Page 36 of Hate Wrecked

RILEY

I wanted to create desire in someone whole and pure, someone different from the people who ran my life. I wanted Rowan Finn, but we had resumed the roles the world deemed fit: bodyguard, daughter of the boss, friends in shadow.

The truth was we were barely speaking. Not since that night at his apartment when he drew a line between us.

But I was done with that.

Rowan walked out to the pool, his arms crossed, his jaw tight. “What are you doing?” he asked as I slipped my bikini down.

I still wasn’t taken, and maybe I never would be. Barry and I were still spending more time together, but we weren’t a couple in the light of day. He was a family friend, someone I partied with. Someone the tabloids speculated about.

Someone who tasted me in dark corners, but I never let go all the way.

Because my heart ached for someone else.

I want them both, for different reasons. That’s where my mind was. My heart was desperate for Rowan; the part of me that wanted to tear my life apart in the image of my mother wanted Barry.

“Skinny dipping, have you never done it?” I asked, turning to him. I liked the idea of unnerving him.

“Yes,” he said, eyes on mine, not moving down.

“Join me then,” I said, turning back to the pool, slowly stepping in. The cold water enveloped my skin like an icy glove.

It was warm in LA, spring, and looking back, it was too cold for a swim, but I didn’t care that night.

When I popped my head above the surface, I saw Rowan undressing, his jaw clenched as if he knew he would regret it.

I stared at him as he took everything off. His eyes darted to mine from time to time, stealing and lustful.

He dove into the water fast, my eyes only able to take him in for a second.

It didn’t matter. That body of his would soon be close to mine.

When he surfaced, he wiped the water from his face, looking around me. I was close, and I splashed at him.

He wiped his face again and glared.

“Loosen up, bodyguard,” I teased.

Rowan glared at me again. “Don’t call me that,” he said, splashing me back. “You know my name.”

I squealed and ducked into the water, swimming to him. In the dark of the water, I could see his strong legs moving, his tight abs. His hard length.

I liked knowing that being near me did that to him.

I resurfaced behind him, climbing his body. My breasts pressed to the hard lines of his back. “Body. Guard,” I whispered into his ear.

Rowan spun, grabbed me. “I don’t think your boyfriend would like this,” he seethed.

This is how we danced now: on the fringes of our fractured friendship, his profession, and my desire to bend boundaries. It was a dangerous age for me.

I wrapped my legs around him, felt his hardness slip past, and between my legs, I squeezed my things. “Be careful,” he warned.

I placed my hands on his shoulders, looking into his eyes. “Or?”

“Or I’ll find a new job.”

My heart beat fast. I didn’t want that. I always wanted him there with me, watching and bearing witness to my life. “Okay,” I surrendered, unlocking my legs and swimming away a bit. We swam in silence for a bit, and then I spoke. “I’m sorry for being…distant. There’s just been a lot going on.”’

“I know,” Rowan said, jaw tense. “Relationships are complex.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not a relationship. I don’t know what it is.” Most days, I didn’t care, but it was an obsession I couldn’t walk away from. Barry fed me enough to keep me wanting more. I didn’t know if I wanted him or if I didn’t want him to not want me.

“Have you asked him?” Rowan asked, and I could hear his disdain for Barry in his tone.

“He says I have a lot of growing up to do,” I remarked.

Rowan grunted out a laugh. “Then maybe he shouldn’t have pursued someone ten years younger than him—a teenager.”

I swam around him, circling him like he was my prey.

“Do you miss hanging out with me?” I asked, coming closer.

Rowan spun, keeping his eyes on me. “Yes.”

I smiled as I swam to the side of the pool, where my drink was.

Without a word, I climbed the stairs on the shallow end, the moon lighting me up.

I took a seat on the steps, my bottom in the water, my breasts exposed.

The drink was sweating. Vodka and soda fizzled as they went down.

I arched my back as I drank. And when I set the glass down, Rowan’s eyes were on me.

“I said I wanted us to be friends. You dismissed it. Said you wanted me to be your fucking bodyguard, but sometimes I think you want me to get fired,” Rowan said, swimming toward me.

I wished he would join me in drinking. But he never did.

Straight as an arrow, except when it came to me.

I grabbed the glass again, pressing the side to my breast, looking down at my work, at my nipple going hard.

Rowan walked to the steps, crawling beside me. He grabbed the glass from me and shocked me as he drank down the last of it, brushing past me to place the empty glass on the poolside. “What the fuck are you doing, Riley?” he whispered, mouth near my breast. I leaned back onto my elbows.

“I was hurt when I said all that,” I whispered, watching his eyes. “Maybe I want to know if you miss me.”

He was hungry, needing something from me.

I grazed his arm with my fingernails, and he leaned down, running his tongue along my breast, the one the glass never touched, using his tongue to make that nipple hard, too.

He moved out of the water more, his hand cupping the other breast, kneading it.

I leaned back, gasping as he sucked and pressed.

“I want you to teach me everything,” I whispered

Rowan’s mouth was hot on my body. “So he can reap the reward?”

“What are friends for?” I begged, grabbing his head and pressing his mouth back to me. Rowan came out of the water, holding my waist and carrying me out. He placed me on the towel I’d laid out, rough against my skin.

“What are you—” I gasped just as he gripped my thighs, pushing them up, then apart.

“Teaching you a lesson.”

“What’s that?” I asked, my voice all want and whisper.

“Be careful what you wish for,” he warned. I let out a breath as his mouth came down to my center, warm and hot as his tongue licked me.

I’d never had someone do that. He wanted to win another war, another first Barry begged for, and I used it as a power move when I really enjoyed Rowan’s mouth there.

Rowan spreads my thighs, licked up and down, his mouth covering me as he sucked my clit. I cried out, my hand reaching up to cup my own breast. “Does this feel good?” he rasped, and I nodded.

I wanted him to fuck me, claim me as his. I wanted to run away with him to some fantasy in my head—the Scottish shore, anywhere no one can find us. But it was all a dream.

And the reality was this: I was desperate for him, moaning when his fingers filled me, pumping into me as his tongue flicked and fluttered.

He pulled away, his fingers moving in and out of me. “I’m not going to fuck you while you’re with him, Riley.”

He moved up, his mouth finding my breast again as he fucked me with his hand. “Why do you do this to me?” he asked. I reached for him, wanting to feel his hardness, and he pulled away. Denying me.

“I hate this fucking job, Riley,” Rowan whispered in my ear as he brought me closer and closer.

“I fucking hate it, and I can’t leave. I wish I never met you,” he said as I clenched.

He bit my ear before moving down again; his tongue on my clit, flicking and sucking, relentless and brutal.

I cried out. The neighbors could probably hear me, or those on the shore.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care who heard me; I needed to be free, undone.

I came on his fingers, and he pulled them out, his mouth lapping me up, his hand gripping my thighs. I laid there breathing heavily, catching my breath.

When I opened my eyes, Rowan stood over me, eyes blazing. I reached up for him, and he stepped back, shaking his head.

“Let me repay you,” I said, and the look on his face told me it was the wrong thing to say. It wasn’t a transaction, but everything I’d been taught in my life until then told me otherwise.

“No,” Rowan said, walking to his pile of clothes, “You’ll have to figure out that part with him, I guess.” Then he walked inside, leaving me alone and naked in the dark.