Page 21 of Grave Kisses (Graveyard of Hearts Collection #1)

Kendra

I am sitting on the edge of the bridge with my feet dangling off the edge. I hear someone coming up to me. “Scared I’ll wanna fly” I ask. I expect it to be Marcus or Bellamy, but Tim sits beside me. “Oh. You aren’t who I expected.”

“Well. I’m who you’ve got,” he says teasingly. “What’s on your mind?”

“Flying,” I say. “It would be so damn easy to end all the bullshit if I just… flew away.”

“The pain that made you fly will only move to someone else. Flying away doesn’t mean the problem is gone; it just moves on,” Tim says. “I don’t mean that in a guilt trip way, but as far as solving problems… it doesn’t.”

“You’re my dad,” I say, looking up at him.

“I am,” he says.

“Do I call you Dad?”

“You can call me whatever you want,” he replies. “Do you want to call me Dad?”

“I called Alan Dad,” I say. “You remind me of him.”

“Are you afraid it will feel like you're replacing him?” he asks.

“Yeah. I just… I signed adult adoption papers with him. Legally I am his daughter, but I’m not who I thought I was. I’m… a forgotten piece of the world.”

“No,” he says. “You are Kendra. Holly died that day, but Kendra… She is a fighter. A survivor.”

“So no one will call me Holly?” I ask.

“No. That’s not who you are anymore. Hell, some states allow you to change your baby’s name within a certain timeframe.

Sometimes we are different from our name, and that’s okay.

If you want to be Kendra, then that’s who you are to me.

It is my job as a father to support you unconditionally.

Even though I don’t know you very well, I will support you. ”

“I was hard on Jeff,” I say. “I shouldn’t have been so mean.”

“Eh. Just talk to him. You are both under a lot of stress,” he says. “Did I hear correctly that you are pregnant?”

“Yeah,” I say with a smile. “Eight weeks.”

“Do you know who the father is?”

“Nope. It’s either Marcus or Bellamy,” I say. “Is that weird?”

“Do they treat you good?”

“Better than I deserve, honestly,” I say. “They’re amazing.”

“Then it’s not weird,” he says. “Let’s go back so you can talk to Jeff, hmm?”

“Yeah,” I say.

Tim takes my hand and helps me stand before hopping across the railing before lifting me up to sit me on the safety. “I’ll follow,” he says. Instead of going to the truck, I hug him around his middle. When he hugs me back, his comfort relaxes me.

I pull back into the spot by the motel door, but I don’t move until Tim opens my door. “Come on, kid,” he says. I sigh and step out.

“I hope he isn’t mad,” I mutter.

“He’s a big boy. He can handle it,” Tim says with a chuckle. He takes my hand and leads me up to the door. After a moment of hesitation, I walk inside.

“Hey,” Marcus says with a smile.

“Hey,” I say quietly. He stands and wraps me in a hug before Bellamy does the same.

“We are going to get going,” Hannah says. “I have everyone’s contact number. Get with us tomorrow, and we can talk more,” Hannah tells me.

“Okay,” I say, standing to hug her.

“I’m so happy to have you back,” she whispers. “We will make up for lost time, yeah?”

“Yeah,” I say with a sweet smile. I pull back, and she wipes away her tears. “I’m not crazy. I promise.”

“I don’t know. You might be. She is,” Tim jokes. “We love you, Kendra.”

They leave before I can process if I should say that I love them. Do I? They seem nice. Like the parents I needed for all of those years. I toss myself in the bed and bury my face, not ready to get scolded by Jeff. A warm hand rubs my back, and I sigh as I relax.

“Kendra, can we talk?” Jeff asks. I roll to look at him, surprised that he is the one touching me. Am I okay with that? I think so. I trust him. He has a sad look on his face, but also a scared one.

“What?” I ask but then feel bad. “Wait, no. That sounded shitty. I’m sorry. I…”

“Listen,” he says softly, covering my hand with his.

“Okay,” I whisper. I can feel that Marcus and Bellamy are sitting in the bed behind me.

“I fucked up with your case. I have put you in danger when I was trying to protect you. I…”

“Say it,” Marcus says simply. When I see tears in Jeff’s eyes, I sit up and sit cross-legged to focus on him.

“Archer murdered my wife. Ex-wife. We were separated,” he says, and I slap my hands over my mouth.

This poor man… “She sat in her house with the heat on in the Texas heat for a week… I tried to just work and find him. I was so afraid knowing he hurt someone would send you over the edge. I’m trying so hard to keep you safe, but… ”

“I’m sorry you lost her,” I say quietly.

“Truthfully, I’m upset because I’ve known her for years.

We weren’t in a good spot when she died.

Maybe I’m not as upset as I should be, but…

I’m trying to focus on the case, but I’m overwhelmed with keeping you safe.

I fucked up, and I’m sorry. I declined to hand the case over to someone else, but… ”

“What? No. You can’t hand it off. Who else am I going to tease?” I ask, making him smirk and shake his head at me. “Jeff, I’m a bitch. Okay? I was a bitch to you, and I shouldn't have been. Yes, you’ve messed up, but you haven’t given up. Have you?”

“No, but I…”

“I wish you had just told me,” I say. “I’m not buying the bullshit where you thought I’d murder myself. Why?”

“Yeah. Why?” Bellamy asks.

“Hey. Beavis and Butthead,” I say, looking at Marcus and Bellamy. “I don’t need input from the peanut gallery.”

“Watch it, Brat. You think I give a fuck if he is sitting here?” Marcus threatens.

“You wouldn’t,” I laugh and turn back to Jeff. “Why didn’t you just tell me? You know that I would have understood.”

“I know,” he says softly. He is relaxed and searching my face. I cannot discern his thoughts at the moment.

Jeff is eleven years older than me at age thirty-nine.

He is handsome, and his presence is comforting.

Not in a parental figure way, but more so in a way that I know makes something flutter in my belly when he smiles at me.

His short, trimmed, but full beard is black with hints of gray.

His hair is short and black. He doesn’t look ripped or anything, but he is fit and could still throw my ass around.

All three of these men have these thick veins bulging in their forearms, and it’s intoxicating.

I don’t know why, but far too often I find myself watching his body, wondering what it would feel like to be closer to him. To feel him.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I squeak out.

“I could ask you the same, darlin’. What’s on your mind?” he asks. I drop my head and look at my hands. What am I thinking of?

Why was he so focused on me and not the case?

I am a part of the case, no? Unless he means…

No, I am way too fucking chaotic for him to be interested.

I don’t know why Marcus and Bellamy are, truthfully.

I am a fucking ticking time bomb; an asteroid on a collision course.

I sniff back tears that I didn’t even know were forming when the realization that I am hoping he is interested hits me.

I can’t hope for that. I can’t want another man in my life.

What is wrong with me? Am I really so difficult that I need that many people around me?

“Kendra,” Jeff says, gently lifting my face. His touch is so persuasive that it only takes one finger under my chin for me to melt like fucking butter and look up at him.

“Just hand off the case,” I say quietly. “It’s for the best.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t shut me out,” he says. I try to get up, but he grabs my wrist. Out of pure desperation and sadness, I yank my hand away. For whatever reason, when he tries to grab me again, I immediately react by trying to slap him.

“Jeff!” I yell when he grabs me by the wrist with one hand and the throat with the other.

I am pushed down onto the bed, so I am lying across it.

Jeff has one arm pinned, and Marcus quickly pins the other before I can react.

No one is being violent, but their sudden reaction stopped me from spiraling before the world even started to spin.

I have my eyes squeezed shut, and I can choke on my tears now.

When I begin to try and wiggle free, his hand moves from my throat to the bend of my hip.

“Kendra, baby,” Marcus says softly. I shake my head and try not to fall apart. “Kendra, look at me. No one else, just me.”

I force my eyes open, and he smiles. He can see right through my bullshit, and he knows. “I can’t,” I say tearfully.

“Yes, you can,” he says. “Let’s just take this one step at a time, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“What do you think he is thinking, baby?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think.”

“Yes, it does. Tell me,” he says gently, but with a firm tone.

“I’m too much for anyone to handle,” I sniffle. “Why would I fuck someone else’s life up by letting them close to me? I am a fucking black hole that sucks everyone in and destroys them. My entire existence has hurt everyone, but…”

“Fuck,” Jeff says with a sigh. “Kendra, honey. Please look at me for a second.”

“What?” I say through tears as I look at him.

“Is this because of my comment about it taking two men to handle you?”

“Yeah,” I whimper.

“I shouldn’t have said that, Kendra. I didn’t mean it badly, and I never should have said it how I did,” he says. “You are not too much to handle. You are very simple. Simple is good, Kendra.”

“Fuck, I’m confused,” I shout tearfully.

“Will you just fucking say it?” Bellamy says. “You’re making this more difficult than it needs to be. You know where we stand.”

“No,” I say. “Don’t say…”

“I like you, Kendra,” Jeff says to me. “I am so damn attracted to you. I’m so caught up with trying to protect you that I lost focus on the case.

I got Jane killed, and I feel guilty for being more worried about you than sad about her death.

I don’t know how to make up for everything, but I am going to try. I have to.”

“I don’t know what to say,” I admit.