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CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A s he always did, Lysander made sure to check on his two daughters before they went to sleep for the night.

He wore a smile as he walked down the hallway and toward their room.

Supper had gone wonderfully, as it often did now.

The girls seemed to love Margaret, and she shared in this love, speaking to them both as if they were her own.

Every night now, it went much this way, a tradition of sorts that felt as natural as breathing.

Although Lysander could not believe how far he and Margaret had come since they had begun to try, there was still that part of him that was laced with worry.

Feelings were developing. A path forward was appearing for them both.

But did he want such a thing? Deep down, he knew that he did, but that did not stop him from worrying.

They had still not discussed the future yet.

But Lysander reasoned that for now, there was no need.

Let them enjoy where they were, and when that day came, perhaps there would be no need?

Would it not be easier if they simply never mentioned it again?

At least that way, I will never have to make the choice…

His heart began to race as he remembered the ball…

and the way it had ended. Him on his knees, devouring his wife, feeling the pleasure mount in her as he licked and sucked and feasted.

Their sexual attraction had been undeniable, and now their mental connection felt much the same.

Everything was going damn near perfectly.

When he reached his daughters’ open bedroom door, he heard voices coming from inside. Naturally, he assumed it to be Aurelia and Lorena talking, which had him chuckling and shaking his head. But when he reached the open door, he stopped himself, recognizing a third voice…

“… ye will have to ask yer father,” Margaret said.

“But why?” Aurelia whined. “If you said it was fine…”

“It is his decision,” she laughed. Lysander stepped around the door but stayed back, making sure he could not be seen. “If he wishes to let ye start learning how ta ride, he will tell ye so. Not me.”

“Fine,” Aurelia sighed.

Margaret sat on the end of Aurelia’s bed, while the two girls sat up so that they could see her and speak easily. Even in the dark, he could see the looks of adoration on his daughters’ faces, a sense that they worshipped Margaret as she did them.

“Now, it is time for bed,” Margaret said. “Come on, you two, in you go.”

The two girls were quick to heed her request, which surprised Lysander, as often they liked to protest. Again, it told him how much they admired her.

“Margaret, we are so happy that you and Father married,” Aurelia said.

“So happy,” Lenora agreed.

“As I am,” she said with a soft chuckle.

“He was lonely before you came,” Aurelia said with a yawn. “He would never say so, but I could tell.”

Margaret hesitated. “Really…”

“Yes,” Lenora agreed. “I think he was, too.”

“Nae that it matters,” Aurelia said, yawning again as she shuffled in her bed to get comfortable. She did that now, often slipping in the odd word of brogue. “Now that ye are here forever, he can finally be happy.”

She said nothing, and with her back to Lysander, he could not see the look on her face.

“You are here forever, aren’t you?” Aurelia asked.

Again, Margaret said nothing. Lysander felt himself leaning closer, worried he might miss her response. His pulse quickened, and he held his breath, desperate for the answer. It would, after all, set his mind at ease and save him having to wonder how she felt.

“Guid night, girls,” Margaret ended in saying. “I will see you in the morning.”

Lysander frowned, his stomach twisting into knots. She did not answer them. Why did she not answer them…

It was such a small thing, yet Lysander could not help but read into it.

To agree with the girls and set their minds at ease would have been the easy thing to do she didn’t suggest that she did not wish to lie.

Did that mean she was still unsure? That she suspected that come the end of the Season, she would still be going home? Or was she simply being cautious?

Quickly, Lysander ducked from the room and hurried down the hallway and around the corner. His mind raced as he searched for answers.

Perhaps she simply did not want to upset the girls? That made the most sense, as the three of them had bonded these last few weeks, and to tell them one thing and then do another would break them. That, however, revealed a new fear within Lysander that had gone unnoticed until now.

All this time, he had not considered how selfish he was being.

It was one thing to make a deal with Margaret, thinking that honesty and transparency were the best way to approach this marriage.

To give it a real shot and see what happened was an idea they both agreed to.

But what of his daughters? What would happen if, when the time came, they decided that this marriage could not work?

How would his daughters react? And what could he possibly tell them to set their minds at ease?

It added a new layer of complexity to a situation that was already complex enough. Again, the idea of keeping Margaret away from them came to the fore, but it was too late for that now. Much too late.

We like one another. We are attracted to one another. So far, there is no reason that this marriage will not work. But I know us both well enough to understand that at any time something might go wrong, and when it does…

He had wondered if asking her straight out was the best idea. But to put her on the spot like that might force her hand. Again, his daughters were his primary worry, one which he had no idea what to do about.

“What are ye doing?” Margaret asked him suddenly.

“Oh!” Lysander jumped on the spot, not realizing that she had walked around the corner. “I ah… was going to check on the girls.”

She smiled. “No need. I have just put them to bed.”

“There was no need for that,” he said sharply before he could help himself. He did not mean it, but that old notion of keeping them separate was still in his mind, and he spoke before he could think. “I mean…” He grimaced.

“I…” She frowned at the response, unsure. “I did nae think you would mind.”

“I don’t,” he said quickly. “I am just…” He sighed. “Tired, is all. I think it is time for bed.”

“Oh…” A look of disappointment crossed her face.

He knew what that look meant. Last night had been an appetizer for what was to come, a reminder of how attracted they both were to one another.

And now that he was past pretending otherwise, there was no need to continue with the ruse.

They were man and wife; they still needed to prove that this marriage could work, and what better way was there than taking her to his bed right now? Oh, how I want to…

Lysander felt his heart racing, prickles erupting across his skin.

She was dressed simply, a loose-fitting riding habit, and yet his mouth salivated as he looked her over, the taste of her still fresh on his lips.

He licked them, her eyes flashed with excitement, and he knew that all he had to do was take her by the hand and she would come.

Several times, if I have anything to say about it.

God, how he wished to. He could feel himself hardening in his pants. The only thing keeping his amor at bay was thoughts of his daughters and the fear he felt at hurting them.

“But I will see you in the morning?” he somehow managed.

There was no denying the look of disappointment on her face. “Yes, of course…” she forced a smile.

“Good.” He reached out subconsciously, his hand resting under her chin. The feel of her skin was electric, and it took all the control he had not to pull her into him. “I will see you then.”

He dropped his hand, stepped around her, and raced down the hallway, determined to put as much distance between himself and her as he could.

The entire point of this arrangement had been to dispel the confusion that came with this marriage so that he and Margaret might have a chance of seeing if they could ever truly work.

And it had worked for a time, a little too well because now Lysander was more confused than ever.

He liked his wife. He sensed that she liked him too.

But would that be enough? And what if it wasn’t? What then?

I need to think about what to do next and how to approach this most delicate situation. And most of all, I need to control myself until I do . No easy task.