Page 19 of Healing Conviction

“I don’t think I can go then.” She blurted out the rejection first and winced after. Shoot, she was bungling this upbad.

Break it off with him… You know you want to.

Wait, whyyyy does my inner monologue sound like an evil villain?

“You can’t gothen, huh?” Matt chuckled, but the tinge of resignation made her feel like she’d kicked a puppy. “I didn’t even saywhen.” He used both hands to massage his forehead. “Listen, I know you were hinting at it yesterday, and as much as I hate to say it, I do think we need to have a talk.”

Oh, thank the gods and goddesses in the heavens. He knows.

“We were such good friends before we… I think we should have more quality time. It feels like we’ve been drifting apart for the past couple of months.”

“Dude, we never driftedtogether.” She slapped her hand over her mouth and shook her head at Matt’s shocked expression.

That was out loud. Damn it, she’d wanted to let him down gently. She was usually better than this, but Draco had really riled her up earlier and she’d lost focus.

“I’msosorry. Ignore me. I had kind of a big day at work.” Remembering that Drake had volunteered them, she clung to the excuse like a lifeline. “Actually, I’m already going on a work trip.”

Matt’s head tilted to the side. “A work trip? What work trip?”

The anxiety that had made her so on edge started to dissipate now that she had an out. “A colleague and I got tasked with it today. But I don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“A colleague? Um…” He gave an awkward laugh and scrubbed the back of his head. “Don’t you work at a law firm with Jules Bellarose? I’m surprised she wants to travel with an infant.”

Shiitake mushrooms.

“I-I’m not going with Jules.” She’d have to finesse the truth a little to avoid breaking Matt’s heart. Not many guys would be stoked to hear the girl they like is going on a business trip with another man, let alone the man she’d been keeping vigil over the past year. “I’ve gotten a special assignment. It’s a new thing with the firm. It’s, um, it’s not with Jules. It’s with Drake.”

She groaned inwardly at the instant hurt in his deep brown eyes. It was palpable and she felt like such a jerk for putting it there.

“A work trip, huh? Didn’t he work at a security firm before he got shot? And—you know—notwith the law firm you’re an assistant at?”

Go ahead. Let me have it.

She looked around to see how many witnesses would be around when he made a scene, but the small, resigned smile on his face confused the heck out of her.

“Babe, who are you tryna fool? If you don’t like me, just say so.” He shrugged with a soft laugh.

“What? It’s a work trip! We’ve gotta figure something out for a… case. Go talk to a few witnesses and then we’ll be back. Easy peasy. Maybe we can go after that?”

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. He’s literally giving me an out. What the heck am I doing?

It was one thing to ‘real talk’ strangers and friends, to convince them to leave their abusers, listen to their decisions, and encourage them to finally live the life they deserved. She could do that all day and night.

But when it came to doing the same thing for herself? Yeah, total fail, especially when it came to relationships. She always took the coward’s way out and either ended it before it began, or let it drag on too long out of fear of hurting the guy’s feelings.

Yup. Kissing Matt had been a huge mistake.

He shook his head and huffed a laugh. “Babe… Nora… you’ve never looked at me the way you look at him. And damn, the way he looks at you? Whew… it might start out as a work trip, but it won’t end up that way. I can guarantee you that.”

Nora’s cheeks heated. She wanted to deny it, but not nearly as much as she hoped he was right.

“Just tell me this… when I asked you if y’all dated—”

“Matt, we never did. I swear.”

He nodded before taking a sip of water and studying her over the rim. “But you want to, right?”

Nora tongued the flat back of her piercing inside her mouth before sighing and admitting the truth. “Honestly? I don’t think I know how to date. And even if I did, I don’t think he’d want to.”