Page 119 of Heartless Heathens

“That doesn’t work with me,” he said, but I couldn’t will it inside me to turn my gaze up to meet his.

“Hey, just chill, she’s not doing so well.” Felix tried but was cut short by Sonny’s response.

“She trusted him over us.”

But that wasn’t true.

Was it?

“That’s not what happened!” I cried out, pulling Sonny’s attention back to me.

“No? You didn’t specifically ask me if you could talk to him? I didn’t tell you myself that nothing good would come of Claüde Frollo getting near you?” His voice raised with every word he spoke. “But you didn’t trust me. You had to see for yourself.” He was practically shouting, even though his demeanor didn’t allow for it. “Is that not what happened, Romina?”

“Sonny, you're scaring me.” I shrank down.

I let out a hearty sob and I let myself collapse under the weight of the truth. He was right, Frollo’s hold on me kept me unable to live and think independently for myself. I still secretly craved the cruelty he dished out because it was the closest thing to love that I ever knew. Even now, after everything, I was still desperate for a kind word from him, for something that would make all the pain worth it.

“I needed to know.” I sobbed between hiccupped breaths. “I needed to know why I was disposable. What it all had been for.”

His teeth clinked together with a snap.

“Get out,” he said, making my blood turn cold.

I’d broken what had already been cracked.

“What?” Felix said.

“Get out, Romina.” He pointed to the door, my bottom lip quivered as I did my best to fight back tears.

A losing game.

The same deafening silence muted everything just as it did before. I felt the walls closing in on me and my universe began to shrink down around me with the decisiveness of Sonny’s words.

“You don’t mean that Sonny. He doesn’t mean that Mina,” Felix reassured me softly, but Sonny’s upper lip peeled up at his friend’s attempt to soothe me.

“Don’t speak for me. You can go as well if you think she deserves another second of our protection. If I see you again, youwillregret it.” He dropped the ultimatum like a heavy anchor, the expression on Felix’s face was painful enough to tear my heart into pieces.

I wouldn’t ask him to do that.

They began to argue and I stood on my own, not bothering to look back as I made my way out of the chapel. The rain began to trickle down slowly at first and I picked up my pace with it once the water dropped faster. I didn’t understand how in just a matter of hours everything could have gone so wrong. I just needed to get to the dormitories, find Reesa.

She would help me.

BythetimeImade it to the dorms the rain was beating down in a violent cascade, almost bruising me with each heavy droplet against my skin. The door was locked, and Reesa sat behind a desk, her head laid down and her eyes closed. I didn’t know where my phone was, there was a good chance it was in the chapel or it might have gotten left behind in the cathedral.

I didn’t even know what time it was.

It was late, that’s about as much as I knew.

I beat the back of my fist against the glass door, it took multiple tries but eventually she raised her head, her eyes going wide with recognition as she took me in. Reesa ran to me, opening the door and pulling me inside.

“What’s going on? Why do you look like hell?” she asked, but I didn’t answer.

I collapsed into her arms and did the only thing I knew how to do anymore these days.

I let my tears take over.

It wasn’t enough. I wanted to drown in them. I needed to fill my lungs up with their salt until I choked, my muscles gave out and I went quietly into the darkness.