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Chapter One

Jason

“Mom, I’m home!” I called out as I stepped inside. My brother, Gabriel, was playing Xbox while the twins, Nicole and Nolan, played their noisy hippo board game. Their giggles filled the room as they devoured the marbles. Mom was in the kitchen making dinner before she had to get to her second job cleaning office buildings at night. I hated that she had to work so hard but that would soon come to an end.

“Hey, Jase, thanks for picking up the grocery order.”

“No problem, Mom. I’ve got the rent money, too, and goodies for the kids.” Surprised I made it through the living room without them spotting the Disney bags I had in hand having just returned from Chase and Casey’s wedding at the magical wonderland.

“What? How?” She stumbled over her words. Generally, the two of us were on the verge of selling a kidney come the first of the month to scramble to pay for the dingy two-bedroom apartment we rented for way too much and for way too long. Sad part was the landlord knew that and continually raised the rent to keep us in place knowing no one could save enough to afford first and last month’s rent somewhere new.

“We got our signing bonus this weekend.” Little did she know when I got my first royalty payout I planned to buy us a house. No more renting from slumlords in shitty hoods for the Stallworths.

Twenty-seven and still lived at home, though it wasn’t as bad as it sounded. Kinda. My mother had the worst taste in men and even four kids later was still as gorgeous as ever, which attracted the bottom feeders. Too bad the baby daddies only took what they wanted then magically disappeared when she wound up pregnant. As though she did that on her own or to trap their worthless asses. That went for all four of us kids and none of our dads paid a dime in child support or ever showed their faces again.

Technically, I’d been working since I was twelve. First babysitting for families in the complex then when I hit sixteen I got a job as a bag boy at the grocery store near our house. From there I worked my way up to a nighttime stocker position while doing side gigs at clubs. Now, I was finally down to one job that paid far more than any others had. Problem with that was it left Gabriel to be the man of the house while I was on the road. Granted, he was the same age as I was when I started babysitting, but Gabriel lacked the discipline I had. He was far too angry to watch more than our six-year-old brother and sister and even that was pushing it.

“Gabriel, come help with dinner.” Mom’s request fell on deaf ears so as usual it was up to me. He’s the one I worried about the most living in the seedy part of town. His anger worsened with each passing day, and I feared he’d make bad choices because of it.

“I got ya, Mom. By the way, I brought you something from Disneyland, too.”

“Wait, Disneyland?” That opened closed ears and if the three of them had wings they’d have flown into the kitchen in a feathered frenzy.

“You’re so lucky, Jase,” Nicole hugged one leg while Nolan gripped the other.

“I was there for a wedding, but I brought everyone something back. Clean up your toys and get ready for dinner then I’ll hand them out.” With a heavy sigh my dramatic siblings returned to the living room like a bunch of defeated pups. “The faster you clean the quicker you get your gifts.” That struck excitement in the twins, but Gabriel continued to bitch and moan.

I handed them each a bag. The twins hugged and thanked me then skipped off to dig into them. Reluctantly, Gabriel took his and muttered a hard to hear thanks.

“I don’t know what to do with him anymore, Jase,” Mom whispered as we filled the plates.

“He better pull his head out of his ass soon.” Before it was too late, though I purposely left that off. Mom may work a lot, but she worried about us equally as much. She really was a great mom and went without before she let that happen to any of us kids. She just made shitty choices where men were concerned.

“When do you leave again?”

“Not until like March or April.” Note to self, get the schedule from Jeremiah. “Our first CD releases in March.”

“I’m so ridiculously proud of you. You worked hard and stayed true to you. All those nights of singing the little ones to sleep really paid off. You’ve been a godsend, Jase. I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.” She hugged me. “I love you.”

“Love you, too, Mom.” Hopefully soon I’d have even better news for her. Preorders for our upcoming CD were going great and the day it dropped, so would our royalty payment. Now, to make it financially until then.

Three very long months.

With dinner done and the kids in bed, I plopped down on the couch which also served as my bed and recapped the strange turn of events from this past week. I’d noticed their watchful eyes before, but all the guards were paid to keep us in line. It wasn’t until they texted and asked if we could talk that I found out there was more to it.

Sikes and Snipe.

I knew nothing about them other than they were Embrace’s guards. Hell, I didn’t even know their real names, yet they were interested in dating me and dropped that bombshell in the hotel bar, making it crystal clear that it was for more than a hook-up.

Up until now, it’d been easy to avoid relationships between working and helping with the kids. A quick orgasm here and there with nothing more. But did I want that now? A relationship, that was. And with two men?

Couldn’t deny since our conversation the idea hadn’t left my head. Jesus, two gorgeous hulking men who’d been together for what sounded like forever. How did that even work? They weren’t the usual type I went for but then again, did I even have a type? And a poly one. Wouldn’t one of us, likely me, be odd man out?

I showered and made up the sofa then fired off a text in the Chaotic chat to schedule a practice session for Friday. But before I could, one came through from Josh.

Josh: The band playing at Reagan’s on Friday night just cancelled. You guys feel like filling in?

Marley: Sorry bros, but this bassist has a date.

Nigel: I’m gonna lay low and hang with my daughter.

Josh: Down for an acoustic, Jase?

One of the smartest things we did as a band was sign Josh as our guitarist. Had the road been easy acclimating him to our style or shutting up the haters? Nah, but merging the two worlds proved to be best for the band. Now I considered him one of my best friends and his boyfriend, Reagan, was the bomb.

Me: Yeah, I’m down.

Josh: Sweet, I’ll let him know.

Reagan used to pay us to play but now we let him keep the funds in the coffer to help bring in other up and coming bands and give them a chance at achieving their dreams. Masterson paid us well and while on the road all expenses were covered. This was our way of giving back not only to Reagan for all he did for us but to the local band scene as well. Now that Stoli and Diamond were in contact with Reagan, Reagan shared his entertainment schedule with them in case they wanted to scope out new talent.

My professional life had changed so much over the last year. It was awesome that those I’d idolized were now also friends. The guys from Social, Maiden and even Embrace the Fear were part of the family. Now it was time to get my blood-related family into a better situation, which started with reaching out to a key lifeline.

Me: Hey, wanted to let you guys know Josh and I are doing an acoustic at Reagan’s Friday night.

Stoli: Right on. Babe, do we have anything going on?

Shit, their presence would surely send security and the hotel into a tizzy.

Joey: Nada that I see. We’re down.

And just that easy, they were in. Chaotic was truly blessed having these guys in our wheelhouse. Plus, they were cool as fuck to hang out with.

Me: Sweet. I’m in need of a real estate contact.

Stoli: I thought you lived in an apartment with the fam.

Me: I do but I want to upgrade our sitch. You guys know an agent?

Joey: We do. Easton hooked Social up with one when the four of us were looking for homes.

A few seconds later a picture of a business card came through.

Me: You guys are the bomb. Can’t wait to see you both Friday night.

Contentment wasn’t always enough. As I sat there reflecting on the humble beginnings I came from, after busting my ass for as long as I had, a sense of loneliness hit when above all else I should have been elated. Not a familiar feeling given all the rugrats in the house and being my first night home. This was too weird. Restless and wide awake, I flipped through the channels before I finally relented to the niggling itch.

“Fuck it.”

Me: Hey

Really, Jason, that’s the best you’ve got? Hey? Really mature. When the bubbles on the screen appeared, I held my breath until the return text came.

Sikes: Everything okay?

I imagined them both wide awake, staring at their phones and wondering what the fuck was wrong with me.

Snipe: Need us to catch the next flight out to Seattle?

Great, now my dumbass made them worry.

Me: Nah, I’m good.

Just bored? Thinking about you guys? Wondering what the hell was going on? So much to say yet nothing to say at all. Even in my head that made zero freaking sense and was lame as fuck.

Sikes: We’ve got some down time with Embrace being home.

Did I want them to come up here? Where would they stay? What would it mean? I had far too many questions and not enough answers.

Snipe: Deuce mentioned in passing he was due for a vacation. Maybe we could give him a break. Chaotic got anything on the schedule that would warrant a guard or two to assist with?

Light. Bulb.

Me: Actually, Josh and I are doing an acoustic set Friday night at his boyfriend’s bar. Stoli and Joey are supposed to be there, too.

Could this work? Did I want it to work? Shit, even the mere thought had my heart racing.

Ahhh! Fuck my overanalytical brain. I got why it worked that way having spent my entire life fighting for everything and trusting nothing and no one but my mom. But damn. Did I go for it and hope it didn’t implode and risk ruining Chaotic’s future, or take the easy road and back off before hearts were involved?

Hook-ups were so much easier and less messy.

But when had I ever done anything that was just for me?

That answer came easily—never.

Sikes: Let us make a call and get the ball rolling.

Snipe: Fizzbo?

Wait, weren’t they in the same place?

Sikes: First Deuce.

Fizzbo intimidated the shit out of me, and I didn’t even work for him.

Me: I don’t want to cause any problems.

Snipe: Deep breath, Jason. Remember, we invited you in, not the other way around.

Sikes: And it was after we discussed it at length. Snipe and I keep nothing from each other. We want this and we want to do this. It’s a win-win for all.

Me: If you’re sure…

Snipe: We are.

Sikes: Definitely. We’ll be in touch tomorrow. For now, get some shut eye.

That felt like a direct order.

Me: Sir, yes, sir!

Sikes: I don’t know if you’re into spanking but you sure are asking for one.

Snipe: Jesus, do not head down that road with Sikes. It’s an endless loop…

I heard one growl while the other groaned in their deep timbres inside my head. Hmm, I wonder if I could mimic them in a song…

Me: I’ll remember that. Goodnight.

Sikes: Night.

Snipe: Night.

Well, there was no turning back now. Time to ride it out and see where it led.

“What are you still doing up?” Mom came in not long after the interesting chat session ended. My mind was still overanalyzing every word of it.

“Meh, just got a lot going on and my brain won’t shut off. How was work?”

“About as uneventful as it can be, cleaning up after adults. Did the kids give you a fit going to bed?”

“Nah, they were too excited to curl up with the new stuffies I got them. When I last checked they were out.” Thankfully. I wasn’t sure how much of Gabriel’s smart mouth and bad attitude I could deal with. We didn’t hit in this house but the boy was on the verge of a stern talking to.

She plopped down on the loveseat and propped her feet up on the coffee table. “Jase, I’ve relied on you too much. You’ve been a son, babysitter, and at times the only father these kids have ever known. You’re twenty-seven and should be out enjoying your rockstar status. It’s selfish of me to expect you to stay with us forever.”

“No, it’s not, Mom. Don’t talk like that. We’re a family and families take care of their own.” Or they should. I’d heard way too many horror stories from others such as Josh who had shittastic family lives. Made me appreciate what we had even more.

“How is it that your own child can be your best friend at the same time?”

“Mom, you were barely sixteen when you had me. We grew up together, got through shit as a unit, but it’s getting better. That much I can promise you.”

“Not sure anyone can promise that.”

I took her hands in mine. I hated it when she got down on herself. “I can. I’ll never forget where I came from or all the sacrifices you made for us. I couldn’t have asked for a better, more loving mother. Sure, we made some mistakes along the way.” She laughed as tears rolled down her face. “I love you, Mom, and I promise it will get better.” It took all the restraint I had not to tell her about buying a house, but I had to remind myself in the end it would be the best surprise of her life.

“I trust you, Jase. You’re the only person in the world I can say those words to.”

“I’ll never take them for granted nor do anything to make you feel otherwise.”

“All right, my sweet boy. Enough of this mushy stuff,” she winked. “It’s time for this old ass lady to get to bed.”

“Sleep in tomorrow, Mom, I’ll get the kids ready and off to school.” You’d think she’d be out of tears by now, though twice as many fell as before. With a nod, she headed down the hallway to her room.