Page 10

Chapter Ten

Jason

“Hey, Mom,” I called out as we entered the apartment. Fuck, I couldn’t wait to get us out of this place.

“Jase, what’s up? Oh, hello, Wyatt and Hayden. Everything okay?”

“Afternoon, Dana,” Sikes replied, and Snipe waved.

“Yeah, but we’re flying out to Vegas in the morning to pack up their apartment and move them up here.”

“Where is everyone gonna sleep?” She glanced around. Nicole had already commandeered Sikes, taking him by the hand and led him over to a tea party she had set up. More photo ops. Nothing beat the picture of a muscled behemoth with a tiny teacup in his hand.

“Mickey, he’s the bassist for Social Sinners, offered us space at his McMansion until the house is done.”

“Wow, all these big important friends you have now. Your world has finally come together, Jase. I’m so proud of you.”

It never got old hearing that from her. Making my mom proud was always at the top of my list and a driving force to always put my best foot forward. “Our world, Mom.” My eyes wandered from Sikes to Snipe, and an overwhelming feeling rocked my core. “The world for our family has finally come together. But I think your friend Wyatt over there might want to assist you in picking out kitchen stuff.”

“ My new friend, Wyatt,” Nicole protested. “He’s my BFF.”

Mom shook her head. “That girl is gonna take the world by storm.”

“That she is.” Nicole was a no BS kind of kid, and I loved that about her.

“I, um,” Mom nervously twisted the hem of her top. “I gave my notice to the cleaning company.”

“Yes!” I drew her in for a hug. “I promise, it’ll all be okay.”

“I trust you, Jase. I’m just…”

“Mom,” I whispered. “Check the balance in our shared account.” We each had our own bank accounts then another that was where rent and utilities went. “I put enough money in there for whatever you and the kids need. Plus, remember I told you I already paid the rent. We’re fine.”

Mom nodded but I knew she’d still worry. “When will you guys be back?”

“Should be by the end of the week, wouldn’t you agree, Sikes?” Snipe asked him.

“Yeah, sounds about right. Since we’re donating the furniture, what we’re bringing will fit in our truck. I already reached out to Jordan and the center is sending a truck over Monday morning to load it up. A quick clean and we’ll be on the road.”

“Mom, I think we should do what they’re doing and donate our furniture, then order all new stuff.”

“Jason, this is getting very expensive. We don’t want to drain our accounts and wind up back where we started.”

It was gonna take some time to reprogram her.

“Mom, not only will I have another payout before we hit the road, but we now have four income-earning adults living in the same house. We’re not going back. From here, it’s only upward for our family.”

After the marketing meeting this morning I finally saw the positive trajectory through our social media platforms. River, Easton, and Jeremiah were excited with how quickly our following had grown. But they asked us for some new songs. I had a handful I’d started but none were finished. Guess I’d have time to do that during the drive back from Vegas this week.

Through all this Gabe remained silent, playing his game and ignoring everyone and everything around him. The kid was really disconnected. I only hoped once we got into the new house he’d come around.

“Mr. Sniper, will you color with me again?” Nolan was such a sweet, calm soul. The complete opposite of his twin.

“I’d love to, little man.”

With the kids occupied, I snagged a controller and sat beside Gabe. “Load up a new game. Let’s roll.” I held a fist out to bump his and he looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. “Dude, don’t leave me hanging.” He rolled his eyes and gave it a bump. “Weak, man.” But I glimpsed the grin he did his best to hide.

For so long Mom and I had tried to give the kids the time and attention they deserve but working as many hours as we did made it hard. I felt like that was part of Gabe’s issues. Now with these wonderful new men in our lives, every kid would have an adult like they should have had all along. And Mom, well, she has earned a much-needed break. Hopefully soon she’d get to treat herself to a quiet bubble bath and new hobbies.

This time on the road would be a hell of a lot less stressful knowing Mom had more time at home, and we were no longer scraping by in the fucking hood.

Mom wandered over to Sikes and Nicole and started talking to him about the house. I breathed a sigh of relief. That was one step forward and hopefully nothing would drag us back.

“Hey,” Gabe whispered. “Are they really both your boyfriends, like with sex and stuff, too?”

“Dude, not gonna talk to you about my sex life but I am here if you have any questions about your own.” Mom was great when I came out and we had such a strong relationship that I wasn’t worried when I told her I was gay. Did Gabe feel like he could come to us to if need be?

“Yeah, I, um…I know some stuff.”

“Well, if you want the truth, I’m your man. You know I’ll never lie to you.”

“I know. But, um, those guys are huge.”

I laughed so hard every head turned our way. “They’re gentle giants.”

“Hey, don’t ruin our reps.” Snipe’s weak protest was wasted on me.

“I like them,” Nolan said. “When they’re around it’s not so scary anymore.”

Heart. Broken.

I wondered how much money it would take to get the contractor to work double time.

Best not mention that to Easton or he’d make it happen. Taking advantage of anyone wasn’t happening. Especially not someone I respected as much as I did him. He and Diamond had already gone above and beyond not only with Chaotic but with my new relationship with Sikes and Snipe, and I refused to challenge that bond.

“Nolan, if you could have your room decorated any way you wanted, what would you choose?” I pretended to not hear Snipe’s question, but I always kept one ear in the headset while playing and the other tuned into what went on around me.

“Umm…” Nolan was by far the easiest kid in the house. He was a go with the flow guy and was just happy when someone played with him. “I don’t know. What should I like?”

“You are allowed to like anything you want. Don’t make choices just to please others, make the choices you know are right and make you happy.” I wanted to hug Snipe so badly. He and Sikes were perfect for this family and for me.

“I like animals. Puppies and kittens and fish and hamsters. We have a pet hamster in our class. His name is Chip. I didn’t get to name him.”

“Which animal is your absolute favorite?”

“Puppies. But I like cars, too. Will you teach me how to ride a bike? I keep asking Santa for one, but I must not be good enough.”

Fuck. My. Life.

“I’m sure Santa will see what a good boy you’ve been this year. So back to the room. I see a bunch of different stuff going on here. What’s your favorite color?” Knowing Sikes and Snipe both heard that, there was no way they weren’t getting the kids bikes whether for Christmas or sooner.

“Blue!” Nolan’s exuberant cheer rang throughout the room. “No, wait. Green!”

“What about you, bud?” I nudged Gabe’s shoulder. “How do you want to decorate your new room?”

“I don’t know. I’ll believe it’s true when my bed is in there.”

Yeah, the chip on his shoulder was gonna take some time to break down.

“Well, just think about it.” Snipe left it at that. His mind likely raced through all the things kids were into. Nolan was simple and would be ecstatic with anything he got. We may not have much when it came to possessions but what we lacked in physical items was made up for with love and an appreciation for what we did have.

“Jase, why don’t you put a movie in for the kids while we get dinner sorted?”

“Good idea, Mom. All right, Gabe, let’s shut it down.”

“I can’t wait to have my own room and my own TV,” Gabe complained but ultimately did what he was asked.

“Who said you’re getting your own TV?”

“It’s the first thing I’m buying when I’m old enough to get a job.”

“So with your own TV you don’t eat or sleep? You just play games nonstop?” Wasn’t that what he’d insinuated?

Blink. Blink.

“That’s what I thought. Go wash your hands.”

Freaking kid. But I’d gladly reward him with a TV if he pulled his head out of his ass.

“Want us to order something?” Snipe whispered to me. “I know we did pizza last time. Any…” before he could say suggestions, the twins cheered.

“Pizza!”

“On it!” Snipe had his phone out and the pizza ordered before Nolan and Nicole stopped doing their pepperoni dance.

“Let’s clean up.” Sikes and Snipe helped them put the tubs of toys away and I decided to run the vacuum really quick. I hadn’t been around much and wanted to do what I could while we were here. Even had time to pack a bag for the week before the pizza arrived.

“Jeez, may not be so bad living with so many helpers.” It was great to see Mom smile again.

Sikes and Snipe had all three kids at the table with drinks when the pizza arrived. We worked like a well-oiled cohesive team.

We had this whole family-living together scene down.

With dinner done we said our goodbyes, headed back to the hotel and packed what was spread out across the room then called it a night.

“Fizzbo said we had use of the airline president’s club lounge and they’d board us last into first class.” Glad Snipe mentioned that because the amount of heads turning as we walked by increased with each step.

As soon as we got through security they called for a cart that delivered us to the lounge and out of the public eye. Wasn’t sure if I was getting recognized or if they were enthralled with the giant men flanking each side of me. Most likely it was them trying to guess who the man between the two guards was. Chaotic was basically still virtual nobodies but that was quickly changing.

“Wow, much quieter in here.” Hands down to the architects for adding noise-cancelling insulation. “How’d Fizzbo swing this?”

“He’s a magical man and has connections literally everywhere,” Sikes replied as he took the seat to my left and Snipe took the right. “It’s been a while since any of us flew commercial. We’ve been a bit spoiled riding in the Masterson jet.”

“Josh, Marley, Nigel, and I all flew commercial to Anaheim.”

“We were on the buses with Embrace. How quickly everything’s changed.”

“Regrets, Sikes?” I sure as fuck hoped not. We’d slapped down a sweet deposit on the house already.

“Not a single one. Just moved faster than I expected, but you’re worth it. I have zero doubts or regrets.”

I turned to face Snipe. He’d been silent since we hit the security line. “You doing all right?”

“I am not a fan of crowds.”

“Yet you guard rockstars for a living.”

“Yet I fell in love with said rockstar I now guard. Crowds aren’t easily controlled. Anything can go wrong.”

“True, but we’re in an airport with loads of security. How do you handle it at the shows?” Fuck, if this was a trigger for him he was in the wrong line of work.

“Crowds are away from you guys and usually feet below you or behind fence lines. Here, piles of humans are all over. Running…” Snipe gazed off and I wondered if mentally he was still with us.

“Remember your breathing exercises, Snipe.” Sikes crouched in front of him. “Breathe with me, babe.”

This was the first PTSD episode I’d witnessed from either of them. Honestly, the crowds at SeaTac today were nowhere near how I’d seen them before, so I was a bit surprised this triggered him.

“Jase, this can happen anywhere to either one of us. It’s important you know how to handle it. Keep breathing with me, Snipe. Focus on me and my voice.” Sikes took both Snipe’s hands in his as they worked through it, soon breathing in unison. “Are you back with us?”

Snipe nodded.

I swear time stopped as soon as this happened, and I held my breath the entire time.

“It’s been a while since this has happened to either of us. Any idea what set you off?”

“My mind just got the best of me. Thoughts scrambled. I forgot where I was for a minute. Sorry, Jase.” Snipe’s eyes teared up.

“Don’t you ever apologize to me for this.” He was drenched in sweat. “Is it okay if I touch you?”

“Yes, please,” came out as a whimper. I threw my arms around him and hugged Snipe as tight as these damn chairs would allow.

“You didn’t choose this.” Imagine if he’d been alone. Thankfully that rarely happened with the two of them but think of all those in the world who suffered from PTSD. Left alone to struggle through their episodes. Broke my fucking heart. “Hey,” I tilted his chin toward me and pressed my forehead to his. “I love you and I’m here for you however you need me to be.”

“Thank you. I love you both.”

I wondered if it would be too forward of me to meet with their therapist or attend sessions with them.

“What are you thinking?” Sikes asked.

“Would it, um, do you think I’d benefit from—and let me know if this is overstepping. But would it be beneficial for me to meet with your therapist or attend sessions when possible with you guys?”

“That’s not too forward. You’re our partner and we need to operate on the same page, or we’ll fail. It’s a great suggestion but Jason, you must be prepared to handle what we share. Our lives have not been great, and it would break us to have you think less of us because of the abuse we were subjected to and what we had to do in order to survive.”

With each passing day l learned how Sikes became the chosen spokesperson for the duo. Snipe was far more reserved and not as open. Sikes was an assess, take control, and eliminate the threat, no-nonsense man.

Sikes pulled his phone out and stepped aside to make a call while I stayed with Snipe. The firm grip he had on my hand screamed don’t leave me. I had no intention of doing any such thing.

“I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing, but are you okay?”

“Yeah. Glad we have some time before we have to board. Takes a bit to fully come down from that.” Sikes handed him a bottle of water and wandered off again with the phone to his ear. “He’s likely calling the doc to let her know we’re moving and to, um, tell her what happened. That man has kept me right for twenty years.”

I could see that, though I kept those words to myself. Snipe had things he wanted to say, and I needed to listen.

“I never knew my family. Grew up in a series of abusive foster care homes. The kind of people who only do it for the monthly check and not for the love of children. I’ve been fighting for my life for nearly as long as I’ve been living it. Once I hit puberty and bulked up, I stood up for myself and got labeled a troublemaker. Made it hard for them to place me after that. The day I turned eighteen I enlisted. Got my ass handed to me a couple of times.” Snipe shook his head and grinned. “Deserved it. Smarted off to a couple of seasoned Marines.”

“When did you meet Sikes?”

“A couple years later. Saved my ass. I nearly got taken down on my first tour in Afghanistan.”

“First tour?”

“Yup. We did three in total. Hadn’t seen him before and yet we’d been in the same battalion. After that it seemed like we were on the same paths all the time. Next thing you know we were on the same fire team. Having a dead aim is both a blessing and a curse.” Snipe silently finished off his water as he once again stared off. Not so much in distress this time but deeper in thought. “That was that.”

What did one say to something like that? Were words even necessary or was I just the ear he needed to bend? I was good with that, just didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing.

“The first couple of years out, adjusting to civilian life was hell. More than once I wondered if we’d done the wrong thing by retiring. It was all I knew. The only job I ever had and with a regimented discipline it was like being tucked in nice and tight. No room for error or you lost your life. Sikes keeps me that way. That amazing man handles everything for us. He barks and I stand at attention. He’s everything I’ve ever needed without knowing I needed it. Does that make sense?”

“More than you know. I’m beginning to see the same in both of you. I thought I was good to go, just living and waiting for the break. I knew what I wanted for my family but no clue where to start. Then you guys came along and made the decisions for me.”

“That’s not necessarily a good thing.”

“In this case it is. I’ve been working forever just for us to survive. No time to focus on what I wanted out of life aside from the band. I’m not shopping for a daddy, but I do like not having to worry about making so many decisions anymore. I want to focus on the music and know that everyone I love is safe and taken care of. That’s hard to do while juggling a career.”

“Well, Sikes is the right one to keep us both in line. Between you and me, he’s always wanted a family of his own and he’s definitely the alpha in our relationship even though we both look the part.”

Note to self, not all that appeared to be alphas were alphas.

“Well, I think the three of us bring a nice balance to the trio. Watching you guys with my brothers and sister really struck me hard. We may be moving fast but it works for everyone, and I love how we all fell into place. Know what I mean?”

“I do,” Sikes said as he walked up to us. “We all good?”

“Yeah, we’re good. Is it time to board?” I was glad Snipe answered, that was really who Sikes wanted to hear from.

“Just about. They’re sending a cart to take us to the gate. Jason, you’re beside Snipe seat wise and I’m across the aisle from you.” Sikes didn’t need to say any more. He wanted to be on guard while Snipe hopefully relaxed.

“Sounds good.”