Page 110 of Her Destined Alpha (Alpha #3)

Alejandro

I made my way back to the mansion, a place that still held Raf’s scent that was steadily fading. The pain that was eating away at me at his loss was fucking suffocating.

I wouldn’t lie; I did break down in Kiara’s arms. I wished I hadn’t wasted the fucking past pushing him away.

I wished I had so many more fucking memories and time with him, but the thing was, no matter how much I fucking wanted it, I didn’t.

My brother was gone, the fucking angel who kept my sanity from spiralling completely.

The silence in the mansion was deafening. Flashes of memories came to the forefront of my mind… everything he said to me in these very halls, his promises that he kept but I didn’t believe. His love that I denied, his worry that fucking angered me. I sucked my breath in, exhaling sharply.

Focus, Al, focus.

Today I was going to complete the one silent wish that he never uttered, for Maria and me to make amends. We never saw fucking eye to eye. She didn’t like me, and she was afraid. I never thought much of it, but something that I said earlier in Raf’s office was niggling at my mind.

I never asked the reason. Why did she fucking hate me?

I just never cared. We formally greeted each other when we saw each other, and she was good with my kids and Kiara, so I didn’t really give a fuck. But now, I want the reason because I wanted to fix it for Rafael.

I looked around the lounge and downstairs, but she wasn’t there.

I made my way upstairs. Silence. Fuck, she was always so fucking silent, a trait that Rayhan had inherited from her.

He was the best tracker because of her abilities.

He could hide himself well, just like she could.

I noticed that when I was younger, she would enter, and you wouldn’t actually fucking realise.

I had to strain my ears, but wherever she was, she was fucking silent. I went to their bedroom… Raf’s bedroom. Fuck, this is painful.

I knocked lightly. No answer. I frowned. Was she not there?

I opened the door just as the door to the ensuite opened. Maria stepped out in fucking lingerie, a towel in her hand as she dried her long hair. She gasped, her eyes flying open, covering her breasts with the tiny towel, turning her back to me.

“Fuck, sorry!” I looked away, freezing, and turned back sharply, my eyes going to her back. I caught a glimpse of it before she disappeared back into the bathroom, slamming the door. Claw marks. She had four huge scars across her back. When the fuck had she ever gotten hurt?

I scrubbed a hand down my face. This was fucking awkward…

“I’ll wait outside until you’re done,” I said, sounding colder than I meant to. I shut the door loudly. Just great, nice fucking start.

Five minutes later, she opened the door, her face in its usual stoic mask.

Thankfully, she was fully dressed. I think even Raf might come back to kill me if he found out I saw his mate practically naked.

Why the fuck do women have to have such skimpy lingerie?

Actually, I’m not complaining. I like Kiara in them.

Okay, fuck, I’m going off-topic. I sighed, and she crossed her arms. I looked at her, thinking she always had her back covered and dressed pretty modestly for the most part. No wonder I never saw her back before…

“Can I help you?” she asked emotionlessly.

I looked into her grey eyes. Despite how well she was masking her emotions, the pain in them was fucking obvious. I strolled into the room, walked over to the huge doors that led to the balcony, and looked out onto the garden.

“How are you holding up?” I asked.

“Well, thank you,” she said. Lie.

“Oh yeah? Then you’re the first fucking person to hold up well after losing a mate,” I remarked coldly.

She stayed silent, and I clenched my jaw. I hated how she was always so fucking antagonising. I glared at the garden, thinking she was always fucking silent. Every time Raf and I argued, she’d stay silent…

“Why the fuck are you always so fucking silent?” I asked quietly, turning to her. I felt angry all of a sudden. Didn’t she fucking care for her mate? She looked at me, her eyes flashing with hurt, but it was gone as fast as it came.

“If you are done, you can go,” she said coldly.

“I am not done. I want answers, Maria, and don’t give me that usual blank fucking bullshit. Why the fuck didn’t you ever get angry? Fuck, if it was Kiara in your place, she’d never let anyone treat her mate like that, didn’t you love-”

“ Don’t ! Don’t ever say I loved my mate any less than yours loves you!” she shouted. Good. She fell for it.

“Well doesn’t seem like you cared.” Her eyes were filled with pain, and she clenched her fists in anger, her eyes flashing a dazzling blue.

“I stayed silent for him! I hated everything you did to him! You would beat him to within an inch of his life, and I wished you would leave! I didn’t want you near him!

But I stayed silent to not cause him any more pain!

” she shouted, her voice breaking as she continued.

“I stayed silent so I didn’t cause him more pain!

The pain you caused him was far more than he deserved!

Every time you hurt him, I felt it! I felt his pain, but for him and for his love for you, I took it! ”

That was the answer. The answer to her behaviour towards me…

it wasn’t her arrogance… it was her fucking sacrifice for her mate.

For Raf’s fucking sake, she tolerated me…

fuck. She tolerated me. The realisation that I had put her through hell and back and still treated her like she didn’t fucking matter…

Fuck …

I ran my hand through my hair as I stared into her grey eyes. Her eyes glittered with tears, and a fleeting memory of a rainy night flashed through my mind. Raf falling to the ground… Maria’s scream…

My heart thundered. Closing the gap between us, I grabbed her upper arms. I didn’t miss the way she tensed at my touch.

“Maria... those scars on your back... how did you get them?” I asked quietly.

Please, tell me I’m wrong . The fear that was consuming me that I might have hurt my own brother’s mate… Please, Goddess, no. She refused to look at me or speak. Her lips pressed together, quivering slightly, but she remained stubborn.

“Maria… please,” I practically begged.

Silence.

Please…

“Maria…” I pleaded. I went down to my knees to get a better look at her eyes, which were refusing to look up at me. The tears she had refused to shed were spilling down her cheeks, making my fucking heart clench.

“Please don’t ask.”

“Why?”

“If you loved Rafael, then you won’t ask me,” she said quietly. I narrowed my eyes.

“And if you loved your mate, you will tell me,” I growled.

We were fucking worlds apart, two people who had nothing in common nor saw fucking eye to eye. But we had one very important thing in common… the love for Raf.

“I don’t need to prove my love for my mate,” she shot back, her eyes flashing in defiance.

I realised as I stared up into her eyes that were so similar to Rayhan’s, that I was wrong about Maria.

She wasn’t just a haughty, arrogant princess…

but a fucking strong queen who stood by her mate in the hardest way.

I smirked, taking her hands that she had balled into fists and forcing them open as I held them.

I got my answer. There would only be one reason she was refusing to tell me, to uphold Raf’s wish, knowing that I’d feel like fucking shit if I knew. He probably didn’t tell me back then, knowing I’d run away… and I fucking would have.

There were blanks in my memory. Most of the time, I would lose control and go on a rampage…

I had hurt her, but for my sake, both she and Raf stayed quiet. Fuck…

“Then answer one question… did I do that to you?” I asked, letting my Alpha command roll into my voice, my eyes flashing red as I awaited her answer. “Answer me.”

She pressed her lips together, but she wasn’t strong enough to fight the command of the Lycan King.

“Yes,” she whispered, her lips trembling as she fought against my command.

My chest tightened as I realised that no fucking saint could ever love someone after they hurt their mate… but Raf…

“You didn’t come after me, though. You were attacking Rafael, but he wasn’t able to stop you that time…” Was she fucking trying to defend my actions? “You were going for the final attack, but he wouldn’t have survived… so I ran-”

“To protect your mate…” I finished, looking at the ground. My heart thundered. Fuck… Raf… Why? Was I fucking worth that much to you?

Memories of long ago flashed through my head. The way she hadn’t allowed the kids to come stay at my pack... the way she always stayed away from me…

“We both know your mate hates me. But yeah, it’s good. I am a fucking monster. Her attitude fucking pisses me off…”

“It’s not like that, Al... she isn’t like that…”

I had fucking said hurtful stuff about her, and he never once got angry. I must have hurt him so fucking much with my words, but he took it…

I looked up at her, seeing her in an entirely fucking new light.

“Why didn’t you heal?” I asked hoarsely.

“I was pregnant with Raihana. There was something wrong with me, I was ill throughout her pregnancy, we now presume it was due to her being a witch. I couldn’t heal well back then,” she replied quietly.

Another fucking slap to the face. I could have killed Ri… For her to risk her child meant I would have definitely killed Raf that night…

I stood up slowly, letting go of her hands.

“I’m sorry, Maria. I fucking am,” I whispered.

She looked up at me, confused, and for a moment, I saw Raihana. They had a lot of similarities, and I wondered how I had never seen them before. I cupped her face, surprising the both of us. But hey, if I could love my niece, then I could love her mother.

“I am fucking sorry, Maria… I wish I had done this sooner... but can we start afresh? I know I can’t make up for all the shit I put you through, but I will be here for you just the way Raf was there for me. I fucking promise. For you, the kids, just give me one more chance,” I asked quietly.

I brushed her tears away with my thumbs, and she slowly gripped my wrists, seeming to hesitate.

“Just one more fucking chance. I promise this time I won’t fuck up. For Raf?” I asked. Fresh tears fell down her face before she nodded hesitantly, and I felt some relief. I smirked. She only agreed because of those last two words. “The fucker still wins,” I said softly.

She gave a small, weak smile, and I let go of her face, wrapping my arms around her tightly. I promise I will take care of her. I’ll be the best brother to her, the way I should have been to you, Raf. Forgive me.