Page 73 of His Deadly Devotion

I watch my husband through the glass window. He’s outside talking to Patty. Whatever they’re discussing, it’s clear Connor isn’t happy about it.

Over the last two weeks, I’ve seen Connor meet with a shit-ton of people from his organization. Both men and women. I’ve learned that the Irish don’t discriminate based on sex. It’s one of the things that drew me to Connor in the first place. He doesn’t feel the need to roll me up in bubble wrap and shield me from the world.

Don’t get me wrong. He wants to. But he doesn’t try to do it. He treats me as his equal. Although the hovering has been driving me crazy, it’s kind of endearing at the same time.

He loves me. I’ve never doubted that, even back when he was pushing me away. I knew he loved me more than he hated me.

I turn away from the window and take myself to the bedroom. I need to lie down. I’ve been suffering from headaches, something the doctor says will go away with time. I’m also not sleeping great. I’ve been trying to hide my anxiety from Connor as much as I can. Not that much gets past him. He’s constantly analyzing me, trying to see if I’m going to crack. I won’t. I will do whatever it takes to get over the nightmares. The fear.

I’ve always been able to put on a front, to pretend to be someone different from the person on the inside. Now is the same. And if it helps Connor focus on what he has to do, then I can be okay. I won’t be the reason he doesn’t get every single one of the men he’s hunting down.

I climb onto the bed and close my eyes. I hate it. The dark. Connor has kept a lamp on in the bedroom every night. I haven’t asked him to do that. I think he just knows I need it. He made upsome bullshit about wanting to be able to see if he has to jump out of bed all of a sudden.

Every sense is heightened. Just like it was when I was in that basement. My heart races as I focus on taking in lungfuls of air, slowly releasing each breath.

I am not scared.I repeat that over and over in my head.

I’m going to be there when Connor takes the hearts of every last man who laid a hand on me. Right after I remove those hands from their arms.

Every sound is amplified too, which is why my fingers reach under my pillow when I hear footsteps coming down the hall. My palm wraps around the butt of the gun Patty gave me yesterday. Opening my eyes, I point the gun at the door, waiting for whomever it is to come through.

I sit up, my fight-or-flight instincts taking over. My body on high alert. I will never be caught off guard again. I will be prepared the next time someone comes for me. I was too relaxed on the island. That was my fault.

Connor’s face comes into view, and I lower my weapon. “Where the fuck did you get that?” he asks while eyeing the gun in my hand.

“Patty gave it to me,” I tell him, sliding it back under my pillow.

“Why?”

“Because I asked nicely?” My answer comes out more like a question.

“You don’t need it.” Connor says. “You are safe here, Aurora.”

“I was safe on my aunt’s island too. Until I wasn’t,” I counter.

Connor lowers himself next to me on the bed. Picking up my hand and bringing it to his lips. “I know you want to wait for your parents to be there with you. But… we need to get married,” he says. “Legally.”

“Why?”

“It’s the best way to protect you. The wife of a boss is untouchable, Aurora,” he says.

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” It’s an unspoken rule in the underworld, but it’s not a rule everyone follows.

“It could help.” He shrugs.

“Connor, Iammarried to you. I’m in this with you. If you really think we should follow it up with a ceremony, then I will. But please don’t make me break my promise to my mom if I don’t absolutely have to,” I plead.

It might not seem like a big deal. But to me, it is. Having my dad walk me down the aisle and my parents give their blessing is important to me. And right now, that won’t happen. I think Connor is enemy number one to my family. They’re not happy with the mess the Irish have caused back home. And, well, Connor is now the leader of the Irish.

“We’ll figure it out. I’m not going to make you break your word, princess.” Connor picks me up so that my legs rest on each side of his. My core presses against his cock. A small moan escapes me. We haven’t touched each other since he found me in that basement.

“Connor…”

“Mmm?” His lips trail down the side of my neck.

“I want you to fuck me,” I tell him, and he freezes.

He lifts his head until his eyes meet mine. “Are you sure? We don’t have to…”