Page 46 of Grand Master

FREEDOM IS AN ILLUSION

Let her think that she’s gotten away…

The words bounced around in my mind over and over as I swallowed down rage and uneasiness that kept rising inside of me. It felt like I was at the edge of a cliff getting ready to fall headfirst.

“I’m sorry, Grand. We were having a good time, I thought everything?—”

“Was cool…” I cut Staress off.

“You thought shit was cool enough to let her walk inside of a strip club during the day after shopping for hours. I thought we agreed for her to meet her friend Yvette in a public place with you right beside her?”

Calm yourself…focus on the board…

“Bro,” Tone stepped in front of Staress just as I started to see double.

“You were supposed to watch her!” I yelled.

“I’m sorry, Grand, I…”

I stood behind my desk, every nerve in my body pulled tight like a thin string getting ready to snap.

My fingered hovered mid-air above the black bishop on my chessboard but I didn’t move it.

I turned to see my owls behind me, deathly still.

They were watching and judging. Josie blinked and tilted her head, her eyes darkened.

She was feeding off of my energy, ready to attack at any small sign.

“She said she wanted a moment with her friend and that it wouldn’t take long?—”

“A second is all it takes for a move to lose and mess up my fucking board.” I snapped my gaze to her.

“Breathe, Kenric. You’re getting ready to slip, bro.

Please, breathe…” Tone stepped in, hands raised but it was too late.

My mind didn’t feel present, it was recalculating and rewinding every possible move on my board that led up to this moment.

Every misstep, every overlooked detail. My mind spiraled out of control as I gritted my teeth.

“This can be good; I checked her location on her phone. I know where she is, there’s men discreetly in the shadows keeping a close eye on every move she makes and?—”

I held my hand up to stop Tone from talking.

Fuck all of that, and his logic. I didn’t give a fuck about knowing her location, this was not what I envisioned.

I blinked my eyes rapidly to clear my vision as a migraine took over the forefront of my brain.

My eyes focused on the board; Mira’s pawn was gone.

It probably was taken off the fuckin’ grid while I was too focused on protecting the King due to Dre’s bitch ass…

“Miscalculation.” I mumbled out loud to no one in particular.

“That’s what this is…a miscalculation.” I tried to convince myself, but deep down I knew that was bullshit.

I wanted to storm out, haunt Mira and drag her back here in chains. Maybe that will teach her a lesson about fucking lying and playing games with me!

Heat shot down my spine, my fists clenched tightly as my breaths came in short. The room tilted, my vision suddenly went red around the edges.

Impulse, unchecked…

“Kenric…” Tone’s voice sounded far away.

Before anyone could speak again, I exploded.

The heel of my palm hit the edge of the board, and everything went flying.

Chess pieces fell off my desk then scattered across the floor.

I threw the board against the wall, then watched it split down the center.

I slammed both hands down over and over against the table until the sting brought me closer to reality.

“She ran,” I hissed out.

“She left after she promised to not run…” My hands shook.

“Mira thinks I’m crazy…too robotic. I revealed too much, I need to call Nemesis and tell him that this fucking medicine isn’t working!” I opened my desk drawer with shaky hands and eyed the small vile bottles of the blue potion that Nemesis made.

I debated if I should have taken another dose. It felt like I was losing my mind. My migraine grew more intense as I mentally tried to slow down my overbearing thoughts.

Why did she run? She looked me in the eyes and said that she wouldn’t…she felt the strong shift between us, she admitted to it…so why the fuck did she run?

“Kenric, she’s not gone. She probably just needed space, I know exactly where she is. We can go get her, but I do think it’s important that we handle this shit with Dre and Smack tonight.”

The blue vials glinted under the dim lights, it seemed like it mocked me with its promise of clarity in the moment.

My fingers froze over them; my heartbeat pounded like a drum in my ears.

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting against the thunder in my skull and the panic clawing at my chest. There was no escaping this spiraling chaos—not with medicine, not with logic, not with rage.

I looked up at Tone uncertainly and became pissed all over again.

I could smell his fear, mixed with Staress’s fear mingling with my own frustration.

I wanted to scream and shatter the void feeling that crept up my spine with Mira being going.

I was officially out of control and couldn’t fathom it.

I felt this sick, relentless ache that dwelled inside of me.

I was about to go on a rampage that would leave people soulless.

“How about you call her.” Staress timid voice creeped into my ears.

Josie made a low clicking noise, I clicked my own teeth and waited seconds until I felt her land on my shoulder. The weight of her calmed me a bit. Josie even felt unsettled, I looked into her big black eyes and got lost within them.

“You can’t control everything. You always say how you don’t play the board you own it. Owning it means adapting as well. Right now, you gotta think, not break. You’re used to shit playing out how you expect it to go just off of impulse alone bro. Most of the time?—”

“All of the time!” I cut into his sentence.

“Yeah, that… All of the time shit goes the way you see fit…because everything is under your control Kenric. You won’t be able to control Mira, and even if she let you take over and own her, you can’t keep her as your hostage. That ain’t real love.” Tone’s voice was steady now.

I didn’t respond, I just stared at the wreckage of my board. My game, which was a symbol of balance and foresight. It was ruined, just like my control.

“Real love is letting her have a girl’s day with a woman that you can’t seem to get a fucking grip on.” I gritted out.

“I let Mira wash me off of her skin and walk out of this muthafucka happy because I’m addicted to seeing those big eyes of hers tilt upward whenever she’s excited or happy.

She walked out of here open to the idea of us!

I own her fucking body, not her mind! And I fucking love her without owning her! ” I admitted out loud.

I inhaled sharply then pinched the bridge of my nose. The room went silent as I repeated the words that I just said aloud inside of my head.

“Get Dre here, by any means necessary. I’ll pay Smack a visit right now, myself.”

I gave Tone my back. I glanced out of the floor-to-ceiling window that overlooked the city. Josie’s claws dug into my shoulder as I tried to make sense of everything.

“Bro-”

“Tone.” I said his name flatly.

“You need to go visit Smack with men at your front and back.” Tone spoke urgently.

“I won’t need anyone with me for this. You just focus on Dre; I’ll be with him tonight as well.” I placed my hand flat against the cold window.

“Get out.” I stated lowly.

“Come on baby.” Staress whispered.

I listened to them leave, then welcomed the silence that followed.

I turned around then placed both of my palms on my desk.

I couldn’t even bring myself to observe the mess that I had made.

The chessboard that had been broken was the first birthday gift from Pops.

I cherished it, and because of my control slipping from my grasp, I ruined it.

I squeezed my eyes shut; my teeth clenched so hard my jaw started to throb.

A soft flutter next to me and the light weight of her presence reminded me that Josie was still observing me.

Her weight lifted off of my shoulder and landed at the edge of my desk.

Her snowy feathers puffed out as her head tilted, willing me to look into her wise, eerie, dark eyes.

She blinked twice, like a signal and calmness filled my chest.

“You think I let her slip away?” I said above a whisper.

Josie let out a soft click, the sound was low and hollow, it was the sound she only made whenever I spiraled out of control.

Josie was my compass, my sanity whenever the meds dulled too slow and the chaos inside of me surged above it.

She blinked again, then picked up her claw to nudge the phone on my desk.

My throat tightened, as a need too strong to recall clawed at my chest.

“Call her?” I murmured in disbelief.

It was a simple task that I could have been did before I got to this point. I reached for the phone and just stared at the black screen for a couple of seconds before unlocking the phone.

My finger hovered over her name ‘Little Owlette’ my heart hammered in a slow, deliberate rhythm. Josie watched, silent sentinel, as I pressed “call.”

After a long moment, her voice came through the speakers sounding tentative, wary, as if expecting the worst.

“Hello?”

I inhaled sharply; I closed my eyes and tried to picture her wherever the fuck she was at.

“Mira.” My tone was smooth, I bet she couldn’t tell how on edge I was by hearing my voice.

“Why did you run?” I continued.

There was quietness on her end, the faint sound of her uneven breaths pissed me off even further. I could almost smell the city on her, imagined her at either bus stop or at the train station with her—violin…it was here, with me. That violin was dear to Mira...

Maybe she didn’t plan on running…maybe she needed time…for what?

“You know I can find you,” I said lowly, a fact more than a threat, my words curled through the speaker with measured patience. “I can bring up your location with less effort than it takes to breathe. So why pretend?” I gritted out.

She exhaled, a shaky rush. I was growing impatient to just hear her melodic soft voice explain to me why.