Page 77 of Goode to Be Bad

I tried to pull her away, but she went deeper, and I felt her mouth around my base and her throat around the head and I couldn’t stop myself from coming, from letting loose and I felt her swallow, gulp, her hands both wrapped around my cock as she backed away and pumped me wild and fast and I came again, and she swallowed and her tongue swirled and I felt like I was being ripped apart in the best possible way.

I felt dizzy and faint, light-headed as the orgasm blasted through me.

She didn’t stop there.

Kept her mouth on me, held me in her hands and licked and kissed as I seeped and faded, aching, blissful and spent.

Finally she crawled up my body and rested her cheek on my chest, not saying a word.

And neither did I.

I was conflicted.

That had been one of the best—in fact,the bestblowjob I’d ever gotten, including the first one from her that was the only other one even close in comparison. It had alleviated the boiling ache in my balls. It had feltgood.

But it wasn’t what I wanted.

I wantedher.

I wantedus.

I’d take blowjobs any day and every day, and thank her with as many orgasms as she could handle. But that was meant to be her way of thanking me for last night, or this morning, or whatever it was. It was meant to stand in for the intimacy she was too afraid to give me.

We couldn’t even have sex without some excuse behind it, because the kind of sex I wanted with her meant more than fucking, more than hooking up. So much more. And she wouldn’t dare let that happen.

So she skirted the issue with oral play that in no way satisfied me, or her. I knew that, but I wasn’t sure she was allowing herself to recognize it.

I wanted to be stronger—to have the courage and fortitude to deny her the oral distractions.

To force the issue.

But I wasn’t that strong.

So I said nothing. Just held her. Let the mountain of unspokeneverythingandmorepile higher between us.

“Myles, I…”

I touched her lips. “Shush, Lex.”

“But—”

“Are you ready to talk?” A thick, telling silence. “Thought so. So just…let it be, for now. Okay?”

“This isn’t how I want things to be, Myles.”

“Me either. I said my piece. Rest is up to you.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“I went after you, yeah?” I touched her cheek, rolled to an elbow and gazed down at her. “I found you. Brought you here. Gave you space. Didn’t push nothin’. I’mhereLex. I ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

“But if I can’t eventually give you what you want, you will.”

I shook my head. “It ain’t about condom or no condom, babe. That’s the least important thing on the planet to me. It’s about what it represents. It’s about vulnerability.” I held her gaze. Let her see as deep into my heart and soul as she dared look. “It’s about there being anus.”

She had nothing to say to that, and that told me everything.

Moscow.