Page 29 of Hastings (Brothers in Arms #15)

CHAPTER 29

E ssie tagged along behind with Esme. She wasn’t too worried about the girl with so many chaperones around. Mr. Westridge had come to show Hastings the horses. He was becoming horse mad, like the squires here. Mads and the parson were up ahead with them, half a dozen hounds dancing around them, vying for Westridge’s attention. Madelyn was studying everything, trying to commit it all to memory. Essie knew she was going to use it to play the lady once she left here. The thought made her sad. She’d enjoyed her time here with their little makeshift family at the parsonage. But she was itching to get back to London.

“You’re not interested in the horses?” Esme asked. She sidled closer and took Essie’s arm, like she was a proper gent out on a stroll with a young lady. Esme did smell good, and Essie liked the way she fit beside her.

She shook off those thoughts with alarm. Esme was not for her. She had Mary Peppers waiting at home for her and she’d not betray her with thoughts of another girl.

“No,” Essie finally answered after she realized she’d been quiet too long. “I don’t much like horses. Didn’t grow up around them except the carriage horses in London, and those can be right dangerous.”

“They can all be right dangerous,” Esme agreed. “I stay clear of Father’s hunters. I have a gentle mare that I ride, as does Mama.”

“Smart,” Essie said.

They walked in silence for a bit as Essie took in the grounds and the exterior of the house. Esme had no idea how lucky she was, growing up here. She had the confidence and pretty looks of a well-loved child, who’d never known hunger or fear. Essie was glad for her. She didn’t want Esme to suffer those things as she had.

Suddenly Esme grabbed her hand and ran behind one of the outbuildings and then began running along a row of tall pines, dragging Essie with her.

“What are you doing?” Essie said in a low, urgent voice, trying to stop without tripping Esme.

“I just want to be alone with you,” Esme said in a hushed whisper. “So we can talk freely.”

“I can talk freely no matter where I am,” Essie told her. “Hold up.” This time she pulled Esme to a stop. They were both breathing heavily from their brief run. “Here is fine.” She looked over her shoulder and couldn’t see the others.

Esme laughed. “All right.” She took Essie’s hand and began strolling casually around a good-sized garden, with a labyrinth of paths winding their way around small patches of flowerbeds. When they came to a bench between two beds that both had high trellises Esme pulled Essie down to sit beside her. “How long are you staying?” she asked.

“Tonight? I don’t think that much longer,” Essie said, looking around for the others again.

“No, silly. I meant here. In Ashton on the Green.”

“Oh.” Essie was suddenly uncomfortable. “Not long, I don’t think. Mads has to get back to…” Damn, she couldn’t remember where she’d said they were from.

“Northumberland,” Esme said drily. “You can drop that silly story. I know that Mrs. Higgs isn’t her real name and that you’re here protecting her.”

Essie looked at her in surprise. “Who told you?”

“The duke came to talk to Father and Papa Kurt and I overheard them,” Esme said without a trace of embarrassment. “Is she safe yet?”

“Not yet,” Essie confessed. “But soon, I think. And then I’ll go back to London.”

“And Mrs. Higgs?”

Essie shook her head. “No, I don’t think she wants to go back. I think she wants to stay here.”

“I think the parson would like that, too,” Esme said. “And what about the sheriff?”

Essie glanced over at her. “You know far too much.”

“That’s what happens when you keep a smart girl trapped in a boring little village,” Esme said with a sigh. “I know everyone’s secrets.”

“If it’s boring they can’t have too many,” Essie pointed out.

Esme made a face. “You’re right. At least, not ones that everyone doesn’t know already, although they all pretend not to.”

“Essie,” Esme said after another moment of silence which Essie could tell had been Esme building up her courage, “since you’re going to be leaving soon, I don’t suppose you’d kiss me, would you?”

Essie was shaking her head no before Esme even finished. “No. I really can’t, Esme. I know you’re not a child, but you are young, and I’d feel bad about it because of that. And I really do have a girl in London. Mary Peppers. She’s a nanny for some people I work with.”

“Oh.” Esme sounded so dejected even Essie felt sorry for her. “Not even one little kiss? It doesn’t have to mean anything. I’d just like to kiss you, and…and see what that feels like. With someone older, I mean, who’s done it before.”

“All right,” Essie said with a sigh. “One kiss, and then we go back to the others. Understand?” She figured it was an easy deal to make. What harm could one kiss do?

“Yes, just one,” Esme agreed quickly. She scooted closer on the bench and leaned it, her lips puckered.

Oh, Lord , Essie thought. This one was even more inexperienced than she’d thought. She slid her arm around Esme’s waist and tipped her chin up and kissed her puckered lips.

A moment later Essie wasn’t sure what had happened. She’d meant to just give Esme a sweet little kiss, and suddenly Esme’s arms were wrapped around her neck, her tongue was in Essie’s mouth and Essie was on fire from her mouth to her mound.

Esme climbed onto Essie’s lap and straddled her legs on the bench and ate at Essie’s mouth like she was starving. And Essie responded, damn her traitorous body. Esme was soft and plump and ripe and smelled so good and tasted like pudding. How was she supposed to resist that? She gripped the edge of the bench with both hands and did her best.

A wet nose and then a lick on her hand and a happy little bark brought her a reprieve. She tore her mouth from Esme’s and looked at her wide-eyed, panic filling her. She glanced around and saw only a few dogs sniffing around them, not Esme’s fathers.

“That’s enough,” she said in a voice roughened by desire and shock. She set Esme back on the bench beside her. Esme was grinning from ear-to-ear, her cheeks pink, her eyes knowing.

“If you say so,” she said, and primly smoothed her skirts out.

Essie narrowed her eyes at her. “‘Just one’,” Essie said, imitating Esme’s earlier plea. “‘So I can see what it’s like.’ You’ve been kissed plenty.”

Esme laughed. “Yes, well, you managed to trick Papa Kurt earlier. I thought I’d see if I could do the same to you.”

Essie shook her head. She’d gambled and lost here. “I can’t believe I fell for it, like a simple rube,” she lamented.

“I know I won’t be able to do it again,” Esme said with obvious regret. “But at least now you’ll have that to think about when you go back to your Mary Peppers.”

Essie was afraid that was exactly what was going to happen, because Mary Peppers had never kissed her like that.

Maddy was watching Hastings pet one of the horses. Like most city dwellers, she had a distrust of equines. She’d almost been run over as a child running from the law one too many times not to have a healthy respect for how dangerous they were. But Hastings seemed to have quite an affinity for them. Mr. Westridge had proudly shown him all the horses in the stable. There were so many Maddy had stopped listening to him list the attributes of each one. She was sitting on a bench with Stephen now.

“I’m sorry,” Stephen said softly.

“I don’t mind,” Maddy assured him. “He’s having such a grand time seeing the horses.” When she had watched him riding out on his big hunter the last few days, Maddy had felt a thrill race down her spine at how splendid he looked. It was clear he adored that horse.

Stephen was quiet and Maddy turned to see him looking at her in confusion. “I meant about last night.”

Maddy felt her face flame. He was apologizing for what had happened between him and Hastings, but wasn’t what happened this afternoon worse? She’d fucked Hastings against the wall like a common street girl. Regret and shame filled her.

“Stephen, don’t,” she pleased, covering his hand on his thigh with her own. “You don’t have to apologize. Truly. I understand.”

“Do you?” he asked, glancing over at Hastings. “I’m not sure I do.”

Maddy followed his gaze to see him crouching down next to Westridge, examining one horse’s shoed foot.

“He’s very hard to resist,” she said, longing for Hastings filling her. Then Stephen put her hand on his thigh and held it there, and she felt the muscles flex, and she wanted Stephen as much as she’d wanted Hastings a moment ago. “It’s all so confusing,” she said, voicing her feelings.

“Yes, I suppose it is,” Stephen agreed. “But I want you, too, Madelyn. You mustn’t doubt that. I just…I have feelings for Hastings, as well.” He shook his head. “You’re right. It’s all so confusing.”

Maddy couldn’t bear the guilt a moment longer. “I was with Hastings this afternoon,” she blurted out.

“Did you two make amends?” Stephen asked hopefully. “What did he say?”

“You misunderstand me,” Maddy said, terribly uncomfortable that she’d have to do more explaining. “I mean, yes, I was with him. But I was also with him.”

“Yes,” Stephen said, clearly confused. “You were with him. I heard that.”

Maddy licked her lips and turned to face Stephen directly on the bench. “I was physically intimate with Hastings this afternoon, Stephen. I was walking by his room, and he was in there half-dressed, and I stopped to apologize for intruding last night, and then, I don’t know, suddenly we were in each other’s arms and I took him against the wall.” She couldn’t meet his eyes. That ought to give him a clear picture of what kind of person she was. “I’m so, so sorry. I know you have feelings for him, and for what’s it’s worth, I think he reciprocates those feelings. But there’s been strong feelings between us since we met, and it overruled our common sense today.”

Stephen was silent for so long Maddy finally glanced up. He looked stunned. “But that’s marvelous,” he said. He didn’t look like it was marvelous. He shook his head. “A little unexpected, but I’m not entirely surprised. I knew you had those strong feelings between you.”

“Please don’t be hurt,” Maddy begged, taking his hands in hers. “We didn’t mean to hurt you. I won’t let my unruly nature ruin everything. I’ll be good, Stephen. It will never happen again, I swear. ”

“What won’t happen again?” Mr. Westridge said. Maddy looked over in horror to see he and Hastings standing not two feet away. She couldn’t think of an answer.

“She’s going to talk to Essie about tricking Kurt into wagering tonight,” Stephen finally said. “It won’t happen again.”

Mr. Westridge laughed. “It will, I’m sure. He can’t resist a friendly wager at cards. Say no more about it. It is of no concern.” He waved it away.

Maddy could see Hastings studying both her and Stephen. He knew. He knew she’d told Stephen, and he didn’t look happy about it.

“We should go,” Hastings said. He looked around. “Where are Essie and Miss Marleston?”

Mr. Westridge sighed. “I can only imagine.” He turned and headed out of the stables. “We shall have to launch a search party.” He didn’t sound too upset about it. Maddy hoped he understood that Essie was trustworthy.

Hastings didn’t say anything to them. He walked out after Mr. Westridge and Maddy and Stephen followed. Maddy had no idea what was going to happen next. That was up to Stephen. But she very much hoped his reaction tonight meant he wouldn’t hold it against Hastings. And there was a little bit of her that hoped she might still have a chance with him if he didn’t hold it against her.

To their collective surprise Essie and Esme were already back at the house when they got there. They were sitting in the salon having tea with Mr. Schillig and Mrs. Westridge. Essie looked nervous and Esme looked like the cat who got the cream. Poor Essie. They took their leave, and it was a long, silent drive home.