Page 59 of Goode to Be Bad

“Yes, we do,” Cassie and I said in unison.

I shoved Cassie away, but it was playful and loving and only partially serious. “Shut up, dork.”

She just shook her head and let Charlie take her place at my side.

She just hugged me tight. “I love you, Lex.”

I waited, but nothing else was forthcoming. “That’s it?”

She laughed. “Yeah, that’s it. Everything’s been said several times in several ways, so there’s no point me piling on. I love you, I support you, I’m here for you. That’s it.”

I sniffled. “Thanks, Char-Char. You’re the best.”

Cassie scoffed incredulously. “Oh,she’sthe best? Is it because she dropped her entire life to come do an epic road trip with you? Because I could have done that.”

“But ya didn’t,” I sang.

“Whatever,” Cassie said, but I knew she was teasing.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Crow and Myles standing close together, foreheads bumping, murmuring in low tones. Crow grabbed Myles by the back of the neck, shook him. Shoved him away in a rough gesture of masculine affection. Stopped near me. His dark eyes burned into mine. He closed me up in a hug.

Whispered, his voice rough and raspy. “Don’t fuck with his heart, Lex.”

I swallowed hard. “Doing my best, Crow.”

“Sometimes our best ain’t enough, darlin’. Sometimes, you gotta go past just doin’ your best.” He tapped me on the nose, just to annoy me. “You’ll be alright.”

And then it was just me and Mom—the girls and Crow had trooped off to check out the plane and Myles had followed them.

She hugged me, too. Hard. Tight. Mama-bear fierce. “I love you with all my heart, Alexandra Rochelle. Don’t you forget that.”

“Iknow, Mom.” I swallowed hard. Then I said the words that did not atallfucking come easily or naturally: “I love you, too.”

She pulled away, and lost the fight against tears. “I’m sorry I failed you, Lex. I hope someday you can tell me.”

Fuck, fuck. NO.

“Mom…shit.” I closed my eyes. Felt them burn, hot and salty. “Don’t. Please don’t.”

“Can’t help it, baby girl. I’m your mama. I worry for you.”

“I’ll be okay. I’ll figure it out.”

“It’s just…” She rested her cheek against mine. “You don’t get all that many chances at true happiness in this life, Lex. I’m on my second, and I know I won’t get another. I’m taking it and I’m running with it, and I amnotletting go, not for a damn thing. No matter what. Because, Lexie, honey, Lucaslovesme. Being loved like that? There’s nothing like it. And it’s wortheverything.”

Swallowing was hard, breathing was hard. Being me was hard, in that moment. I clung to her. “I hear you. But it may not be possible for me. And I can’t really explain why. Not yet.”

“I’m your mother, Lex. Why not?”

I shook my head. “I can’t.”

She sighed and let me go. “Okay. Someday?”

I shrugged, blinked hard. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

She walked me to the stairs and we hugged again. Charlie, Cassie, Crow, and Lucas went down the stairs and reached the tarmac. They all piled into the Suburban and headed for the ferry, and then it was just me and Myles at the bottom of the steps, waving goodbye to everyone. He grabbed my hand and we ran up the steps, pausing at the top to look back. Seeing my damp eyes he said, “Okay, Lexie?”

I shrugged. Nodded. Shook my head. “I don’t know.”