldn’t be until all that had been left unsaid was finally brought into the open.