Page 108 of Haze of Obedience

"I have numbing cream in my bag. Come upstairs, Zoe. I need to clean up, and then I can put it on."

I agree, and we go to our room.

As soon as the door is closed, he pulls me into his chest, and I bawl like a baby. "It hurts so bad."

He kisses my head. "Let me get cleaned up, so I don't give you an infection."

I take a few shaky breaths.

The room has a bathroom attached to it. I get out the first aid kit and sit on the bed and wait while he showers. I sort all the items out, one by one, looking at the ingredients.

It only makes me cry harder. My arm throbs. There doesn't seem to be anything I can take. The more I stare at the medication, the more I debate if I'm overreacting and shouldn't just take it.

I'm clutching a bottle of painkillers when Dirk comes out in nothing but his rattlesnake necklace and a towel around his waist. He sits next to me and wraps his hand over mine. He quietly asks, "What's going through your mind, my Little Diva?"

I close my eyes, and more tears fall.

He tugs me on his lap, then creates a fist around mine again. "Talk to me."

So much shame fills me. "I'm so weak."

"No, you aren't."

"I am. I'm wondering what happens if I take this. Will it really harm me if it's just for my arm? And I know I shouldn't even be thinking this. I need to be strong, and I'm not," I sob.

He makes me look at him. "You're the strongest woman I know."

"I'm not."

"You are. And anyone in your shoes would be asking themselves the same question."

"Why does this have to even be an issue? I just want to be normal," I whisper.

His hazel eyes never leave mine. "Normal is overrated. You're too spectacular to be average."

"I'm not. I couldn't even make you tamales. Everyone had to jump in and help. I just wanted to do one nice thing for you, and I couldn't even do that," I admit.

He freezes, and the green in his eyes flickers. "You were making me tamales when this happened?"

"Well, I didn't get very far because I had just gotten the water to boil so I could steam the husks when the earthquake happened."

"You were making me real tamales?"

"I wanted to. But I couldn't even do that. They're down in the oven, but everyone else had to help. I just sat and dictated what to do like the diva I am," I say in disgust.

A smile plays on his lips. "Well, you are my Little Diva."

"It's not funny."

He pecks me on the lips. "No. It's not funny you got hurt. But I'm going to eat those tamales happily tonight. And I'm pretty excited that you weren't pulling my chain about knowing how to make real tamales."

"Why do you keep saying real tamales. You do know I'm Mexican, right?"

He chuckles. "Yeah. It's just another trait I love about you."

I freeze. My chest tightens and blood pounds in my ears. I shouldn't press it, but I do. "Another? What else do you love?"

He doesn't pause. "Everything about you. And not all the stuff the public sees. Don't get me wrong. I love that too since I'm your biggest fan." He gives me a dimpled grin and winks. His face softens. "But I love all the things about you that no one else gets to see. Even things like this. Because in your struggle and pain, is the human side of you. It's the side that makes you flawed and more beautiful, which I never thought was possible before I met you."