Page 40 of Hate Wrecked

ROWAN

I took Riley home the morning after she showed up tipsy. When she got out of my car in front of her house, I saw the drapes move, and I wondered who saw us. Our secret was thinly veiled, yet no one had confronted us.

I could feel the future pressing into my lungs like a fire—my name thrown in the mud, written off, blacklisted, just like my father’s. I carried it on, followed in his footsteps.

She needed to choose. And if her choice meant I had to get a new job, I would welcome it.

When Barry showed up at the end of my shift to see Asa, I tried not to smile at him with a smug smile. I knew he didn’t care about Riley, but I also knew he wouldn’t be happy if he knew what had happened the night before. Even if I had stopped it.

After dinner, as Desi, Asa, Barry, and a growing number of guests had drinks, I heard Desi call Riley, telling her that Barry was there.

When Desi ended the call and told Barry that Riley wouldn’t be coming back to the house that night and that she didn’t want to see him, I left the house feeling hopeful.

I wasn’t often at the office, but I stopped in later that night to grab a book from my locker I thought Riley might want to read.

Mostly, I kept paperbacks and a change of clothes there.

But I also had something else stored there behind the lock.

A gold necklace with a fin on it. A gift I had bought for Riley months ago but hadn’t been sure I would be brave enough to give her for her birthday.

When I walked by the breakroom, I saw a few guys I knew there, and one hollered my name, so I peeked in. “Finn, come in here. We haven’t seen you in forever.”

I walked in, nodding to the guys. Ripper, one of the louder bodyguards, was in the corner. “How are things out at Asa’s house? I hear things get wild.”

I nodded, stepping in. “Yeah, they do. They’re probably going to get that way tonight. I’m glad I’m off.”

Ripper chuckled. “I would give anything for a post like that. But I have Joyce—who’s eighty—and the most exciting thing we do is take her Pomeranian for a daily walk.”

I laughed with the guys and resisted the urge to tell him I’d love a post like that sometimes. It’d beat the raging parties, the fighting, the broken glass, and the temptation of Riley.

“You’re just pissed you can’t seduce an eighty-year-old millionaire into making you her boy toy,” a man to the right said. I thought his name was Andy.

Ripper chuckled. “You got me there. Finn, how hot is Desi, though? Are you ever alone with her while Asa is out of town?”

The man beside Ripper smacked him on the shoulder. “What?” he asked, hands up in surrender.

I nodded, smiling. “I’m not there to hit on the boss,” I said. And I knew I sounded like a square. When the man who hit Ripper eyed me, I wondered why he smacked Ripper. Maybe he knew who I was and where I came from. Maybe he’d heard of my father.

I looked away.

“Yeah, yeah. If you ever want to trade posts, let me know.” Ripper raised his drink, and I nodded.

“Sure thing.”

“You probably won’t be there much longer anyway. It’s a training post, right?”

One of the other guys shook his head. “I don’t know, he’s been there for a couple years. Someone must like him.”

I nodded. “Well, yeah, originally it was training, but Asa wanted to keep me on permanently. His wife’s daughters spend a lot of time there, so he likes having a heavier team.”

Ripper grinned. “Ah, yes, the daughters. The oldest looks just like Desi, doesn’t she?” His eyes said everything, and I wanted to walk across the room and pop him right in his jaw. But I didn’t.

I smiled. “Yeah. She does. And I’d watch what you say. You know who her father is,” I warned, leaning against the doorframe. The guys joined in unison, saying oooooh , and watch it, Ripper.

Ripper laughed. “Yeah, yeah. Maybe I oughta work for him. Might jumpstart my career,” he pondered aloud.

I shook my head and left the break room and their conversation behind.

I didn’t make it out of the building, though. My boss caught me before I walked out the front door, telling me I was needed back at Asa’s house for a second shift. Things were getting wild.

* * *

The party raged inside, and I took up post in the garden, watching the waves roll in the ocean, making sure no one snuck up to the house from the beach.

I placed the paperback I wanted to loan Riley on the bench, and her necklace burned hot in my pocket.

It was carefully wrapped in tissue paper with a red ribbon around it.

Tucked inside was a note on parchment paper.

I would leave it all for you.

It was a truth I swallowed with hope and shame. Shame for wanting it. Hope for her wanting it too. But it was the truest thing I had ever written, and I hoped to give it to her the next time I saw her.

I didn’t expect to hear her voice coming from the party, but when I did, I turned back to the house.

I saw her there in a red dress—the fabric hugged every curve, and I could see from the distance that her lips were red and her dark hair was wild.

Her mother kissed her on the cheek, and I watched them talk.

I hoped she would look for me, and after she took a drink from one of the ladies holding trays around the pool, I saw her glance around.

When her eyes found me, she smiled and walked away from the party.

I knew Barry was somewhere inside, and the fact that she was choosing to come find me filled my heart with hope.

I didn’t feel pity for Barry. I knew he thought he was better than me, thought he was a better man because of his flashy car and his name in lights.

But all I saw when I looked at him was someone who would hopefully be washed up in a decade or so. I didn’t see anyone worth idolizing.

When Riley reached me, she looked down at the bench and smiled. “What’s this?”

I stepped closer but stopped myself from reaching out to her. “Our next book to read.”

Riley flipped through the pages. “We haven’t done that in a while. I thought you didn’t want to anymore.”

For years, we had danced back and forth.

Friendship, then more. Touching, teasing, then weeks without a word.

I had never taken drugs, but I imagined wanting her was what it felt like.

I lied to myself often, telling myself the last taste was enough—that I could give her up.

And then she would be in front of me, and I would be desperate to reach out, to tempt fate, to tempt my name and my reputation for just one more hit, one more hint of her sweetness.

It was dark where we stood, and I wanted nothing more than to look into her eyes, but she looked out into the ocean as she set the book back down. I reached out, brushing my fingers along hers as I looked out into the same ocean. “I do still want to share stories with you.”

She brushed her fingers back, brushing against mine. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Weren’t you off?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I thought you were staying at your dad’s tonight.”

“I wanted to be here in the morning,” she said, glancing at me.

“Why?” I asked.

She looked at me. “Because I knew you’d be here in the morning.” She moved toward me, and though my body begged me not to, I stepped back.

“What?” she asked.

I looked up at the house, at the party raging on. “I meant what I said at my place.”

She nodded, then took my hand, leading me down to the edge of the garden, toward the ocean.

* * *

She was quiet as we walked toward the water, her hand in mine. When she turned toward me, wrapping her arms around my body, I held her close, kissing the top of her head.

“What would we do?” she asked.

I swallowed. “I would transfer.”

“And be with another family every day. Another family demanding long hours, an erratic schedule.” She pulled away. “You’re here now after working this morning. Who’s to say the next assignment won’t be like this? Or worse?”

“There’s no way to know. But I want to be with you, Riley. I want this to be a real thing. No sneaking around. No one else.”

“There is no one else,” she whispered.

I stepped away. “There is someone else. And he’s right up there.” I flung my arm toward the house, toward the lights and the music.

“I hate him,” she whispered.

“You hate him right now. But what about tomorrow?”

Riley reached for me, and I let her. I let her wrap her arms around me again. “I don’t want my mess of a life to ruin you. To hurt you.”

“It won’t. Not if we’re together.” I kissed her then. Long and deep. And when she pulled me toward the lifeguard outpost between us and the shore, I let her. We were hands and mouths. Tongues tasting, clothes being pushed aside, secret places being bit and sucked.

I didn’t hear anyone approaching; I was too lost in Riley—my hand under her dress, my mouth on her neck. But I heard the words that tore us apart.

“What are you two doing down here?” Barry asked as he walked from the house, a beer in his hand. Riley shoved me away, pushing her dress down.

“Babe?” he asked, an edge to his voice.

“Nothing. What are you doing here?” Riley edged, and I hated the tremor in her voice—how she sought his approval.

“I’m sorry, did my unexpected arrival ruin your time with the bodyguard? What’s your name?” He sneered at me, the look in his eyes reminiscent of how he sometimes gazed at Riley’s mother when she wasn’t looking—when she was spoiling Asa’s fun.

“Rowan Finn,” I said, squaring my shoulders.

“Rowan Finn, do you like your job? Because last I knew, sniffing around your boss’s stepdaughter isn’t in the job description.”

“Was sniffing around your friend’s stepdaughter when she was a teenager in yours?” I asked before I could stop myself. In a flash, Riley stepped in front of me, blocking my path. Barry stepped forward, puffing out his chest. I almost laughed. He was 5’9”, and I had several inches on him.

“What the fuck did you just say to me, meathead?”

I laughed. Meathead. I had never been called that before. He didn’t like me laughing at him, but he didn’t make a move. Instead, he marched back toward the house. “Where the hell is Asa?”

Riley turned back to me, eyes wide. “Why would you talk to him like that?”

I glared at her. “He talked to me like that first, and unlike you and everyone else here, I’m not going to let him treat me like dirt.”

“Me? I let him treat me like dirt?”

“He fucks other women all the time, Riley. And you know that. You said you didn’t want to be your mother and look what road you’re going down.”

“Any road that doesn’t lead to you isn’t good enough?”

She walked at the house, and I grabbed her hand, desperate for a few more words with her before everything blew up. Before I was escorted off the property, or worse.

Riley looked back, eyes wet, jaw tense. “What?”

“He doesn’t even see you. Not the way I do.”

“See me how?”

“The real you. The one you hide from every fucking person on his planet but me.”

“I think we’ve let this go on too long.”

An ache sliced through my chest, and I stepped back. “This what?”

“Our friendship.”

I blew out a breath, almost laughing. “So that’s what you’re calling it now. Two minutes ago, there is no one else . Now this.” I wanted to walk away, down the ocean. But I looked her in the eye, pleading. “Riley, don’t do this.”

She didn’t get a chance to respond. Behind her, Barry walked toward us, Desi and Asa trailing. And the rest of the security team—co-workers, friends.

Asa spoke first, his arms crossed. Once again, Riley shielded me. “Rowan, is there something we need to know about?” He nodded toward Riley.

Her mother spoke next, an echo. A ghost. “Riley? Is there something you need to tell us?”

“It's nothing. I don’t know how this got so blown out of proportion.” Her voice was childlike, passive. I didn’t know if it was for my benefit or her own.

“Well,” Barry started, condescension dripping. “I came out here to see my girlfriend, and I caught her being taken advantage of by the help. Tell me I’m wrong here. I would love to hear it.”

“You’re wrong,” she said. And I was proud of her for looking him in the eye and telling him no; she wouldn’t let herself be humiliated in front of her mother and stepfather.

Even if it hurt. Even if it meant this died.

“Then what is this?” Asa asked, looking between us.

“Nothing. He’s just a friend, nothing more.”

“You can’t be friends with them,” her mother said, and it felt like a blow. It was a lie. Her ex-husband and his bodyguards had been friends over the years. He even got one of his bodyguards a role in a movie, leading to a thriving career.

These were the rules of this house. We were sentinels, unmoving. But I knew she had noticed us. She had seen it for a while. This was a show. A show for Asa.

“Maybe you can’t,” Riley laughed. “But I know my limits. I know self-control, unlike everyone else in this fucking house.”

Asa cleared his throat. “Regardless, this won’t do. I’m sorry, Rowan. I don’t know what is going on here, but you can’t keep working here. It’ll be distracting, and we need to maintain a professional environment.”

I nodded my head, and I saw Barry smiling from the corner of my eye.

“I understand.”

Riley’s mother spoke next, stepping forward. “You understand why he has to do that, right Riley?”

Riley scoffed, stepping away from me. “I don’t fucking care. Do whatever you want with him,” she grabbed Barry’s hand and led him away from us. She didn’t look back.

Everything inside of me broke as I watched her dark hair swaying, her hand in Barry’s, the way he looked back at me like he had won. But he hadn’t. Because the version of her she was with him was paper-thin—a fragment of who she was.

My co-workers stepped to my side, ready to escort me away, but I called out to Riley. I was done with the games, done with the back and forth. I didn’t want her to show up drunk at my window again, thinking we could continue our dance.

“Riley.” My voice was strained.

She looked back, eyes vacant.

“I meant what I said.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the tissue paper. Her eyes rested on it, then came back up to me.

She nodded. “I know. And I made it.”

The others around us were quiet, trying to figure out what we were saying. I just looked into her eyes until she finally answered, and when she did, I dropped the tissue paper in the sand. “Not you.”