Page 66 of Healing Conviction
“Are you out of your godsdamned mind?” She scoffed and pointed at his already softening dick. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but IthinkI was busy giving you a stellar ‘good morning blow job’ that you stopped mid-orgasm like an actual fucking lunatic.”
“Ha, I don’t think so.” He huffed and dropped her arm before shoving himself painfully back into his sweats. An acidic mixture of varying emotions boiled in his veins with hurt rising to the top. “There was no way I was coming with you looking at me likethat.”
“Like what?”
“Like a fucking lifeless sex doll! If I wanted to jack off into a void, I could use my own hand.”
The air stilled in the tent and he watched as her fury transformed in front of him into something heartbreaking.
“A… avoid? You think… I’mnothing?”
As soon as she said the words, all the heat left his body. He reached for her reddening face as her teary eyes closed. “Fuck, Nora. I didn’t mean it like—”
She waved her hand at him and took a steadying breath. When she opened her eyes again, the tears were gone and a flippant smile took over her face. The only evidence that she was upset was the redness remaining in the whites of her eyes.
“Someonesure got up on the wrong side of the sleeping bag. Noted, yes to road head, no to morning head. Don’t worry, next time you go down on me, I won’t return the favor again.”
“Returningthefavor?” A thought popped into his head. “What about the first time? At the beach? Should I have returned the favor?”
“No, of course not.” Her face scrunched up and her confusion would’ve been adorable if the rest of her answer wasn’t so fucked up. “You were upset with me then and I was making you feel better.”
His heart dropped. “Did you just hear yourself? Last night wasn’t a fuckingfavorand I don’t need you tomake me feel betterwith a goddamn blow job. We’re not transactional and you mean more to me than an exchange of orgasms. I don’t think you’re nothing, Nora. You’reeverything. But when you don’t even look at me, I feel like a random dick to you.”
She waved both her hands and an awkward laugh escaped her. “Okay, okay, okay. Whatever. I got it. Sorry, I didn’t realize looking at you was so godsdamned important, geez—”
She began to sit up, but he tugged her back down and used his hand under her jaw to turn her face. “Pix, stop. I wantedyou. Here withme. Don’t you get it? That’s all I want.”
She gulped, her eyes wide as they searched his. After a moment of them both catching their breath, her bottom lip quivered. “All you want is me. A-all of me?”
Hope lighted in his chest that she finally understood, and he nodded. “Yeah, baby. All of you. That’s all I need.”
“All you need… is everything. I…” She averted her eyes and her lips tightened into a grim line before she spoke, her voice cracking on the last word. “I can’t do that. I’m s-sorry.”
He blinked and dropped his hold on her. Every thought, every emotion, ceased and he let the numbness wash over him as she turned to leave the tent without looking back.
This time, when she ran away, he let her go.
CHAPTERTWENTY-FIVE
“If a giant falls in the forest, and no one is around, does he make a sound?”
Nora watched, her heart squeezing as Drake riffled through his bag, hoping he’d take the bait. He’d been in a sassy ass mood all morning. Scratch that,bothof them had been. One of them was better at hiding it than the other apparently.
“Is that supposed to be some kind of joke?” He continued to jam items into his bag, obviously pretending like she wasn’t hilarious.
Still a grumpy lump, I see.
“Depends on you, my handsome giant. If you let me go with you, then there’s a punch line. But if you go limping in the woods all by yourself, thenyou’llbe the punch line.”
His back stiffened. Her core clenched, her heart panicked, and her brain did an obnoxious little ‘I told you so’ dance.
She’d never had to tamp down so many conflicting feelings all at once in her life, but with Drake, even his back muscles made her pussy flutter. Her heart and body were already in too deep, berating herself for not opening up to the man when he clearly wanted it. And her mind reminded her that this sullen behavior was one of the exact reasons why she did the right thing shutting him down.
He’s allowed to have feelings.
Yeah, but I’m allowed to keep mine to myself.
Hiding myself made him look like I crashed his truck and set it on fire!