Page 30 of Heartless Heathens

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket and I walked up the stairs to the top of the auditorium. I recognized the blonde chick from the dormitories and took the empty seat next to her.

“Did you find your mystery girl?” she whisper-yelled to me like I wasn’t already putting my things down next to her.

“Actually, I did. Did you miss the show last night?” I smirked, surprised that word hadn’t spread of the performance between Sonny and Frollo last night.

“Is that what the commotion was all about? I just thought another one of Frollo’s desperate little boys were crying for attention and begging for an A,” she said looking forward but before I could question on the intricacies of whatever the fuck that was, Sister Sophia smacked her ruler over her podium to quiet the chatter.

“Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday shall we? Exodus. Who would care to read?”

I groaned, sinking into my seat and popping on some earbuds to drown out the sounds of mind melting indoctrination. Everywhere else in the world, people my age were getting to go to school to be doctors, lawyers, teachers, and scientists. I was here listening to a reading from the Bible.

It made me nauseous to think about how this country had once been the hope for so many. Once upon a time, immigrants and refugees came here for a better opportunity and a new life. Now, we were the immigrants, always trying to find a way out and a country who would take us in so that we could escape the reality of the new world.

SONNY: I can’t take her out of this chapel.

ME:Why not?

SONNY:In a fucking muddy nightgown?

“I need to borrow some clothes, can you drop by the chapel with a few things?”

“You’re not gonna fit in my clothes.”

“They’re not for me.”

“Oh shit! The ghost?” she squeaked out.

“If you can bring over a few things she can wear till we get her some proper clothes, I’d be grateful.”

“Sure, but I want to meet her,” she said like she was calling all the shots here.

ME:My new friend will be dropping by after class to help you with your problem. We can trade off after this lecture and I’ll bring her to the next class.

SONNY:No chance. I have Frollo in two hours, I’m bringing her. I want him to have to stare into her face and pretend like he doesn’t have a clue who she is.

ME:She’s not a spy. Be nice or I’ll come get her.

SONNY:Good luck, she looks better with my leash around her neck.

What the fuck did that mean?

My first lecture of the day ended, and I didn’t bother heading back to the chapel. I had fifteen minutes to grab a snack from a vending machine and head to the next lecture hall where Sister Sophia would likely already be punishing anyone who came in anything later than five minutes early. It didn’t even matter that this was the most tolerable lecture of the day.

Calculus.

Fucking calculus

God ruled everything here, and we were still doing fucking math.

WhenIwasverylittle, Father Frollo brought me a video cassette of the movie Bambi. He said I needed to learn about life and death and he didn’t have the time or patience to explain it to me. For three years it was the only thing I had to entertain me in the belltower, unless I was watching the students below me, of course.

There was a scene right after he was born, where he walks with new legs and they are awkward and clumsy. He eyes the world with curiosity and an appetite for new knowledge that’s nearly insatiable.

I felt like Bambi right now.

My terror for the blue eyed one was starting to dull the longer he loomed over me with his angry stare. He looked at me like if he stared hard enough I’d somehow disappear. It would be easier if I could.

At some point in the night while I laid awake, I thought about every single moment that Father Frollo and I shared together. None of those moments or memories brought a single feeling of joy. Instead most of my time with him had been dictated by either fear or loathing.