Page 153 of Haze of Obedience

I wrap the knife with a towel and put it in my purse. I wipe the blood off my hand with a washcloth and put that with the weapon.

I glance at my arm and the scar that I have from my accident and vow never to let anyone cover it up.

After I put on my coat, I look in the mirror and make sure nothing seems abnormal and shove my shaking hands in my pockets.

With my heart beating hard in my chest, I leave his room, and when I get outside, I jump in the first cab I see.

As soon as I get into the apartment, I bleach the knife. Then I strip down, put all my clothes and the towels from my purse in a metal wastebasket. I scrub my skin until I'm sure there is no blood on me.

Wearing a robe, I step out onto the balcony and light the trash can on fire. I watch it burn until everything is just ash.

I cool the can with ice water, then dump the contents into the toilet.

When there is nothing left to do, only then do I go to bed and allow myself to break down.