Page 29 of His Country

Well, he’d done a lot more than whisper in his ear. The images he’d planted in Aiden’s mind were almost too intense toimagine. Especially in public. He was grateful he wore his loose jeans today.

Regaining control of himself, and the tent in his pants, he stood up and stiffly and made his way toward the back of the bar. Ethan was fussing with the pinball machine. Aiden would have thought he had no idea what he’d done to him, but the man was wearing a satisfied little smirk as he tapped the button on the side of the game.

He took two more steps before his attention was drawn back to the TV. They were showing Everett’s game replays. Aiden would know Everett anywhere. He still moved the same way he did in high school.

“You’re not going to ask anything about him?” Aiden asked, his voice sounding faraway.

That smirk slipped off Ethan’s face as he turned to glance over his shoulder at Aiden. Cocking a hip, he leaned against the pinball machine. The neon lights from the beer signs on the wall glittered in his eyes.

“I got the answers I needed, Aiden.” He gestured for Aiden to join him, and he found himself powerless to disobey. “I’m not here for him. Hell, I’m not even here for you.”

Aiden couldn’t meet his eye. He didn’t know why he asked. That wasn’t like him at all but he just…he wanted to suffuse himself in the warmth of the evening. Enjoy feeling like a normal person—out to a bar with a guy who he enjoyed spending time with.

He looked up when Ethan paused, head cocked so he could meet Aiden’s downturned eyes.

“I’m here, in this bar, drinking crappy beer and eating freezer burned onion rings with you,for me.Because I want to be here.”

Any reservations he had, any thoughts of Everett and his signature playing style dissipated the moment Aiden looked up to get lost in Ethan’s eyes. In the low bar light, eyes not soft butsharp, an edge to them that twinkled with the promise of its cut. He was looking at him. No, he was seeing him. For the first time in what felt like his entire life, someonesawhim.

It had always been about the farm. Or about Everett. Or Billy. Or Everett and Billy. Aiden was on the peripheral, never more than a side glance. Hovering on the edges like he was one step from falling into the black.

But Ethan had seen him. From that first day, he’d left Everett and Billy to come to Aiden’s side. He came back for himthatnight too, even though he didn’t have to. And he kept coming back. Always looking at him.

Then and now.

God help him, he liked it.

That smirk returned. “And right now, I want to kick your ass at pinball.”

Aiden grinned, his eyes crinkling under the strength of his smile. “You’re on.”

The buttons stuck and the paddles were loose, but they played. Turns out, Aiden had a bit of a competitive streak and had to keep himself from cursing up a storm the moment Ethan beat him. Again. Ethan found the whole thing hilarious and especially enjoyed riling him up. He even offered to play the last game with one hand behind his back, which led to Aiden threatening to dump a pitcher of beer over his head.

By the time the paid their bill and left, the night was chilly. They stepped into the lot and gasped the moment the cold air hit them. It felt like sucking in razor blades.

As they crossed the lot, Ethan’s hand brushed his, pinkies bumping. Aiden fought against his ingrained need to jerk his hand away and left it there. Let his pinky knock against Ethan’s with every step. It felt like holding his hand over a fire, the longer their skin touched the harder it was to hold it there. But he couldn’t pull away, not tonight. Tomorrow, when the cold lightof day crept over the horizon, he might feel different. All that fear and shame that he’d carried with him might come back. But tonight, he was free.

The drive back to the ranch was quiet, but not silent. It was like time existed in their own little bubble. The soundtrack of the radio hissing and crackling, wind whistling past the broken rearview mirror, and the tires crunching over uneven roads. As good a concert as Aiden had ever heard.

They didn’t speak. Speaking would form a timeline, a tangible tether to the world when they were happy to exist in this liminal space. A place where Aiden could smile, and pinkies could touch.

The drive was too short, and Aiden found his fingers lingering on the shifter long after the truck had rocked into park. There was no heater in the truck, and the frost on the window was beginning to creep in from the corners. Too afraid to look over at Ethan, he forced his eyes to stay on the cracked leather of the steering wheel. It wasn’t what he’d see in those coffee-colored irises, it was what he’d see reflected. It had been so long since he’d looked himself in the eye, he wasn’t sure if he could do it now. Not after the night he’d had.

Eventually he couldn’t justify counting the stitches in the leather any longer, so he pushed out the truck, dropping to his feet. The moment his boots hit the ground it was like time began again. He was suddenly part of the Earth’s rotation and the heady rush of it was disorienting. While he was getting his bearings, Ethan joined him on his side of the truck.

“Thanks for coming with me,” he grunted, forcing himself to look at Ethan for the sake of politeness.

“Thanks for letting me,” Ethan replied breezily, his shoulder resting against the rusted cab.

He still had groceries in the back, but he’d come for them later. When Ethan wasn’t leaning against the door like he didn’t have a care in the world.

“Night.” He began walking toward the bunkhouse with his ballcap pulled low. Isaac would probably be asleep, and he could use the quiet to sort through the events of this evening. Put it all in some kind of order he could make sense of.

A tug on the back of his belt had him staggering backward. Twisting, he tried to catch himself only to find he was already caught. Ethan had him in his arms, one hand sliding around his waist while the other tipped his head back.

Ethan kissed him. A warm press of lips that had the same confidence Ethan had in everything he did. No reservations, no shame. Pulling him so close there wasn’t an inch of room between them, Ethan’s cold fingers caressed his cheek. Aiden’s ballcap flipped backwards. By the time it hit the ground, his eyes had fluttered closed, and he was kissing him back.

Pulling back, Ethan’s breath ghosted across his face in short, warm undulations. Without opening his eyes, he knew he was looking down at him. The fingers on his hip squeezed gently, but it was enough to give Aiden the confidence to open his eyes. When he did, Ethan’s soft smile was a contrast to the molten burn in his eyes.