Page 37

ALANA

I’m sitting on my oversized chair that’s situated in the corner of my room, a book my grams sent me home with in my hand, a glass of wine on the drink table I bought especially for this chair since there isn’t a ton of room for an end table.

The silk pajama set that grams and I picked up on our last shopping adventure feels like butter along my skin when my phone rings.

All night, I’ve been waiting for it to ring, and now that it does, I’m too scared to look at the display to see who it is.

That’s probably why I let it ring five times until I give in to looking.

If it’s another one of those ‘your car warranty is about to expire’ calls, I’m going to scream.

“Hello,” I answer the phone, not looking at the screen in case it pisses me off.

“Hey, gorgeous, you okay?” Keller’s voice is smooth like velvet on the other end of the line.

The way he uses the word gorgeous , though, it has me stuttering in my thoughts, tumbling through emotions.

Not once during those few months we spent together did he ever call me anything except Alana or Lana.

“Me? Yeah, I’m… uh, I’m okay. Well, to be honest, I’m not okay.

I had no idea if you’d really call, and now that you have, I don’t know what to think about it.

” This is the time I really wish my layers wouldn’t peel back.

Any other time, I can hold it all in, well, until I explode.

Apparently, that’s happening here because my mouth just ran away from me.

“Fuck,” Keller says so low, I can barely hear it.

I decide not to say anything, instead leaving it up to him to say the words that I so desperately want to hear but know it’s a pipe dream.

I settle back into my chair, grab the blanket that I keep in a basket beside me, throwing it over my lap as I tuck my legs beneath me, and then grab my glass of wine I was smart enough to pour before settling in to read earlier.

“I screwed up. I know that now. Honestly, I knew it then. It’s not been a secret that Jace’s mother has never been in the picture.

Saw your text and didn’t realize how you felt, shit, how I felt until you were gone, Lana.

It hit me deep in the gut that I lost something good, real good.

” He stops. I hear him take a sip of something then the clinking of metal hitting a table.

“Keller,” I start, but he says, “Lana,” at the same time, causing me to laugh.

“You go first,” I give in because it’s not like I really know what to say right now.

“I’m an asshole, and trying to get you to talk to me while at school, that was a dick move.

I know this might take me a hell of a long time to fix, but if you let me try, I’m willing to bet it’ll lead us to somewhere fuckin’ amazing.

” It’s not an apology, and Keller is right about one thing—I’ll most definitely keep the ball in his court in the work department.

“You could say that again.” This time, I’m the one taking a sip of my drink to shut my mouth up.

“I deserve that and so much more. We’ll take things slow. I’ll call you, and when you’re ready, maybe you’ll let me take you out for dinner.” Now, that brings a smile to my face.

“I’d like that, a lot. I know that it’s not all your fault.

I developed feelings when we said we’d keep it strictly a friends- with-benefits type thing, Keller.

I honestly didn’t think you’d change your mind either.

That’s why I texted to cut ties because even though I may not know the full story surrounding Jace’s mother, I’ve heard rumors floating around town to get the gist of it.

So, when you hit me with those words while I was standing at the door, I honestly didn’t know what to think.

” I shrug my shoulders. Not that Keller can see this, but it helps relieve some of the stress I’m unknowingly carrying around with me.

“Good. Now I’m going to let you go because it’s getting late, and I know you’re working tomorrow. I’ll see you in the morning, gorgeous.” Keller doesn’t lead into anything else, and truth be told, I’m probably not ready for anything else too heavy for the night.

“Good night, Keller. See you soon,” I respond.

“Soon, Lana, real soon.” He ends with that.

I wait until he hangs up first before taking the phone away from my ear, already knowing I won’t be sleeping a wink tonight.

Nope, I’ll be doing that usual thing most women do, you know, analyze and process our conversation over and over again.

Tonight is going to be freaking phenomenal, said no one ever.