Page 63 of Guided by the Stars (Creating Destiny #1)

He starts trailing kisses along my collarbone and it warms me up, but I still feel numb.

When his hands land on my back I flinch, but my back isn’t hurting anymore.

I feel no pain. I recall then Hades telling Hypnos to heal my back.

Not sure exactly how he healed me. At this moment, I don’t care how, I am just glad I don’t register the pain anymore.

“I wanted to go to you, I’d have killed everyone who got in my way, but they were bringing you back when I got to the palace door. I’m so sorry I left you, I should have stayed.”

I put a hand on his mouth and shake my head.

“Can we please just not talk about that now? Plus I told you to leave, but seeing what I saw...Kai, I just...need you right now. I have never told anyone that before. I have always done things alone, but I have always been the one to hold things together and right now I can’t.

” I turn away from him because this is something I’ve never allowed anyone to see, my weakness.

But I’m done holding things back. Tartarus broke me and I couldn’t hold my emotions in anymore .

Tears prickle my eyes as they leak from the corners. The hot stream on my cheeks let me know they had escaped.

Those little traitors .

I don’t want him to see it, but there is no way for him to look away.

I feel another pair of powerful arms wrap around me and the scent of fresh cut grass and apples lets me know it’s Jax.

I need this closeness, and between these two guys who went from adult-napping me to earning my trust, I feel whole.

Kai tips my face up to look at him and keeps his other arm around me as he wipes my tears away.

Jax is still behind me with his arms around my waist, his chest pressed against my back.

I had shared something with him before this nightmare of a dinner.

I have shared myself with these two and trusted them more than I have ever trusted other people.

I know my mind is clear now. I know what I want. It’s time I tell Kai, but first I want his secrets too.

This is my home for the rest of my life, so why not start accepting this?

I thought Kai would have been mad or jealous because of Jax holding me, but maybe he knew. He said something earlier about me gaining both of their trust and maybe he knew I needed this. Both of them right now held me together and I just want them close to me.

I take a deep breath as I force a smile onto my face and wiggle around, letting them know that I need space.

I need this moment with Kai. It is time for our cards to be placed on the table.

I need to see what he hides behind this facade he’s put up since the beginning.

Jax kisses the top of my head and he gives me one last squeeze.

I see something flash in Kai’s eyes, but it is gone just as fast. “You’re one of the strongest people I know, Beautiful.

Tartarus isn’t for the faint of heart.” I turn to him .

“To fear the darkness is to be afraid of our own souls, I never feared the dark before. But that hell-hole showed me what true darkness is, and we three are not that. We have darkness in us, but I can see that it’s nothing compared to the gods that reign over everything.

” I hug Jax and he leans down, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.

He winks at Kai and walks out. I let a puff of air out of my mouth, turning back to Kai.

“I want to share something with you, but I want your secrets in return. I have shared most of mine, but I just need this from you, please.” I hold his gaze and there is openness there.

He pulls me towards him, his eyes never leaving mine.

I can’t tell if he will do it. I know I’m asking so much from him, but this can’t be a give-only relationship.

It has to be both give and take because even though I’m broken and defeated, I won’t be the only one to bare myself.

He leans over and kisses me tenderly at first, then his tongue is at my lips, asking permission to enter, parting my lips.

We begin a fierce dance, one that sends heat coursing through my body.

I’m alive again and heat pools in my stomach, leading down to my pussy, as it throbs.

I cling to him and our tongues continue the dance with one another, but more forcefully, with more heat than before, as if this will be the last kiss we will have.

He breaks away from me. “I will share most of my skeletons with you, but there’s some that are so deeply buried they might not come out. I have lived a long life, Skoteino.”

I bite my lip and nod because that is ok for now. He is offering more than what I thought he would. “Ok, I accept that, but I need to get out of this,” I say, looking down at the soul-dress I’m still in. I tear the stupid tiara out of my hair and throw it across the room .

Kai hurries to his closet to grab a shirt and I watch him walk back to me.

I can’t help but to think about this whole crazy situation that has happened since arriving here.

He and Jax were the best things that have happened to me aside from Nora.

I know if someone else had told me they had fallen for their kidnappers I’d have laughed and had them checked into the loony bin, but maybe it’s cause I never was normal either.

But these guys have been everything to me.

At the beginning, I’d have damned this gene that was awoken in me, but if I could change it, I won’t lie, I wouldn’t.

It led me to Nora, and it led me to Kai, and to Jax.

Kai stands there for a moment and stares at me.

I can see he is fighting anger and sadness, and that he also wants me.

My desire for him grows, I want him more than anything.

Sure, I just saw the most horrific shit in the world, but I know I could get lost in his body and it would help me, but that’s not what I want right now.

What I need is to know him one hundred percent.

I turn around, facing away and then turn my head to look back at him.

I watch him walk towards me, biting my bottom lip.

I close my eyes, it’s now or never. I plan to tell him the last piece of myself.

“My mother overdosed when I was ten, I was the one who found her. After my father died, she used drugs to cope, and she also sold her body to afford her habit. I took care of her and myself. The men she brought around were very vile, the way they treated her, like she was trash, and the looks they gave me made my skin crawl. I normally hid in my room. She was on the couch when I left for school, which wasn’t always unusual; it’s why I didn’t think much of it.

” I pause, it’s hard to finally tell someone other than Nora this secret.

“When I got home she was in the same spot, that’s when I went to her, but it was too late.

She was cold. I saw the needle in her arm.

I noticed her sunken face and the foam that had dried around her mouth.

I hate that I didn’t notice it before I left, that I was so stupid.

Why did I not check? She chose to leave me, Kai.

She felt she had nothing worth living for.

I am nothing .” Kai unzips the dress and I know he has to have seen the scars I showed Jax, but he has never commented before.

Kai peels the dress off me and I step out of it. “You’re not nothing. Don’t ever think that way.” He kisses my back softly.

I moan, but remember that I need to get this all out now.

“The foster homes they put me in were the worst you could think of. I was abused, mentally and psychically. They beat me more often than not.” I hear a crash outside the door and within seconds the room is full of shadows, but they have circled us and we are in a bubble.

The crash was because I didn’t lower my voice and I am guessing Jax heard.

It’s fine. I turn around and touch Kai’s handsome face, his stubble beneath my hand is such a turn on.

His eyes are so fascinating, they always lure me in.

“Names, Skoteinos Angelos, and I swear you can dole out your own punishments,” he rasps as he brings my hand to his mouth, placing kisses on my palm.

I lick my lips as I shake my head. “That isn’t what I want, especially after what I just saw Kai.

” I look away. Even though I’m sharing my secrets, me being whipped and marked by his father is one I won’t share yet.

“I’m sharing this with you because…” Do I love this guy?

Yes, in a way I guess I do, but I can’t tell him that, not yet.

So I give him a truth I know that I can say out loud.

“Because I trust you, no one else knows this besides Nora. It’s why I have been so tough most of my life.

It’s the darkness you see in me. I know it well because I ha ve lived in it my whole life, it’s where I’m comfortable.

” I’m left standing in my bra and his boxer briefs.

He lowers the shirt over my head and helps me bring my arms through the sleeves.

He pulls me into his arms and I melt into him.

The shadows are still around us, but he doesn’t let them near me.

He is keeping them away from us, cloaking us in them.

They pulse with coldness, but they aren’t creepy, not in the way Hades’ are.

I am grateful that Kai has stayed quiet, but I don’t know what he is thinking.

I can tell he is angry by the hard set to his eyes.

He is trembling but stays silent. Not just out of anger for what he has heard, it’s also that he understands that something has shocked me to my core.

I am sure Jax is too, but it’s something he needs to know.

I’m broken far worse than what people think.

I’m rotting from the inside out, and from the moment I met Kai, I felt that same connection I did with Nora.

I fought it. I pushed when he pulled and I pulled when he pushed because I didn’t want to admit to myself that I felt it.

I needed no one, and now I’m finding that I want Kai.

In all honesty, it’s more than want, I need him.

He is the half of me that is missing. I look at him and I want to tell him, I plan to tell him.

I am going to make this leap and hope I don’t fall alone.

I am not ready to say those three words, eight letters.

But I will tell him I choose him. After that I will have shared most of my secrets, all except for two.

One I am keeping so he will remain safe from his father.

The second one is that I am falling for him.

I know these two will be the hardest to share. So for now, I keep them.

I lean into his chest, and he wraps his arms around me.

“I’ve never allowed someone as close to me before, but tonight things changed.

Maybe it was seeing the souls being tortured, but I guess it’s better to…

” I stop myself again because love is su ch a strong word, and if he doesn’t love me, I know it will break me, so I just stand on my tiptoes and kiss him.

I allow this kiss to tell him what I cannot.

I pull away and look him in his eyes and see so much in them.

I know that even if I am stuck here for eternity, maybe I can find happiness with him.

“I want you to know, I choose you Kai. I know this won’t be easy, but I am willing to give myself to you.

” He kisses me so fiercely and I wrap my body around his.

I pull away and smile at him. “Your turn. I want to know what lies in the heart of my Prince of Darkness.” Those words influence his body as he pulls me tighter to him, and I can see desire and so many other things come alive in his eyes.