Page 74 of Goode Vibrations

I closed my eyes, afraid she’d think me less sexy and less masculine if she saw the emotion I was feeling.

“Errol?”

“Mum—” My voice broke. I cleared my throat, tried again. “Mum used to do that. What you just did, with my hair. She used to brush it over my ear. Ruffle it. I hated it, back then. I was a big boy, didn’t want my mum playing with my hair like I was some dumb baby, you know? Silly macho boy stuff.”

“I don’t know if that means I should do it again or not.” I couldn’t open my eyes. She touched my closed eyelids with her thumb. “Errol. It’s okay.”

I shook my head. “Dunno why I’m—it’s stupid.”

“It’s not.”

I heaved a breath, tried to compose myself. “I still miss her.”

Everything burned. Eyes, chest. Lungs.

I felt something warm and soft and wet touch my eyelids: she was kissing them, one and then the other.

“It’sokay, Errol.” Her arms went around me.

“It’s stupid.”

She laughed. “I know. Big tough guys like you aren’t allowed strong emotions.”

“Don’t mock.”

“I’m not.” A laugh. “Okay, maybe I am. But it’s teasing, not mocking.”

“I just…I don’t know how to…”

She ran her hands through my hair. Brushed it back. Palmed my cheeks, thumbs grazing over my eyes, and I knew her thumbs would come away damp. Into my hair again, soothing. Caressing, again and again.

“When I tell you it’s okay,” she whispered, “what I mean is that it’s okay to let me see what you’re feeling. I won’t think less of you. I’ll still be attracted to you.”

“Not what we’re taught, as men.”

“So unlearn it.” She kept stroking my hair, and each touch of fingers soothed the ache in my heart. “I’ll still want to suck your cock even if I’ve seen you cry, Errol.”

I broke out laughing, even as I felt things break open inside. “Is that so?”

“It is so,” she insisted. “I could show you, right now.”

“Don’t tease, Pop.” I shook my head. Forced my eyes open, to meet hers.

“Who’s teasing?” Her gaze was serious, hot, open, frank.

“We just made an agreement about no sex until after your sister’s wedding.”

She bit her lip. “That could start after.”

“You do that, I’ll want to give you an orgasm or three, and then we’ll spend the rest of the day doing dirty and delightful things to each other.”

She moaned, rested her head against my chest. Sighed. “Dammit.”

“You started it.”

“I was trying to reassure you.”

I clutched her close, feeling her torso expand with each breath. “You did. More than you’ll ever know.”